


(never gonna) Feel The Same

by emilyszuko



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Past one night stand, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:55:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 52,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyszuko/pseuds/emilyszuko
Summary: “Mommy? When are you and Daddy going to get married?”The question pushes Felicity’s mind into overdrive, her heartbeat increasing as panic sets into her bones. She doesn’t know how to answer this question without sending herself down the deep end, because for one, she could say the wrong thing and disappoint her daughter, or she could also say the wrong thing and give her false hope. Parenting a child with a man you’re not with but had a one night stand with once that resulted in said child ishard. Who would’ve thought?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally wrote it... For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, I had recently written [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563327/chapters/31268172) one shot which had gotten quite the reaction. At the time, I had intended to extend it into a multi chap but got sidetracked when I was inspired to write another fic.
> 
> That being said, if you had indeed read the one shot before, please be aware that some things in the first chapter will sound familiar, especially the middle. I'd advise you NOT skip over it though because I changed up a few lines to fit the plot that I came up with.
> 
> Speaking of plot, I have to give major kudos to [@stardonium](https://twitter.com/stardonium?lang=en), [@fellicityqueen](https://twitter.com/fellicityqueen?lang=en), and [@muslimsmoak](https://twitter.com/muslimsmoak?lang=en) (among others) for helping me come up with a legit plot. this truly wouldn't have been written without them.  
> And also to anyone else who just expressed their desire for this fic. You guys are awesome.
> 
> That's enough talking. Please enjoy!

“Thanks so much for even considering this. I assure you that both our companies along with so much more people will benefit from this joint endeavor. I'll have my assistant set up a meeting time so we can sort out the details.”

“Oh I have no doubt this will help many people. And I look forward to meeting you Ms. Smoak.”

“As do I,” Felicity finishes, swiping the end button on the screen of her phone before setting it down on her desk, the conversation she just had one that she knows will have her giddy for the rest of the day. 

She spins her chair around, eyes studying every inch of her large open office. The bookshelf to her right filled with published works of the women and men she admires. The sitting area not too far from that, red and white sofa and lounge chair adding color to the room in a way she knows everyone would say is so her. The small set up of the coffee machine which fuels her daily supply of caffeine, along with other nick nacks that fill up the walls. All of this and more makes up her space, but it's not just the office that she calls her own. It’s her floor, her building, her company.

Her company that's now finally on the verge of changing the world… or maybe just Star City as of now.

Smoak Technologies was always headed in this direction, but after the phone call she just had, it's that much closer. It's only been 2 years since the company has been on its feet, but she was never satisfied with the few things that she was able to achieve in that space of time - though she knows the few she's done is a lot more than that of some of the other fortune 500 companies that have been around for decades. Nevertheless, the technology that she's already created will be put to their best use, once this deal is sought through the to end, that is.

Her phone buzzes on the marble top of the desk and it slides shortly across the surface before she retrieves it, the alarm alerting her that it's time to pick up Amy from her daycare. She begins gathering her things to place inside her purse, eyes glancing towards the two photos on her desk. One of them are of her and her beautiful 5 year old, which she considers one of her favorite pictures because she's looking down at her, the adoration in her eyes undeniable while Amy is of course making a silly face at the camera, her two missing front teeth on display. If she weren't already smiling, seeing it would've been a sure fire way to improve her day.

Next to that photo, however, is a picture which includes the other person within their weird mismatch of a family. Oliver’s sitting while he holds a sleeping Amy, herself situated next to him as she cleans their daughter’s mouth of what she remembers to be barbecue sauce. They were at the Diggle’s annual cookout, and after Amy had run herself dry, she'd come to her father to use him as a bed for her naptime.

She recalls that it was John who had taken the photo, and it's another one of her favorites because it's just them, in their bubble. She can't explain it exactly, but she guesses she doesn't need to. They're 2 of the most important people in her life and she figures it's fitting to have a photo of them here. She realises everytime she thinks about why she has a photo of Oliver on her desk, she has to be justifying its significance, but she ignores it like she always does. 

She double checks that she has everything she needs, glancing once more at the time on her phone before heading for the door. As she's stepping through it however, she comes face to face with a member of her board of directors, Mr. Jameson. Behind him is her assistant, mouth poised in disapproval in an obvious tell that he'd been attempting to enter without her prior knowledge. 

Mr. Jameson’s greying hair matches the grey material of his designer suit, his face set in the permanent glower. He's one of the 4 men on her 9 member board, but he comes first when it comes to misogyny. She doesn't particularly like him, but she keeps the smile on her face as she greets him, though it's become far less genuine now.

“Mr. Jameson, I wasn't aware we had a meeting today,” Felicity says, aware of the fakeness in her voice but unable to do any better. Her eyes move to her assistant once more as she gives her a reassuring look, letting her know she doesn't need to worry about her placing any blame on her because she’s entirely aware this man came here expecting whatever demands he has to be met immediately.

His voice is gruff and unwelcoming, not even attempting to come off as sincere, “Oh, we do not Ms. Smoak, but I actually wanted to-”

“Well you're going to have to speak to my assistant to appropriately set an appointment for a later date, Mr. Jameson,” Felicity cuts him off, making sure to keep her voice light and her face innocent. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading out to pick up my daughter from daycare.”

She might be wrong, but she swears she sees steam coming from his ears. Doing her best to avoid laughing in his face, Felicity side steps him, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she approaches her assistant. Jessica’s speaking before she reaches her desk.

“I set up an appointment with the CEO of Kord Industries for your meeting tomorrow at 10 am Ms. Smoak, and along with that, Alena would like to discuss her research findings with you as soon as you're available.” Jessica rushes off, as eager as she always is. 

“Thank you, Jessica. You can leave as soon as you attend to Mr. Jameson here,” she glances behind at the man to see him impatiently waiting for her to leave so that he can sort out his situation. Motioning to the both of them, she goes on, “Have a good rest of your day.” 

She leaves before he can add anything else.

Felicity takes the executive elevator to the floor of the Daycare - something she'd put in place as soon as the company had become a reality. Being a young mother herself, she knew the struggles of working parents who needed a safe affordable place for their kids while they were at work. So, she’d made sure that each and every employee had the daycare services available for them, free of cost. 

Today she'd been too busy to pick up Amy from school, and with Oliver caught up with sorting out the details for his trip out of the city to fulfill mayoral duties, he'd been unable to as well. So she hadn't seen her baby since she dropped her off at school that morning, and she misses her sweet face dearly. She'd asked her friend Iris to pick her up and drop her off at the company for her, and is lucky that she'd agree to.

Stepping off the elevator to the daycare, Felicity greets the woman at the front desk, making small talk before the woman lifts to phone to her ear, starting the call to alert the childcare worker in charge of Amy’s group that she's here.

A couple minutes later, she hears the thin squeak of her baby girl as she bounces over to her. Felicity turns towards her, arms open and ready. And then she's got an hand full of adorable 5 year old.

“I missed you baby,”

Giggling softly, Amy looks down at her face from her higher position where she's holding her, “I kinda missed you too.”

Letting out a fake gasp, Felicity turns on her heels, muttering a goodbye to the woman at the front desk, as she heads back to the elevator, “Kinda? Well I take it back. I didn't miss you, like, at all.”

Amy giggles some more, aware she doesn't mean it. “I'm just kidding Mommy, I _did _miss you. And I missed Daddy too.”__

__Letting out a low breath, Felicity enters the elevator and pushes the button for the parking garage before bending so she can allow Amy to stand, still unable to admit that she's getting heavy, but also unable to deny that carrying her for more than a couple of minutes is becoming a challenge. Oliver has no problem carrying her, and if he were around, her competitive side wouldn't have allowed her to show any weakness._ _

__“I know you miss him honey, and you know he's sorry he can't be at dinner tonight.” Felicity loops a fallen lock of hair behind Amy’s ear, taking her hand as the elevator dings and they make their way through the garage towards her car._ _

__“I know,” she says, her face downfallen and sad. Felicity sighs, not unfamiliar with the feeling of missing Oliver at the moment either. But he's been really busy, what with just recently becoming mayor and if she’s being honest, she's never been prouder. The Oliver she met years ago is so significantly different from the one she knows now, and she can't be sad that he's caught up with his responsibilities. Because though Amy misses her father and she misses her best friend, what he's doing is something she knows he's proud of too. That's really all she’s ever wanted for him._ _

__Felicity arrives at her car, buckling Amy into the backseat and then heading to the driver's seat. They're home in 20 minutes, the commute between her house and work something she'd made sure wasn't too long. During the car ride, Amy had stayed mostly quiet, even when she'd asked her how her day was. At some point she realizes that something else is bothering her as well._ _

__Not wanting to pressure her, Felicity doesn't ask, instead just heading up through the front door of her moderately large home, Amy leading the way. Her little hands drop her book bag on the floor of her playroom located off the side of the living area. She jumps into the sofa in front of the TV, reaching out for the remote before she stops, looking up sheepishly at her from where Felicity had been watching her. “Can I please please please watch TV?”_ _

__Felicity snickers, tossing off her heels as she finally walks into the room. “Unless we’ve entered an alternative universe where you watch TV before doing your homework, then no.”_ _

__Amy’s lips form a pout, puppy dog eyes on full display as she looks up at her. But Felicity isn't having any of it, “Hun, I'm not your Dad. That won't work on me.”_ _

__Despite her best efforts, a little laugh leaves Amy’s lips, and she shakes her head before muttering an “Okay,” then she heads towards the small table in her playroom and opens her book bag to take out her homework._ _

__With her focus on her assignments, Felicity takes off the blue blazer she had worn to work today, leaving herself in the patterned blouse and body fitting black skirt she'd had on underneath, then heads to the kitchen. Felicity cooking anything for dinner is a laughable idea, so she opens the refrigerator to choose one of the leftovers that Oliver had stored in there previously. With Amy’s mood in mind, she chooses the spaghetti and meatballs, mostly because it's her daughter’s favorite and also because she's craving it too._ _

__Sticking some into the microwave, Felicity checks on Amy before heading up stairs to change out her work clothes._ _

__Half an hour later after Amy’s done with her homework, the two of them settle around the dining table, the atmosphere around them noticeably quiet. Amy chews on her food, eyes strategically glancing towards Oliver’s empty chair every few minutes._ _

__“You know baby girl, he'll be back tomorrow for dinner, and then you'll have him all for yourself the whole the weekend,” Felicity offers, admittedly a little sad at seeing her miss him so much that she can't even enjoy some time with her alone. Oliver and herself always make sure they all have dinner together everyday, and though there has been times when one of them couldn't make it, it's the first time it's ever bothered her daughter this much. Whatever it is that has her down must really be something._ _

__“I know,” she goes quiet for a moment, seeming lost in thought before looking up at her, probably having decided it’s time to give her something. “Mommy, can I ask you a question?”_ _

__Finishing off her food, Felicity's eyes widen, not expecting her to open up just yet. She knows her daughter, knows that when something’s bothering her, it usually takes a couple hours before she just can't keep it in. Not wanting to discourage her though, Felicity says, “Sure Amy, you know you can ask me anything.”_ _

__“What's marriage?”_ _

__Felicity blanches, not expecting that. She goes over everything Oliver and herself has taught her, realizing that they hadn't really covered what marriage actually means. Sure, they'd used it in context, but actual definition, not so much. Oh how she wishes Oliver were here._ _

__Swallowing slowly, Felicity attempts, “Marriage is a union between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together,” she finishes, hoping that she hadn't said anything wrong._ _

__Amy runs the words over in her mind, and Felicity waits with bated breath for a million more questions to fall from her lips. But her daughter just nods, then continues eating, obviously satisfied with the answer. She knows by the way her eyes still flicker to Oliver’s chair that she still isn't 100% though._ _

__After watching an hour of TV with her, Amy starts to yawning every few seconds, and Felicity looks over at the clock on the side table to see that it's 8:30 pm, which indicates that it’s definitely time for her to go to bed._ _

__Shutting off the TV, she pulls her little body up, muttering “It's bedtime,” when Amy makes a noise in protest. They make their way upstairs and into Amy’s bedroom, and she follows her into the bathroom for a bath._ _

__Shortly after, they get settled into her bed and her baby girl picks a book for her to read a bedtime story from. Felicity is about a quarter way through the book when Amy’s voice interrupts her._ _

__“Mommy? When are you and Daddy going to get married?”_ _

__The question pushes Felicity’s mind into overdrive, her heartbeat increasing as panic sets into her bones. She doesn’t know how to answer this question without sending herself down the deep end, because for one, she could say the wrong thing and disappoint her daughter, or she could also say the wrong thing and give her false hope. Parenting a child with a man you’re not with but had a one night stand with once that resulted in said child is _hard _. Who would’ve thought?___ _

____“Amy, baby, you know Oliver and I aren’t together right? We’ve told you this.”_ _ _ _

____They’d made sure to explain their situation in minimal details to her as soon as she was old enough to at least grasp the meaning of their words, and although she’s still pretty young, she had inherited her brains. So when Oliver and herself had told her that they were raising her together, but not actually together a few months back, they weren’t surprised that she actually understood._ _ _ _

____Except now it turns out that maybe she didn’t._ _ _ _

____Her baby girl shifts in her position on her bed, cuddling closer to Felicity as she takes the book from her hand, no longer interested in the main character that longed to be a real boy. “But Alice from school said that her parents weren’t together before but now they are and getting married next year.” She finishes, then her lips wobble slightly and her eyes start to shine and Felicity’s heart absolutely aches for her. And then she gets why she'd been acting this way all night - though a part of her is glad she's finally opening up - gets why she'd asked what marriage meant._ _ _ _

____And then Felicity gets _it _.___ _ _ _

______Who wouldn’t want their parents to be in a loving relationship together? After her Dad had left, a tiny part of her still wanted him to come back and for things to go back to normal so that they could be a family again. And she knows that that’s what Amy wants, knows she sees actual families everyday and wonders why she can’t have that._ _ _ _ _ _

______There’s nothing in the world that she wants for more than the opportunity to give that to her, but she doesn’t know how._ _ _ _ _ _

______“People who get married love each other baby,” she says, bringing back her words from earlier before she swallows down the slight hurt she’s sure to feel when she says the next words, “and your Dad and I don’t feel that way about each other. But we feel that way about you. And we always will.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Amy nods her head, her wild brown curls shaking along with the movements. Felicity wraps her arms around her, pulling her on top of her before placing a kiss on the crown of her head. “Go to sleep my love.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Not long after, she hears the light snoring from Amy and gently removes herself from under her, clicking the light switch off before stealing one last glance at her sleeping angel._ _ _ _ _ _

______Padding softly to her room, she pushes the door open before going through her nightly routine to get ready for bed, with Amy’s question all the while running around in her head, which leads to a trip down memory lane involving one man in particular._ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver and her had met 6 years ago at a bar in Massachusetts. She was in her final year of MIT and he was on his final day at whatever college it was that’d he’d managed to get kicked out of. She didn’t go to that bar with the intention to hook up with anyone or anything like that but was just simply looking to lay off some steam._ _ _ _ _ _

______Then Oliver Queen dropped right into her lap. Literally._ _ _ _ _ _

______She’d found him attractive despite his hideous haircut and the next thing she knew they were going back to his place and she was sneaking out of his room in his frat house the next morning. She’d felt incredibly icky about the whole thing but wasn't too upset about it because at least she’d had a good time. A really good time._ _ _ _ _ _

______Fast forward a month and a half later, she’d found out she was pregnant with Amy and she was honestly at a loss for what she was going to do with her life. She’d never felt as alone as in that moment on her bathroom floor with the positive pregnancy test in her hand. She was about to graduate in 2 months, had already applied for multiple jobs and been guaranteed positions at almost all of them. She’d felt like it was the worse thing that had ever happened to her._ _ _ _ _ _

______But then she went to her doctor’s appointment where she was given an ultrasound and for the life of her she couldn’t make out the baby on the display screen, but it was in that moment that she’d considered the tiny life inside of her. The life that was half her… and then she just knew. It was the first time that she’d really fallen in love._ _ _ _ _ _

______She was so caught up in her baby bubble that afternoon that she hadn’t heard Oliver calling her name as she was leaving the hospital until he was literally right in front of her._ _ _ _ _ _

______With the black and white picture of her baby in her hands, she looked up and couldn’t help the shock that went through her at seeing him again. Throughout the entire ordeal, she hadn’t once thought about him, hadn’t once thought about the other person in the picture. The only thing that had been on her mind was her future and the future of the baby._ _ _ _ _ _

______But looking at him then, as his eyes were fixed on the image of her – their – child in her hand, she was overwhelmed once again at the thought of what him being or not being in the picture meant. He’d told her that he was at the hospital with his best friend after he’d just gotten out in a small car accident and then they talked._ _ _ _ _ _

______And like he’d been doing since the moment she met him, he’d surprised her._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was there._ _ _ _ _ _

______For everything._ _ _ _ _ _

______She knew that at first it was out of obligation, that he felt responsible for their unborn child because after all, they weren’t really friends. Sure, there was attraction there, and a mutual liking, but they had to push all of that aside. They had to put Amy first, she had to put Amy first. But then they became best friends, became each other’s confidants during her pregnancy and for the years leading up to this very day after._ _ _ _ _ _

______And she can’t help that the way she'd secretly missed Oliver today topped with the way that hurt she’d felt tonight at denying that he felt anything for her had both highlighted the fact that she feels more for him than she's ever admitted. But she'd always kept it to herself because it’s always going to be Amy first and as a result of that she can’t have what she really wants. Doesn’t even know if what she wants, wants her too._ _ _ _ _ _

______Trying to shake those less than happy thoughts from her mind, Felicity retrieves her laptop to try and get some work done. After a while, she loses herself in code like she always does, and it isn't until she glances to the clock on her nightstand does she realize how late it's gotten. She puts away her laptop, and slides her glasses off, before laying down on her bed._ _ _ _ _ _

______She’s just about to switch off the lights in her room to fall asleep when she hears the light buzz of her phone ringing on her night stand. She retrieves it, the ring tone alerting her that it’s Oliver before she’d even seen the caller ID._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Oliver,” she greets him, shifting up and settling against the headboard of her bed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi, sorry for calling so late,” he replies, his voice calming her in ways she’ll never understand. “Just wanted to remind you that I can’t drop off Amy tomorrow at school.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She nods her head, only vaguely aware that he can’t actually see her, “Yes, Oliver, I remember that you have a very important conference in Central City tomorrow, it's only the one thing you've talked about for days.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She can feel the playful annoyance towards her through the phone as he speaks, “Ha, ha. Very funny. I’m just trying to make sure you know. I don’t want you to think I forgot about Amy or something, especially after not making it tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Her heart absolutely melts. He’s such a good father, sometimes without even trying. “I know you’d never forget her. She, like myself, understands that her father being the mayor of Star City now means he’s a bit more busy.” She pauses, bracing herself for the conversation that’s sure to be an awkward one. “Uh, speaking of your daughter, she asked me something just now at bedtime that I figure I should give you a heads up of because I’m sure she’s going to ask you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He chuckles lightly, the amusement clear in his voice as he asks, “What crazy thing did she ask this time?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh you know. Only when are you and I going to get married.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity is met with a loud bang and the sound of scrambling on the other line of the phone. After a short moment, the sounds stop and she hears Oliver clear his throat multiple times before he speaks into the phone once again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Uh, and uh, what’d… what’d you tell her?” he asks, stumbling over his words a few times._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, since we already spoke to her, I just told her the truth.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And what’s the truth Felicity?” his voice echoes, stronger now than a moment ago._ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity blows out a breath, sinking down in her bed as she wipes a hand over her face. She really doesn’t want to talk about this._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That only people that love each other get married.” She faintly hears the quick intake of breath from the other line, but she doesn’t know what that means. He can't possibly feel that way about her, could he?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oliver, come on. You said 2 minutes,” a feminine voice drawls from the background of Oliver’s phone. The pang she feels in her heart at the implications of her words absolutely shakes her. Is that a girlfriend? He hadn’t told her about any girlfriend, but it’s late, so why else would a woman be around him at this hour unless they’re doing something more?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I uh, I have to go, but thanks for giving me a heads up. See you tomorrow after I get back from Central City.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She barely whispers a farewell before hanging up the phone and tossing it on the side table then clicking off the lamp beside her, basking the room into darkness as she shuts her eyes, trying desperately to shut out her feelings as well._ _ _ _ _ _

______She shouldn’t be feeling this way. They’ve both dated people over the years, both been in lengthy relationships even though none of them have lasted past a year. But, it’s been a while that he’s seen anyone and she didn’t realize it until now that a small part of her was hopeful. Hopeful, for… them._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stupid hope._ _ _ _ _ _

______Even if the woman in the background doesn’t mean anything, it’s good that she learns, learns for good that she can’t pursue anything with Oliver. There’s too much at stake and too much to lose if things go wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______Now, if only she could stop being in love with the father of her daughter, that’d be great._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______***_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“So, basically, if you think you can fix this, I think we could have this thing in hospitals within a month,” Alena finishes, tossing off the blue gloves that had been on her hands. Felicity observes the prototype before her, her brain working in overdrive to solve the problem that Alena had presented her with._ _ _ _ _ _

______This particular piece of tech should be able to literally fuse bone which would allow for same day fracture repair with no cast or little to no recovery time needed. The machine had been in its final day of production, but a few faults had come up, which is why Alena had asked for her help yesterday._ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity studies the wiring for a few more minutes, and after running over the variables on the computer before her, she's able to spot the inadequate wiring within it. After fixing it, she tells Alena to run the program again, watching as it works like it should._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her employee/friend's impressed laughter breaks her from tech bubble and she glances over at her, the confusion clear on her face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Alena shakes her head in amazement, “Felicity Smoak, you are a genius,” she runs her hand over the tech, “it took me two days trying to figure out what was wrong and I wasn't able to… it just took you 15 minutes to figure it out and fix it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Smiling bashfully, Felicity crosses her arms over her chest, “Tech has always been my thing. It's always been easy for me, so I'd say don't beat yourself up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Her friend continues, “Oh I'm not beating myself up, I'm just impressed and slightly turned on, is all.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity ducks her head as she laughs, trying to cover the blush caused by Alena’s bluntness. When her eyes catch the time on her watch, she hurries to rid herself of the gloves on her hands, “Just run a few more procedures then we'll have Marketing and PR have a look at it okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Alena nods, her focus already on the tech before her. Felicity dashes from the room, heading to the elevator to take her up to the top floor where her office is located._ _ _ _ _ _

______As soon as she arrives, she looks over at Jessica, question poised on her lips, but Jessica, like she always does, is already speaking before she gets the chance to, “They're in your office Ms. Smoak, and have been for 20 minutes. Also, PR ran the project partnership on the news a couple minutes ago.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Without stopping, Felicity whispers, “Thanks for the heads up Jessica,” before heading inside her office._ _ _ _ _ _

______When Felicity steps inside, the first thing her eyes land on is the broad, muscular - even through his white dress shirt - expanse of Oliver’s back. He has Amy in his arms where he's standing by the floor to ceiling glass windows. Amy’s fingers are pointed at something outside, and her little voice travels over to where Felicity is leaning against the door as she watches them._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And what's that?” she asks, looking over at her father curiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That's a crane,” Oliver answers, voice warming her up from all the way across the room. She desperately wants to hear him say her name, that sweet way he always does and to have his ocean blue eyes on her skin, but she also doesn't want to ruin the moment. So she stays where she is._ _ _ _ _ _

______Tilting her head in a way that Oliver says reminds him of herself, Amy questions him further, “What do cranes do?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She doesn't even have to see his face to know there's a devious grin on his lips as he suddenly dips Amy, her giggles rising a decibel the lower he dips her, “Well they dig stuff up,” he says, then he lifts her back up and moves over to the couch, tossing her on it carefully. He watches as she giggles uncontrollably before finishing, “And then they throw them away.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Deciding that now is a good time to make her presence known, Felicity steps inside, her heels beating a rhythm on the marble floors, “I didn't know I left two children in here.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Two heads snap towards her, and the smiles she's greeted with are the cherry on top of an already amazing day. Amy sits up on the couch, hands on top as she places her chin on it, “Daddy’s not a child mommy, he's, like, old.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey!” he exclaims, eyes locking with Amy’s in betrayal._ _ _ _ _ _

______Attempting to stop the laughter pouring from her lips, Felicity supplies, “No, you're right baby girl. He's ancient.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shaking his head at both of them, Oliver steps towards her until there's only a few inches of space between them. She tries her best to act unaffected. “You're not helping, at all.” and then his entire body is surrounding her in a welcoming hug. His arms are wrapped around her waist, and like she always does, she feels small, but safe and protected within his hold. They sway for a bit, and she feels as if there's nowhere else she should be but in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ultimately, she's the one that pulls away because her mind, like the traitor it is, reminds her of all the reasons she shouldn't be enjoying his touch as much as she is in this moment. The main one being that just last night he might've been with a woman. She swallows her hurt, not even looking at him as she goes over to Amy, wrapping her arms around her in a hug as well. Stepping towards her desk, she gathers her things once more, marking the end of another successful day here._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are we ready to head to my place?” Felicity asks, finally settling her eyes on Oliver again. He's looking at her calculatingly, like he's trying to solve the puzzle that is her, but a moment later he shakes his head, picking up his briefcase with one hand and grabbing Amy’s hand in the other as he helps her from the couch._ _ _ _ _ _

______Once she's on her feet, he replies, “We're ready.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______With Felicity holding Amy’s left hand, and Oliver holding her right, they make their way out of her office, all of them wishing Jessica a good day as they leave._ _ _ _ _ _

______The car ride to her house is the opposite of the one yesterday, filled with the joyous laughter of their daughter as she excitedly tells them about her day. Oliver fills them in on his boring meetings in Central City, basically saying that the highlight of his day was picking up Amy from school._ _ _ _ _ _

______When they arrive, Oliver heads to the kitchen to start dinner and Amy begs to watch TV, only this time she allows it because it's a Friday. At some point she hears his phone ringing from where she's settled on the couch with Amy, and her mind traitorously supplies once more that he's talking to the woman from last night. She's distracted shortly after when Amy loops her into the kids show they're watching, however._ _ _ _ _ _

______A half hour later, Oliver calls for dinner, and when they settle around the dining table, she can tell something happened._ _ _ _ _ _

______She's unsure of what it is, but she guesses that it's about the woman, only - and though he's trying to hide it - he keeps looking at her as if she murdered his cat or something. Her confusion grows, but so does her anger because how dare he be angry at her? She hasn't done anything. Or at least she doesn't think she has._ _ _ _ _ _

______Amy, for the most part, doesn't notice the tension around her, happily eating and chatting away because she's surrounded by her mom and dad, her two favorite people._ _ _ _ _ _

______After dinner, with Amy back in front of the TV, Felicity heads to the kitchen to do the dishes like she always does. Oliver volunteers to help, something that isn't entirely odd because he's done it a couple times before. Only the atmosphere is stifled with the unsaid words that he's keeping inside._ _ _ _ _ _

______Having had enough, Felicity places down the soapy dish and wipes her hand before turning towards him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If there's something you want to say to me Oliver, say it. You're driving me insane.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver’s jaw works in irritation before he turns towards her as well, drying cloth forgotten._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you know who Adrian Chase is?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The question throws her off because that is not at all where she thought this was going, but then she only grows more confused because now she really has no clue what this is about._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes…” she begins slowly, eyes carefully watching his reactions, “current CEO of Kord Industries.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And Smoak Tech’s current partner.” Oliver adds angrily, as if that's enough of a reason to be mad at her. She figures that's what the phone call was about._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Project partner,” she corrects, not entirely sure why the distinction matters but saying it anyway._ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver sighs, the disappointment and anger mixed so perfectly in the one exhale of air._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Am I missing something here?” she asks when he doesn't say anything, her frustration about to reach its peak._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Chase was my opposition for Mayor, Felicity, you know this!” he's kept his voice surprisingly low, mindful of Amy in the next room._ _ _ _ _ _

______And… okay, yeah she knew this. But she hadn't thought it was a big deal. Chase is only the CEO for a short while. His uncle, Ted Kord had recently passed away and he'd taken over until the Board could find someone better fit, though Chase isn't a bad Chief Executive Officer. Kord Industries is one of the leading technological companies in the world currently. She wouldn't say they were better overall, but their advancements in hardware creation and debugging is currently superior to hers, something she hopes to change soon. However, like she's mentioned earlier, them partnering in her project now could be saving lives sooner. Her company has made strides in the software component of the pseudo prototype of the chip that had been paused in development. The aim of the invention is to reverse nerve damage, and to even go as far as reversing paralysis as well._ _ _ _ _ _

______And now with the Kord’s hardware, she could see it actually coming to fruition._ _ _ _ _ _

______So, yeah, she knew Oliver wasn't his biggest fan, but she would've thought that he wouldn't need for her to explain to him why this is so important to her. “You do know what this partnership could mean for the world right? I've told you what the chip could do. Chase- Kord Industries is just a step to reaching this goal, Oliver.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver turns his head away from her, obviously at a war with what he knows is the truth and whatever else it is he's convinced himself of. “Can't you just wait until Chase isn't CEO anymore? He's not a good person Felicity. He'll take credit for all your work.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Huffing out a irritated breath, Felicity takes a step closer towards him, not realizing that he had too, “Wait? Oliver I can't wait. The only reason we got an agreement is because of Chase. Ted Kord wouldn't even accept a meeting with me while he was alive. As for him taking all the credit, this isn't grade school. This is real life, with laws, and legal restrictions and consequences. If he even thinks about crossing that line with me, he'll regret it for the rest of his life.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver’s Adam apple bobs within his throat and her eyes follow the movement, taking in the trickle of sweat that slides down his throat as well. She has a serious inclination to lick it dry but she keeps her tongue within her mouth, her heart beating a staccato within her chest. Oliver breathes out, and the air fans out across her face, his closeness obvious but neither one of them doing anything about it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity swallows and she knows Oliver’s eyes follow the movement too. “And of course you're going to think Chase is a bad guy, he was your opposition. But the Adrian I met today is sweet and charming. Qualities you're lacking right now.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oliver’s nostrils flare angrily, and instead of stepping back, instead of putting some distance between them, he steps impossible closer, the tips of her breasts brushing against his chest. His voice is rough and undeniably sexy when he speaks, the quiet betrayal evident, “This is a conflict of interest, Felicity.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity laughs, the sound dry and unamused, before bringing a hand up to push a lock of hair behind her hair. Her hand brushed against his abdomen, and she swears she hears Oliver let out a minuscule moan. Ignoring that for now, Felicity adds, “I'm not your wife, and I'm not your girlfriend. There's no conflict of interest here. I'm just trying to make people's lives better.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______His entire body droops as the angry tension leaves his body, and she sees his hand reach up to touch her face before he thinks better of it and drops it once more. “You're supposed to be on my side.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______A loud exhale leaves her lips, and she looks into his eyes, wanting complete honesty when she asks her next question._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Because…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mommy? Daddy? Are you done? I wanna watch TV with you guys,” Amy interrupts from the hallway._ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity steps back immediately, turning towards the dishes to finish her task. Out of the corner of her eyes she sees Oliver turn to finish his as well. Amy enters the kitchen, oblivious to what she'd almost walked in on and addresses her mother first._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you okay mommy?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Felicity glances towards Oliver. Their eyes meet, and she's afraid of what she sees there, doesn't want to put a name to it because it can't possibly be real. So she clears her throat, places a smile on her face and turns to her daughter._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mommy’s fine, my angel.”_ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Amy spend the weekend together all while his confrontaion with Felicity weighs heavy on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I would just first like to express my gratitude to anyone that conveyed their enjoyment of the first chapter! It truly means the world to me.
> 
> I'd like to also note that this is the format that this story will take: a opening flashback and a switch between Oliver and Felicity's POV for each chapter.
> 
> enough talk, ENJOY!

Six Years Ago - Star City

 

“Did you know that some women lactate during late pregnancy at the sound of another baby crying?” 

Oliver turns his gaze towards Felicity at the sound of her voice, momentarily preoccupied with the ball of nerves taking up residence within the pit of his stomach before shaking the fog from his mind and concentrating a second later on what she'd just asked. “I did not,” he answers honestly after thinking on it.

Felicity doesn't respond, eyes remaining fixed on the thick layered pregnancy book before her while her thumb attaches once more between her teeth, nibbling frantically on her nail. Her blue eyes trace over the words as she takes in the printed text on the page she's currently on. She doesn't seem to have even heard him, which will make it the third time since they've been sitting here that she’s done this.

Her knee bounces up and down in a way he knows she's unaware of, the jitters she's feeling running haywire within her body. He doesn't know nearly enough about her to really be aware if this is how she always acts when she’s anxious, but he supposes with their current location in mind, it wouldn't be a far fetched assumption. The plastic chair squeaks awkwardly under him as he shifts his position, looking up and over at the receptionist’s desk, his impatience for them to call her name growing quicker by the minute.

Groaning in quiet disappointment when the lady at the desk just yawns and continues her not so secret game of solitaire on her computer, Oliver settles back into his previous spot, glancing at the 2 other people seated in the waiting area with them. Apart from the murmuring between the obviously pregnant woman and her partner sitting before him, the only other sound that fills the space is the buzz of the air conditioning unit and the dripping from the water cooler next to him.

Oliver looks back at Felicity, the purple coat around her shoulders doing wonders in covering up her 4 months pregnant belly. Her glasses begin to slip down her nose, and she lifts a finger up to push it back into place before she continues reading. She'd been commenting out loud on things she'd found interesting since they had arrived, asking him if he knew this or that about particular things throughout the pregnancy period.

He prides himself on knowing 2 out of the now three that she has asked so far, with credit given to the books that he’s been reading since he found out she was pregnant. The things he knows now are not things that he would have ever seen himself knowing 5 months ago, but he'd also never thought he would be becoming a father at 22 either. And as he takes in his surroundings once more, eyes glancing over the word OBGYN on a tag by the receptionist’s desk, it's obvious now that things can change it one night, or even in one hospital visit.

Felicity’s chair squeaks as she shifts and she unconsciously reaches a hand up to her neck to rub it in discomfort. Apart from the slight anger he feels at this place for not having more appropriate seating arrangements, the helplessness that always rushes throughout his body whenever she shows signs of pain makes itself known.

Ever since she has become a permanent part of his life, he's felt like he's been hovering around her, not really sure how to help or how to even offer it. With him now basically turning into a stable fixture on her couch, he's been feeling more like a stander by than an actual variable within their shared predicament. The more he’s thought about it though, the more he’s realized that it has to do with the fact that he doesn’t know how to define his role in her life. And because he doesn't know what he is to her, he's at a loss for how he's suppose to extend a helpful hand when she's in need of it.

The last time he'd helped her was 2 weeks ago when morning sickness had passed over her unexpectedly - them having thought that she was over that. She'd been puking up a storm in the bathroom attached to her bedroom and without thinking he'd went in and held her hair back. When she was done, the embarrassment she'd felt was palpable, and he'd realized a little while after that it was something that someone you were close with would do for you.

Her discomfort had made him even more unsure, and it hasn't changed at all in the time since. But Felicity has been too busy to really notice, the freelancing that she's doing taking up most of her time now that she has settled on making that a more lasting endeavor. She'd decided to not take any of the jobs she was offered after graduating from college because in a few months time she'd have to take time off anyway. She's good at what she does, like really really good, her expertise something that's highly sought after by companies and businesses of all variations. So though she's expressed that it's not what she wants to be doing with her life, the money that she earns allows for her to fulfill her basic needs.

He feels a bit of jealousy at her for knowing what it is that she wants for herself and for having that thing that she loves. He doesn't have that, and doesn't know if he ever will. And to top it all off, his parents have been not quite accepting of decision to stand by Felicity. His mother is his mother - cold, calculating and distrustful. She'd made it no secret that she doesn't think Felicity is being truthful, and that she doesn't want him to take responsibility for something that could possibly not be his. His father, however, is more nonchalant about it, and he chalks it up to the fact that he'd always expected him to fuck up his life completely at one point in time.

Despite his mother's words, his father's disappointment and even his own fear and inexperience at acting like an actual adult, he’d believed Felicity from the very beginning - though he's unsure why - and he's committed himself to finally taking responsibility for his actions. And he knows it's mostly because it isn't just his life that’s being affected, but Felicity’s and their unborn baby's as well.

Not wanting a constant reminder that he's ‘making the wrong choice here’ he'd been avoiding his parents and somehow convinced Felicity that he'd be of more use if he was there with her everyday, which is how he ended up on her couch. Except he hasn't actually been any help, and although at first he thought it would just come to him, he still doesn't know how to be.

“Bet you didn’t you know that babies cry in the womb,” Felicity’s voice whispers again. She still hasn't removed her gaze from the book, too caught up with what she's reading to actually look at him. He thinks about what she says though and words are leaving his mouth before he has a chance to hold them back.

“Okay but that's actually really funny.”

Her ponytail whips around her shoulder as she finally turns her gaze towards him, confusion causing her brows to crinkle. “What's so funny about babies crying in the womb?”

Oliver only tenses slightly before relaxing when he realizes that she isn't angry but rather just curious as to what he means. For some reason, his body moves closer to hers in his seat next to her as he opens his mouth to give an explanation.

“Well, one of the few things I knew about babies before all this was that for the first months of their lives, all they do is poop, sleep and cry. They're normally experts at it and now we know why. It's because they've been practising.”

Oliver watches as Felicity tries to keep her amusement from her face. Her lips purse in an attempt to hold in her laughter and her eyes shine with mirth. Taking the obviously lighter mood around them in stride, Oliver adds, “Can you just imagine their little face in there - all scrunched up and crying for absolutely no reason.”

A snort leaves Felicity’s lips and before he knows it her laughter fills up the air around them, causing the 2 heads in the room to turn in their direction. He ignores them, instead keeping his attention on the giddiness surrounding both Felicity and himself. Her knee has stopped bouncing in nervousness and her thumb now acts as a page holder between the leafs of the book as she closes it.

A moment later when her laughter has passed, but the smile stays fixed on her lips, she lifts her coat from off her middle, revealing the black shirt she's wearing underneath and the swell of her stomach. She places the book on her lap after leaving a dog ear on the page and then she runs her hands over her belly in comfort. “I actually thought it was quite sad, but your point of view is pretty nice.”

Oliver, however, is unable to sway his gaze from her stomach. It's not big, but it's not small either, and it's impossible now to deny that she is pregnant. In that moment though, it all feels so real. Seeing her hands run over the swell, the image of their child forms in his head and his want to run his hands over it as well - to feel it, grows faster than he's ever felt it before. His unsurety from before returns and because he’s been held back by his inability to define what his role is, he's never actually touched her stomach - the place where his child grows. He's seen it bare a handful of times, but just like now, he's kept his hands to himself.

Unlike those times before though, something just feels different. The want is stronger, the urge to protect and keep safe is more defined and it feels like it runs through his blood stream.

When he finally lifts his gaze from the swell of her belly back to her eyes, he finds that she's already looking at him, the crinkle between her eyebrows present once more. He opens his mouth to say something, what that is, he doesn't really know, but he snaps it shut when her features smooth out and he spots the new expression on her face.

She's looking at him like she's seeing something for the first time. A small smile spreads on her lips and she shifts slightly towards him as well.

“You can feel it if you want to, you know that right?”

Oliver’s heart stops for a moment before speeding up again, the shock that runs through him at her words leaving him stunned for a few seconds. He doesn't know how she figured it out, but he guesses longingly staring at her stomach probably provided her with a good inclination. After clearing his throat a few times, Oliver attempts, “Are- are you sure?”

Instead of answering though, Felicity grabs ahold of his hand where it had been resting on his thigh. Goosebumps run along his arm but he ignores it in favor of watching her every movement. With his wrist in her hand, she pulls on his arm until his touch meets the warmth of her stomach, and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he swallows heavily.

It’s… not at all what he'd been expecting. Though he's not really sure of what that was. It's soft, but solid and real and there. He keeps his touch feather light and gentle as he moves his hand around and he can't help the fascinated laughter that breaks from his lips. He feels like he's floating somehow, like there's no solid ground beneath him, but the only thing that's keeping him tethered to the earth is this little miracle and the woman carrying it.

“I want you to know that you don't have to be afraid to help me or anything like that. Back home, I was so used to things just being me and my mom, and then being at college it was just me so I had no one to depend on. If I was giving off vibes that I didn't want your help, then I'm sorry. It just took awhile for me accept that you're apart of this as well. It's your child too, Oliver. So if you want to touch it, please feel free.”

Felicity’s conviction is palpable and he's nodding before she's even finished. He doesn't know when he became so eager for this, but he doesn't question it, partly because the guy he was a few months back and still kind of is are nothing like the kind of guy he wants to be for this child now.

“Only if you're comfortable with it,” he says, retracting his hand from her stomach and pretending like it isn't one of the hardest things he's ever done.

Smile now a permanent fixture on her lips, Felicity offers, “Trust me, I am.”

“You two make such an adorable couple.” Both of their heads snap up at the sound of the voice before them. It's the pregnant woman sitting with her partner that had said this, and if he's seeing right, she seems to be crying for some reason.

Her partner speaks up, tucking a blonde lock of hair behind her ear as she does so, “You’ll have to excuse my girlfriend. She's in her third trimester and she cries for literally everything.”

Felicity chuckles lightly and Oliver skips over the thought that that'll be Felicity in a couple months, “It's fine. I totally get it. Uh, but we’re not a couple. He's my friend, who you know, knocked me up… which you probably didn't need to know.”

The two women across from them laugh shortly before the pregnant one continues on once more, “Well, you two make such an adorable couple of friends.” After her girlfriend admonishes her for teasing them and they make their apologies, they go back into their own bubble.

One sentence in particular circles Oliver’s mind though and he can't help but voice it a second after Felicity pulls the coat over her middle again.

“We're friends?”

Felicity looks over at him and studies his features before giving him a nod, “Yeah, we’re friends.”

It's really all he needs if he's being honest. Oliver settles back into the squeaky chair, smile on his lips, purpose filling his body. With her little speech just now and her confirmation that they are friends, his head feels clearer than it has in months. He doesn't necessarily have anything figured out, but at least now he knows how to go about doing so. He feels like his role has been defined, at least a little.

“Ms. Smoak? Mrs. Robinson is ready for you in Room 4.”

After helping her up, he follows Felicity to the room for her ultrasound, hand lightly pressed to the small of her back all the while.

 

**

 

Present Day - Star City

When Oliver stirs awake on Saturday morning, it's to Amy’s hair tickling his face, only realizing after shaking off his sleepy haze that she’d somehow found her way into his bed during the night. His internal clock always wakes him up at 6 am, so after brushing a kiss on her forehead and lightly easing himself off the bed, he jumps into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Dressed in a black Henley and worn blue jeans, Oliver heads down to his kitchen, checking to see that Amy’s still sleeping before doing so. When he arrives downstairs, he realizes that he and Amy had left the place quite a mess last night after he’d built them a fort, so he goes about tidying it up. As soon as he's done with that, he busies himself with brewing a cup of black coffee, all the while trying desperately to keep a certain someone from flooding his thoughts.

Deciding on blueberry pancakes for breakfast, Oliver begins the task of putting together the ingredients and preparing his daughter's ‘favorite food of all time that won't ever change.’ Her words, not his.

Once he's on his last batch, he starts feeling his pockets for his phone only to realize when he comes up empty that he hadn't brought it down with him. He's not too worried about it though because he doesn't think anyone needs him right this moment at almost 8 in the morning except for the 5 year old taking up residence in his bed. Though he doesn’t mind that, only partly because there certainly hasn't been anyone else to fill it so he's glad for the company and the cuddles.

Oliver quickly eats a stack before cleaning up most of the small mess he’d made. Then with a plate stacked with 2 pancakes and far too much syrup balanced in one hand, and a glass of apple juice held in the other, Oliver makes his way back upstairs to his bedroom. But when he enters, he doesn't see Amy on the bed. In fact, he doesn't see her in the room at all.

Placing down the pancakes and juice on the night table, his brows furrow in confusion and slight worry as he bends down to look under the bed, thinking maybe she's playing with him. But all his eyes meet is the empty floor beneath his bed frame.

On his legs once more, Oliver yells, “Amy, where are you?” He doesn't hear any movement in the bathroom so he doesn't think that's where she is, which means she's no longer in his room.

He steps back outside into the hallway, still being met with silence when he tries to listen for any sign of her. Opening his mouth, he tries again, a little louder this time. “Amelia Smoak-Queen, where are you? I'm not playing around.”

As he's about to enter her bedroom, he finally makes out the pitter patter of her tiny feet on the hardwood floors the moment she reaches the door and opens it, a devious little smile shining up at him.

“You were supposed to find me, Daddy.”

Matching her grin, Oliver crosses his arms over his chest, “Well I did, didn't I?”

Mouth forming a ‘O’, Amy follows him back inside his room, disbelief at his foul play evident in the betrayed way she's looking at him. He reaches under her arms and picks her up before placing her on the mattress then setting the food before her, not usually one to allow her to eat in bed, but feeling like he owes her after not being able to see her for almost 2 days this week because of his trip to Central City.

“That's cheating,” she says, stubbornly not digging in right away because he knows she's waiting to be told that she's in the right and he did in fact cheat. But she did get half her stubbornness from him.

“It's not cheating if  **you** were the one who fell for it. You could've stayed hidden.”

Amy’s wild brown curls bounce around as she shakes her head, “You used angry Daddy voice. That's cheating!”

“It’s just me using everything to my advantage, nugget. You can't knock me if you didn't do the same,” he finishes, hardly able to keep the amusement from his face. Having come to some sort of decision, Amy picks up the plate, ready to devour her breakfast.

“I'm telling Mommy on you.”

Oliver swallows, not because he's weary of her light heartened threat, but because she'd mentioned the one person he's been trying his best since he woke up not to think about.

Felicity’s smiling face pops up in his mind like it always does, but it quickly changes into the image of her from last night - angry, hurt and confused. After the way he acted, he still feels like absolute shit, even after she’d shaken it of and said it was all fine as he was leaving with Amy for her scheduled weekend with him. He'd overreacted and said things he'd never thought he would say to her. He knows it’s because his emotions were running high, but that's no excuse. He'd wanted to say that much to her, but he could tell by the way that she had closed off that it wasn't something she wanted to discuss further.

After receiving the phone call from Mckenna, his Deputy Mayor, saying snarkily that she didn't want to be apart of his family drama before eventually telling him after his prompting that his previous opposition was now in business with Smoak Technologies, he'd felt hurt that it was something he had to find out by someone else and not Felicity. His hurt had quickly turned to anger and he's aware now that the anger had caused his thoughts to accuse her of things he knows she'd never do. He trusts her implicitly with everything, especially his life, but it'd always been Chase that he’d deemed untrustworthy. He’d just gotten all of that mixed up last night.

Oliver doesn't touch on the fact that he'd almost admitted more to her than he's ever been brave enough to.

He watches quietly as Amy finishes her meal, unsurprisingly making a mess of the syrup as it sticks to her face and hands, a few drops visible on her PJs. After helping her down from the bed, he directs her to her bathroom while he runs downstairs to get rid of the dishes before heading back up to help her with her morning bath.

While Amy’s picking out her outfit for the day, he finally attempts to retrieve his phone, only noticing when he clicks on the home button that he hadn't even charged it last night so it had died. Quickly connecting it to the charger by his bed, Oliver gives it a few seconds before turning it back on.

A minute later his phone begins buzzing with a plethora of missed calls and messages, mostly from unknown numbers but quite a few from the office, his mother, Thea… and Felicity. Clicking open Felicity’s first, it all reads a variety of messages asking where he is and telling him to answer the phone before the last one reads that she didn't mean for any of this to happen and that he probably shouldn't read today's gossip column.

His skin heats up in fear because what could this possibly be? It has to be bad, seeing that he has a handful of notifications from what he's now guessing is news outlets. A thought flies into his mind and he moves to the large glass windows opposite of him to peer down at the driveway of his home, confirming that there are indeed 2 news vans parked outside, though not from a reputable news outlet, probably awaiting his exit. How he'd missed that, he doesn't know, but it seems to be a recurring theme this morning.

Quickly grabbing the remote to turn on the TV in his room that he never uses, he stands a few feet away from it as he surfs through the channels until he arrives at a known local gossip programme, catching the end of the host’s words as she updates her viewers.

“--Keep in mind that Ms. Smoak and Mr. Queen were speculated to be in a relationship but had never confirmed or denied it. This turn of events certainly shines some light on the situation, however. With the new partnership between CEO Adrian Chase and Ms. Smoak, a journalist received an inside anonymous tip that there's more to their partnership than just business. Now, whether that means Ms. Smoak is intentionally with Kord’s CEO - who was the opposition at this year's mayoral elections - out of spite to Mr. Mayor, is up to the audience's and viewers’ interpretations.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Oliver stutters out, honestly stunned at what he'd just heard. He'd always known that this city thrives on scandal, but actually spinning everything like this is a new low. He skips over to an actual news channel, letting out a relieved breath when he sees that they're reporting actual news and not whatever it is that people have turned Felicity’s partnership into.

Deep down though, he knows that if he'd heard this last night in the state he was in, he would've believed every word. It's certainly not a nice thing to realize.

And though he knows that most of this is just speculation, he can't deny that he doesn't know himself either if there's anything going on between Felicity and Adrian. She  **did** call him sweet and charming. Just like that though, a bit of his anger and frustrations returns because she'd never think that if she knew the things this man has said and implied about her.

What he does know is that Felicity would never betray him, even if he didn't act as much last night. So he pushes whatever feeling he has about the situation aside.

Not wanting to dwell on the relationship between her and Chase any longer, Oliver shuts the TV off, clicking through his messages to see if any of them are of  _ actual _ importance. He messages Felicity first, telling her that it's okay and that he needs to speak with her - knowing that he has to make an attempt to apologize to her. She replies a few seconds later saying that they'll talk when she comes to pick Amy up tomorrow.

He clicks through his mother's messages next, which is just her telling him to call her. He decides he'll wait til later on to fulfill her request because he really isn't looking forward to a lecture on not jumping to conclusions.

He does the same for the office, telling his assistant to let everyone now that all is fine and that he'll get back to them on Monday.

Walking over to Amy’s room, he sticks his head in through her door as he presses the call button on Thea’s name. He finds Amy sitting on the floor and playing with a fake screwdriver and a fake cellular phone, something that would've been weird had she not been Felicity Smoak’s child. “Nugget, let's head downstairs.”

Her little head flies around to the sound of his voice before she stands and approaches the door, “Okay!” she agrees right as Thea picks up on the phone.

“Took you long enough,” his sister greets, and he can just imagine the eye roll she's giving him.

“Good morning to you too, Speedy,” Oliver offers sweetly, trailing behind his daughter before they both eventually settle on the couch in the living room, Amy finding her morning cartoons on the TV in record time.

“When are you going to stop calling me that? Anyways, that's not the point. Did you see what those gossip columns are saying?” she asks after getting back on track.

Glancing over at Amy to make sure her full attention is on the TV, Oliver speaks quietly into the phone, “I did, and it's all a bit ridiculous.”

He can hear the not so quiet sigh of relief that Thea lets out, “So you're not angry then?”

“Of course I am. Those people don't know what they're talking about.”

“I meant at Felicity,” she corrects, and his confusion flares, especially because she sounded so relieved. He doesn't know why because he hadn't told her about what happened between them last night and if anyone knows not the believe what the media says, it's Thea, so she couldn't actually have fallen for their ‘speculations’.

“Why would I be?” he questions carefully in an attempt to draw her out.

“Because you hate Adrian Chase for some reason. And every man that comes in close contact with Felicity because you're in love with her and also  _ because _ you're in love with her, sometimes you don't think straight,” she states matter of factually, similarly to how someone would say the sky is blue.

She's not wrong though.

“Could you keep your voice down?” he asks instead of denying it, way past that at this point.

“I'm in my car on my way over. There's no one else here. Your secret’s still safe with me, you big dweeb.”

It's his turn to sigh in relief, and he begins to fill her in on their current situation at her reminder that she's coming over. “By the way, there's 2 news vans outside and though that's not a lot, I say we cancel going to the park today. People are going to be in our faces and I'd rather not have Amy in the middle of that, especially with Diggle on day off.”

At the mention of the park and her name, Amy’s attention snaps to him, protest poised on her lips. He holds a finger up, motioning for her to wait. Thea, however, is in agreement, “Yeah, I think so too. It doesn't matter though. I just want to see my favorite niece. And don't think I didn't see how you deflected off topic just now.”

Wincing slightly at being caught, Oliver adds, “Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you about what happened when you get here. How long will that be by the way?”

“About 15 minutes- wait! Something  _ else _ happened?”

“I'll see you in a few Speedy,” he ignores.

“Hey!” her words are lost as he presses the end button.

As soon as the phone moves from his ear, Amy’s on his case, obviously upset about her day in the park being canceled. “How come we're not going to the park anymore?” the pout on her lips make an appearance and they highlight that self deprecating feeling he gets whenever he has to deny her the things he'd promised her.

Bringing her onto his lap, he tips her chin up to ensure that she's hearing and understanding what he's about to say next. “You remember those strange men and women with the cameras and microphones that mommy and I told you never to talk to?”

Amy nods her head after a second of thinking on it. He goes on, “Well, after some news about your mother’s company last night, they're eager to talk to me and her so they're outside and they'll likely follow us anywhere we go. You don't want them to ruin your day at the park do you?”

Amy’s eyes shift towards the door, then they move around the entire room, obviously weighing the pros and cons. Eventually, she let's a small smile slip on her face, and it reminds him so much of Felicity’s. “Staying inside isn't so bad. I can show Aunt Thea my new drawings! And we can build the fort again! But bigger,  so that she'll fit!” Her eyes get wider the more she comes up with different ideas, and soon he's being bossed around as he goes about building the fort once more.

When Thea arrives 20 minutes later, Amy’s the one to greet her at the door, jumping into her arms with a warm hug.

“My favorite niece!” Thea says lovingly, closing the door behind her as she steps in and sets Amy on her feet once more.

His daughter giggles slightly, shaking her head as she adds happily, “Silly, I'm your  **only** niece.”

Thea glances up at him, mischievous grin planted on her face once Amy’s back is to her. “Are you though?”

“Anyways,” Oliver says rather loudly in an effort to divert Amy’s attention to him before she can ask Thea what she said, “you want anything to eat Speedy?”

“No, I'm good,” teasing smile still present on her lips. He pulls her in for a hug all the while shaking his head at her, matching smile breaking out on his face.

Amy, Thea and himself spend the day hanging out, doing various activities at his daughter’s request. Neither him or his sister have any qualms about it though, so they go along with her every demand to play ‘space commander’, ‘CEO Amy saves the world’ - among others that he knows she's making up as she goes along - especially because she'd been denied the day at the park.

Spending time with her is his favorite pastime in the world, and he's grateful for the weekends with his nugget. He and Felicity had come up with a schedule as soon as she started school, and though it had taken some adjustment, they'd grown used to it. Only now with him being Mayor, it's taking away some time with her… and with Felicity. He likes his job, and he'd worked hard for it, but sometimes he wonders if it's even worth it if it's going to take time away from the people he loves.

Thea is another person that he hasn't seen it a while, but that isn't because of his job but rather because she's in second year at university - which is why she had to drive down to come see him. She'd always said when she was younger that she wanted to go into fashion, but he hadn't known that she was serious about it. And he knows that she pursued it in part because of Amy, reason being that that’s just the effect she has on people. His whole life changed because of her, and he knows that if she hadn't been in the picture, he'd be nothing like the man he is today and he would've been a not very good influence on his little sister.

At about 3 in the afternoon, Amy crashes under the fort after having spent almost the whole day running about. He knows as soon as she's out that Thea’s set on approaching him so he braces himself for the influx of questions to come his way as he heads to the kitchen to quietly start dinner.

“So what happened?” she asks, jumping onto the one of the seats attached to the island.

Back still turned to her, Oliver asks, “What happened when?”

When he doesn't hear a response, he glances behind him at her to find a stone cold straight face staring daggers into his back. Chuckling at her expression, he turns fully around, deciding to just come out with it.

“Yesterday I found out from Mckenna that Felicity had partnered with Chase’s company.”

Thea remains looking at him, face blank in an obvious tell that she doesn't get the big deal. Sighing, Oliver goes on, “Anyways I felt angry that I hadn't found out from her, especially because she knows how I feel about Chase. So when she confronted me I acted like a complete asshole. I even basically told her to hold off on her chip until Chase isn't CEO anymore.”

Thea only says one thing when it's clear he's not going to add anything else. “You're so stupid Ollie.”

“I know.”

“Like, really stupid.”

“I know,”

“So dumb even Patrick from Spongebob has a few IQ points on you,”

“You know what Speedy, I think I get it,” he says, feeling slightly offended.

But she isn't letting up, “No I don't think you do. This is something that's important to her. You  **know** why too. Why would you make her feel bad for finally doing something to see it happen?”

“That was never my intention. It's just that… Chase, he…” he struggles, not sure how to say this, not even sure if he  _ wants  _ to say this.

“You're jealous.” His sister states simply, looking like she doesn't believe what she's seeing. “I know I joked about it earlier but you're actually jealous. Wow.”

“I'm not jealous!” he whisper shouts - mindful of Amy sleeping in the other room. His anger rises quicker than he thought it would, Chase’s words from 3 months ago ringing in his ears. “You wanna know what he was going to say about Felicity when we were running against each other back in August? His office was going to run a smear campaign against me which would include accusations of Felicity sleeping her way to the top. They were going to say that I was the first stepping stone into her gold digging career. They even intended to bring Amy into it, wanted to imply that she wasn't mine. And that's not even the half of it. So, no, I'm not jealous. He's just an awful human being that I'd rather the mother of my child not be around, is all.”

Silence fills the space between them, and he's glad for it because he honestly needs a moment to calm his rising temper brought on by Chase.

Eventually, Thea starts speaking, never one to do well with silence, “Look, I'm sorry… and I get it.”

Shaking his head, Oliver begins, “You don't have to apologize. You couldn't have known and I intentionally made sure no one did anyway.”

“But why? Why not let people know? Or hell, even just Felicity?”

Oliver huffs out a breath, leaning against the counter behind him as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Someone from my campaign found out about what they were going to do and I sort of… threatened Chase. At that point I didn't care about losing if he told anyone that I did, I only cared that he didn't utter either Felicity’s or Amy’s name. But he never said anything, and he eventually agreed to it in that villainous ‘I'll get you next time’ way. And I thought afterwards that there was no point in telling anyone because no harm was done. Now though, I realize that that was my only mistake.”

Thea’s eyes burn with anger as she looks at him. “Okay, it's official now. I definitely hate him.” Her eyes light up a moment later as if realizing something. “Maybe he's the one that caused all this drama this morning.”

Oliver thinks on it before shaking his head in disagreement, “But to what outcome? He already lost to me.”

“Maybe he's plotting his revenge,” she offers.

“This isn't a thriller movie Thea. I  _ do _ think he agreed to the partnership in part to get a rise out of me, but this whole Felicity and Chase being together to make me jealous thing is a little too immature. Even for him.”

Eventually Thea just shrugs before she eyes him, her face serious as she begins speaking once more. “Well, I think you should tell Felicity about the thing with Chase because she has a right to know. And I think you should apologize. And  _ then _ I think you should admit you're in love with her and propose and have 3 more kids.”

“If only it were that easy.”

 

**

 

When Felicity gets to his place on Sunday evening to pick up Amy, he’s basically a walking ball of nerves. He's ran over what he plans to tell her about a million times, but when he opens the door for her at 7, it all flies from his brain. She's wearing a light pink top with a blue jacket paired with skin tight black pants. It's nothing that he hasn't seen her in before, and it's not even something that's meant to catch the eye, but he'd learned a while ago that when it comes to her he'll never miss a single detail.

Oliver steps aside and allows her to enter, shouting, “Amy, your mother's here,” to his daughter from where she’s upstairs packing up the small carrying bag she brought over with her homework and a few other stuff.

But Felicity stops him, placing a hand on his arm as she says, “Actually, why don't we give her a few more minutes… so we can have that talk?”

Ignoring the goosebumps that form along his arm at her touch, Oliver nods before calling out to Amy once more, “Nevermind, nugget, your mother will come get you in a few minutes.”

Their daughter’s shrill, “Okay,” comes a couple seconds later.

With that sorted out, Oliver faces her, not really sure what to say or do for a few seconds. Felicity sheds the jacket from her toned shoulders, and he can’t help the way his eyes travel over her figure as she walks away from him to place her discarded apparel on the back of couch. When she turns back around to face him again, she sticks her thumbs inside the loops of the back of her pants, obviously waiting for something to happen. Eventually he decides that maybe if they're sitting things won't feel so weird between them. So he takes a seat on the couch and motions for her to join him, which she does a moment later, leaving a good amount of space between them.

The air is thick with words unsaid and Felicity avoids his gaze, eyes studying her nails as she plays with them. Her knee bounces non stop in a sign of her nervousness, something he’s become so familiar with since he’s known her. The silence reminds him of Friday night, of how she’d had to force his words out of him.  More than that though, it reminds him of the way things had felt last year when he'd broken their relationship, only then it was far worse. But they've come too far to fix it just for him to mess it up again. It's that thought that has him finally speaking up.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers, so low he's unsure if she even heard him. From the way her head turns to him though, it seems she has. Felicity sighs, bringing a hand up to tuck a lock of her loose hair behind her ear before she shifts ever so slightly towards him.

“I'm sorry too,” she offers, voice filled with more conviction than he had just now.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one that acted like an asshole. I knew how important this was for you and I said what I said anyhow. There's no excuse for that.”

Felicity bites her lip in contemplation, and his gaze locks in on the innocent gesture. His fingers buzz by his side the remove it from between her teeth, the action more tantalizing to him than it should be. Her bottom lip becomes free once again when she begins to speak, her eyes unmoving from where it's zeroed in on him.

“What you said was stupid, that much I agree on, but I knew that you wouldn't react very well to it, and I still didn't tell you about it. That's on me. And then what happened yesterday morning with those gossip columns that must have rubbed the fact that I hadn't told you in your face…”

Shaking his head, Oliver disagrees, “There's no excuse for how I acted Felicity. I don't ever want to be the type of guy that expects things from people and then acts like an asshole when my expectations aren't met. Even though you hadn't told me, I could've handled it better and I promise that I will the next time something like this happens.”

Her blue eyes stare at him calculatingly, and he knows she's weighing the truth in his words. But he meant every word he said, and he knows she knows him too much to not see that too.

But then her lips turn up into a smile, one he didn't know he'd missed so much until he actually saw it. Oliver watches as Felicity pulls her legs under her, turning fully towards him on the sofa as she places her elbow on the back of it, chin resting on her knuckle. She looks comfortable, like she’s supposed to be here with him and it feels normal, as if Friday hadn't happened at all. It eventually makes him feel at ease, and he can feel the tension slipping from his body as she begins to speak.

“Well, if we're being honest, you did act like an asshole that one time the guy at the ice cream store didn't have your favorite ice cream flavour.”

Chuckling lightly at the memory, Oliver corrects, “First of all, that was 3 years ago. And I was high on laughing gas.” Felicity’s laugh interrupts him, and she throws her head back in laughter at the annoyed look on his face. “Will you  _ ever _ let that go?”

“Nope. ‘Sir, just give me the damn cookies and cream!’ God you were so hurt!” she snorts rather loudly, surprising even herself at the sound, which just ends in more laughter.

Giving her a minute to compose herself, Oliver mumbles, “Are you done now?”

Pursing her lips to hold in her laughter, she nods her head, stopping when her eyes light up as if suddenly remembering something. “Oh yeah, Adrian and I are having a launch of development party for the chip next Friday to draw in investors. So, it'd be nice if the mayor was there,” her smile becomes less real as she continues on, “Plus with everything that's happening gossip wise, I think we should present a united front. But you can totally bring a date, if you'd like…”

Her eyes divert from him, her discomfort evident. He doesn’t quite understand the part about him bringing a date so he just ignores it. However, at the mention at Chase, his own frustrations rises, and he remembers Thea’s words from yesterday urging him to tell her about what took place months ago. He doesn't want to hurt her business deal, but he knows his sister was right. He swallows heavily before answering her.

“Yeah, uh, I'd love to come… Speaking of Chase-”

“Look, Oliver,” she interrupts, what she's about to say next something that was obviously planned. “Let’s not talk about Adrian okay? I know how he makes you feel, but the help he's providing might actually help my mother and so many other people. I have to see this through but I can respect that you don't like him. So please, just respect my decisions as well.”

Her eyes silently plead with him, and at the mention of her mother, the war within him wages. If he tells her, her entire deal might fall through and she won't be able to help the woman that raised her, at least not yet. But if he doesn't, she might find out another way and be angry at him for keeping it away from her. And though he hates it when she's angry with him, the former sounds like a much worse option.

So when he whispers, “Okay,” and the smile on her lips return, big, genuine and bright, he thinks maybe in this moment he made the right decision.

10 minutes later, Felicity and Amy are leaving, and the house feels empty and alone in that way it always does when they're not there.

 

**

 

“Mayor Queen, someone's here to see you.”

Oliver looks up from where he's signing some paperwork at the voice of his assistant, smile ready on his lips in greeting to the person behind him. He isn't expecting anyone at this time, but he keeps his face open. However, as his assistant steps out of the room and the visitor is revealed, his entire day worsens.

“Mayor Queen,” he tries out, letting the words roll of his tongue. He looks around the office, obvious fake impressed smile on his lips, “It suits you.”

Oliver stands and rounds the desk, stopping a few feet before him. “What are you doing here Adrian?”

“I realize I never congratulated you on your victory. What kind of opposition would I be if I didn't admit my defeats?” The fake smile doesn't leave his lips, and the sound of his voice irks Oliver to his very core.

Not wanting him to feel like his presence here is accepted, Oliver echoes, “I don't know. But it's gotta be better than one who attempts to bring their competition's family into politics.”

The forced smile falls from his lips, and he looks up, as if needing to centre himself, then his persona slips back into form. His eyes land on his desk, and Oliver just  _ knows _ he sees the picture of him, Felicity and Amy. Adrian smiles once more at him. “Nice picture.”

“I swear to God, Adrian, if you-”

“If I what Oliver? Ready to send another threat? That's not very mayoral.”

Oliver’s fist tighten by his side, and he levels him with a look that he hopes looks as deadly as he intends it to be. But Adrian just laughs, shiny white pearls on full display while his laugh lines appear by his eyes.

He reaches a hand out, settling it on his shoulder, “You know, my father always told me to treasure my family,” he shakes his head at the memory, continuing on, “I hope you do that everyday, Mayor Queen. I'll see you at the development launch party.”

And then Adrian walks out of the room like he owns the place, glass door closing with a quiet click.

Oliver rounds the desk, sitting heavily as he picks up the picture frame Adrian had referred to. With Felicity and Amy’s smiling faces looking up at him, his heart beat slows until it's at a normal pace once more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna slap Chase. How about you?
> 
> please share your thoughts if you have any!
> 
> Also, please keep in mind that this IS felicity smoak. She'll find out if someone's messing with her on her own because she's that smart. But this is also JUST the second chapter. I'd refrain from jumping to too many conclusions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity unexpectedly stumbles upon some information that could change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I really hope everyone enjoys this chapter!
> 
> Have fun!

Star City - Around 6 Years Ago

 

The only sound that permeates the air within Felicity’s bedroom is the clicking of the keyboard beneath her fingers. To her left is a half open window allowing for the overcast skies filling the early evening to lend it's hue to the room. The general atmosphere leaves her feeling somber and in her element, nothing but her computers and herself - and well, also the baby if she's being technical.

At 7 months pregnant it's wholly impossible to forget that there's a whole human growing within her, but she still has to remind herself sometimes that she isn't alone even when she is _alone._ It makes her wonder if she'll be a bad mother, only because it can't be a good sign that it's still taking so long to sink in. She supposes that it's a fear that every new mother has, and along with the uncertainty of what's to come, paired with the inexperience of taking care of another person that depends solely on you to survive, it’s something that has made her worrisome as well. But she also knows it's not so bad when you have someone by your side.

A light dew begins to beat against the window moments later, the barely there thud echoing on the surface every few seconds. She ignores it in favor of concentrating on finishing the coding on the screens before her. The distinct scent of the rain travels into the room as well, but it's only an afterthought as she powers through on her work. It's from a financing company looking to upgrade their electronic network, and she'd been given the task to do it because there's no one else on their payroll equipped to do it better than she can.

She rolls her neck around a few times, willing the kink there to go away. In doing so, her eyes catch on the clock on the desk next to her computer set up - which is really 3 computers - before she forces herself to ignore it. It's been months of being in this very position, seated in this very same chair on this very same desk and she's grown quite tired of it to the point where she had to train herself to be patient and not attempt to watch the time pass by. Her mother _did_ always say ‘A watched pot never boils.’

She thinks the only reason why she hasn't gone insane is because she's doing what she loves. Sure, sometimes the tasks aren't as challenging, and sure, they become repetitive in their nature, but she could be doing nothing. And doing something is far better than doing nothing. Plus, the money part isn't bad either.

So with that subtle reminder to keep her attention on her work, her mind becomes one with the information it collects then analyzes and sorts through. So much so that she doesn't hear when the front door downstairs opens and closes as someone enters. And she’s also too busy mumbling code at herself to realize that they're calling her name from their location at the bottom of the stairs.

She only realizes that Oliver’s home when he's entering her room, her neck snapping to sound of him opening the door, the dark blue suit jacket on his body damp with… rain water?

Her head turns back towards the window to see that the light dew had indeed turned into a steady shower. A gust of wind sweeps through the room and goosebumps form along her skin as she attempts to rub her hands along her arms to produce some warmth. Before she can make an effort to stand with her bump, Oliver’s crossing the space to close the window all the way. His broad muscular back is to her as she eyes him pushing the glass window down, a loud click echoing throughout the room as it closes on a snap. The sound of the rain outside becomes muffled background noise, but even with Oliver now in the room with her, the air feels still.

Hands on his hips as he approaches her, Oliver lets out a slow sigh before speaking, “You gotta stop doing that.”

She knows immediately what he means and she internally chastises herself for doing it again. It's not the first time that she'd gone blind to the outside world, and though nothing bad has ever happened to her because she was too caught up in her head, Oliver had expressed a little while ago that it worried him when she did, especially so with a baby on the way.

She let's a smile spread on her lips, figuring out quite soon in their friendship that he couldn't stay mad or upset with her as long she smiled or pouted at him, and yeah, their child is going to be _so_ spoiled. She spins the office chair all the way around to face him and her hands fly instinctively to her stomach to rub it soothingly. Her head tilts to the side placatingly, “You know I would if I could.”

She’s aware that he knows she's teasing him so when he just shakes his head and starts shedding the damp jacket from his shoulders, stepping out of the room to dispose of it in her tiny laundry room, Felicity patiently awaits his return.

The need to pee hits her a second later and she awkwardly stands on her slightly swollen feet to waddle over to her bathroom. Once she's done, the now prominent ache in her back and neck has her rubbing the top of her spine in an effort to ease some of the pain as she walks back into her room. Oliver still hasn't returned yet, so when she eyes the computer set up that she'd been sitting at seconds ago before moving her eyes to her queen size bed, her chair seems like a torture device in comparison.

The finance company doesn't even need her work for another week so she shrugs her shoulder, decision made as she steps towards her bed. She's worked her ass of today anyways.

As she's got one leg on the bed, hand still on the top of her spine in an effort to ease the pain, Oliver enters the room, this time in the white dress shirt that had been underneath his jacket, sleeves rolled up to reveal his strong and strangely attractive forearms and the two top buttons of the shirt undone.

Instinctively, her eyes settle there, spending far too much time eyeing the exposed skin. His arms crossing over his chest alerts her to avert her gaze and her cheeks begin to heat up in embarrassment as she sends a silent prayer that he hadn't noticed her appraisal of him. Though a small part of her knows he did, partly because she's been eyeing him... _a lot_ lately. Felicity swallows thickly, only meeting his eyes when he begins talking once more.

“How's the backache?” his voice is soft and filled with understanding, and that more than anything pushes her fear of being caught from her mind for the time being. Once she's settled on the bed, legs crossed in front of her as she faces him where he's stood a few feet from the bed, her hand is on her neck again, rubbing the spot multiple times.

“It's awesome. Totally love it.”

Oliver huffs out an amused breath, walking over the few feet to the bed before motioning to the space next to her, silently asking if he can sit. She nods her head, waiting with bated breath as he does and trying to act unaffected by his closeness once he's seated. “Really? So you're totally fine with just suffering through it?”

“Yeah, pain is actually a kink of mine,” it takes her all of 5 seconds to cringe at her word choice, falling over herself to make what she just said… less sexual, especially given how she's been feeling lately. “I'm totally just kidding by the way, I mean, pain isn’t actually a sexual kink of mine…” she stutters, her eyebrows shooting up at the thought that maybe she's kinkshaming, “Not that there's anything wrong with it, I mean I hear BDSM is all the rage nowadays.” Her hand flies up to the space between her eyebrows, rubbing it jerkily as if it'll make her any less socially incompetent. “Please tell me to stop talking.”

“Now why would I do that?” he asks, teasing smile on his face as his hand rubs his beard in mock curiosity. He'd only recently started sporting his permanent 5 o'clock shadow along with a close cropped haircut after she'd jokingly told him he looked like a stalker with the mop of hair and clean shaven look he'd had before. Joke was on her though, because the way he looks now has been the subject of her less than innocent dreams.

“Because I can never seem to stop talking.” Felicity shifts her body then pushes back until she's leaning up against her headboard, subconsciously needing the space between them, but her leg remains an airs breath away from touching Oliver’s thigh. “Enough about me. How was work?”

Oliver sighs, eyes rolling to the back of his head in annoyance. Not at her, but rather at the work itself. He still isn't happy about his situation, but it's what he has to deal with. “You know, after 2 and a half months of working for my father you'd think it'd be less awful, but it's like he comes up with new ways to keep my displeasure appeased.”

“I'm sure he isn't doing that on purpose. Plus, to be fair you get annoyed pretty easily.” Felicity mumbles the last part, her eyes meeting every surface in the room except his eyes.

He scoffs, shifting slightly on the bed to get more comfortable as well. “I don't get annoyed easily.”

“You've been my roommate for almost 6 months now. I think I know a thing or two about you.” And she does. Ever since that day in the waiting area at her OBGYN’s office, their whole dynamic had changed. They talk about things that isn't just about the baby now and they feel miles more comfortable around each other which prompts them to confide in each other. He doesn't know _all_ of her deepest darkest secrets, but she's sure that if he asks her right now, or tomorrow or next month, she'd tell him, no hesitation.

So she knows that he's a light sleeper, but she also knows that he slept with a night light til he was 16. She knows that he's a great cook, and she also knows that one of his greatest fears is being a disappointment. And she knows he gets annoyed easily because he isn't doing what he loves, especially following the fact that he doesn't know what that is.

“Yeah, well, it's safe to say I didn't particularly enjoy today but I guess it could be worse,” he offers eventually, knowing for a fact that she's right. His face is closed off, eyes faraway and probably lost in thought. Oliver had only agreed to work for his father as sort of a bargain for his parents to accept his decisions to stick by her. She'd never wanted him to be ripped away from his family because of their mistake, so she'd always told him to try to make amends with them ever since they'd found out and he'd been avoiding them. Ultimately though, it was his decision, one she's glad he eventually made the right choice on. She knows his parents are still skeptical of her, but she never really wanted or needed their approval because they honestly aren't what's important. It's always been the baby and it _will_ always be the baby.

“Yeah, worse like being bent over a computer all day while pregnant,” she tries, hoping to bring some humor back into the space. She doesn't know when she'd made it her responsibility to make him smile when he's down, but here she is.

His face opens up and his dimple appears as a small smile a lights on his lips, “I **did** tell you that you should probably cut down on freelancing especially now that you're getting closer to the due date, but hey, what do I know right?”

Sarcasm is dripping from his voice and she playfully uses her leg to lightly kick him on his thigh, feigning offence, “Hey!”

A chuckle leaves him lips, but before her leg returns to its previous spot, his hand lightly grabs ahold of her calf and the laughter that had bubbled up within her dies on her tongue. When she looks into his eyes, a quick intake of air leaves her lips at the darkened color.

“I could help with the um… the back and neck pain. If you want…”

His voice is rough and hoarse with something she recognizes from their first night together. Felicity swallows tightly, unaware of when the mood around them had turned from light and playful to this. Deep down though she knows that they've been tip toeing around this invisible line that she'd placed between them as soon as he'd said he wanted to be in the picture.

From the get go, Felicity had told herself that it had to be about the baby, and that starting anything with Oliver was too risky because not only could she end up hurt, but their child as well. She didn't want to see him walk away from her and in turn walk away from their child like her father did. She didn't want a repeat of her tragic backstory because she knows her baby deserves better than that. And so sure, she was okay with them just being co parents - two people who just happen to have a child. But she'd realized that day in the waiting area that she was keeping him at arm's length which was doing more damage than actual good.

Which so happens to be the moment she'd allowed him to sneak his way into her heart. Oliver is nothing like the person he allows the world to see and there's so much more to him than just the playboy that doesn't have his life together. His potential and his love for his sister and family are things that had her heart fluttering traitorously in her chest whenever she was a witness to his displays of affection and drive.

But it's also been months now of this tension between them, unmistakable but still never mentioned or uttered. Never crossing that line but never stepping farther away from it either. The attraction was there from the start and it hasn't disappeared. If anything, it's just grown.

So she doesn't really know if it's pregnancy hormones, or just pour attraction, but she's been unable to stop thinking about him. And that's another reason why she'd drawn the line really. Because even though she's admittedly feeling things, she can't be sure if it's just temporary, and in that case, why risk it?

But Oliver’s hand on her calf has her grouping her rational thoughts up and sending them packing.

“How do you propose you'd help me?” she hears herself saying, voice sounding spacey and affected even to her own ears. It's too bad she can't do anything about it at this point.

“Well,” he starts, eyes remaining fixed on hers as he turns his entire body to her, both of their bodies now facing each other as he settles entirely on the bed and crosses his legs before him with far more grace than she'd managed. His hand creeps higher and higher on her calf and distantly a voice in her head tells her that this isn't what friends or co parents do, but as soon as it appears it vanishes, her focus entirely on the goosebumps forming on her skin under his touch. “I could give you a massage. Those are pretty helpful, I hear.”

A smile forms unwarranted on her lips and she really doesn't mean to sound so seductive when she speaks again, “So, you plan on giving me a foot rub when I'm having backaches, Mr. Queen?”

“Oh, I plan on doing both. This is just a… prequel.”

She honestly doesn't know how he's even attracted to her at this point. Her 7 month pregnant belly is on display as its barely being hidden by the blue camisole she's wearing. But the look in his eyes tell her that he is and while usually her insecurities would have her running, it's not something she even gives a thought at the moment.

Eventually she nods her consent, happy to watch him massage her leg that though not as bad as her back is indeed aching a tiny bit. His other hand lands on her calf as well and then he starts rubbing it, forming an in and out motion before switching and going up and down. Once he reaches her feet, running his hand soothingly but pithily against the sole of her foot, she's putty in hands, and she's pretty sure she's just a pile of goo. His hands have always been amazing.

After a while, he delicately drops her right leg to begin on her left, repeating each move as if he'd memorized it in his head. She's had to stop herself from moaning out loud more than once. She's also glad that his gaze has remained on his task because she's unsure what she’d do if he sees the faces she's making.

When he's done, his eyes move to hers but she makes sure to school her features before he does.

He clears his throat before speaking, “You're going to have to turn around.”

Her thoughts stop on a screeching halt, his words taking on a whole new meaning in her head. Oliver’s eyes widen and he's stuttering out an attempt to fix his wording, “I meant, for the back rub, that is… not, not anything else.”

Felicity huffs out a breath, feigning amusement as she does what he'd asked, “Yeah, yeah... sorry. Totally knew that's what you meant.”

Once her back is to him and she's facing the headboard, she realizes that this hadn't been a very good idea. She can't see his face, can't see _any_ of him, so she can't prepare herself for any of the things he's about to do. Oddly enough though, she's a strange mix of nervousness and quiet excitement. Her skin, which was already buzzing from his foot rub just now, begins to overheat in the still air around them.

Outside, the rain is still beating against the windows, thunder and lightning sounding quietly on every few minutes. A storm brews within her insides as well.

She feels his body heat against her skin as he scoots closer to her back, and all of her senses are on high alert, keying in on him only. Goosebumps form along her neck as each breathes he takes fans out on her skin. A shiver runs up her body that she hopes he hadn't noticed but knows that he had anyhow.

As light as a feather, his hand comes in contact with the exposed skin of her upper back, and she blacks out for a second, the dip deep within her stomach the only thing that takes up her senses for a while. She swallows again, taking a deep breath and just giving in to the feel of his hands on her skin, carefully but fiercely rubbing the ache away from her muscles.

He spends much longer on her back, hands most likely reaching every inch and paying attention to each as if it would be an injustice if he didn't. Then his hands reach her shoulders, and Felicity bites her tongue when she realizes his face is almost right next to hers. She turns her head minutely towards him, only able to glimpse his features for a second.

What she see shakes her, and the dip within her stomach swoops once more. Eventually, he hands still on her neck, and it's only then that she notices that his entire body is molded to hers.

Felicity doesn't know why but she turns around slightly, his entire face on full view. His face is as affected as she knows hers is and his eyes are pitch black as he stares back at her. For just a minute, they look at each other, nothing but the air between them being exchanged.

His eyes flicker down to her lips and his Adam's apple bobs within his throat as he swallows. Before she knows it, her face is moving towards his, lips parted to taste his. His eyes close as he takes in a breath, inching closer to her as well.

And then Felicity yawns. Right in his face.

She's fucking mortified.

“Oh my God. Please kill me. _Please_ ,” her head lands on his chest, cheeks aflame as she refuses to meet his gaze. His chest buzzes with the laughter he let's out and Felicity kind of feels like she might actually die.

“Felicity,” he whispers, not even able to hide his amusement from his voice.

Unable to face him just yet, Felicity remains in her position, feeling as Oliver begins running his arm along her back in comfort. He continues, “It's fine. I mean, I've never had a woman fall asleep on me before but there's a first time for everything right?”

Without looking, she punches him lightly on his arm, feeling the laughter bubble from his chest once more. “Glad to know you're enjoying my mortification.”

“Well you're not going to so I might as well.”

She doesn't respond, instead just making a dismissive sound at him. Eventually he begins pulling back, prompting her to look at him. When she finally does, his amusement is subdued, but at least he's trying. “It's fine Felicity. I'm pretty tired too. You should get some sleep.”

Bringing a hand up to run along his cheek, a move that comes out of nowhere but in the moment just feels right, Felicity finds herself asking, “Stay with me?”

All her precautions about him and about starting a them are silenced in this moment and all she's able to feel is this thing that's forming. Or maybe it's been there for a while already. She can't really tell.

His face absolutely softens, eyes now once more the shining blue that she's used to. “Of course.”

She shifts back, allowing for him to lay on the bed before she lays next to him on her side, her belly the only thing between them as her head lays once more on his chest. Oliver’s hand rests on her stomach, thumb running along the exposed skin there for a few seconds and it's that moment that their child starts moving around after not doing so for a few hours, obviously affected by the touch of their father.

They fall asleep like that, the rain outside not stopping until way into the night which is when Oliver wakes to make them dinner.

  


Star City - Present Day

  


“Felicity! Oh my gosh, I missed you so much!”

Smile forming on her lips before she's even seen her, Felicity rises from her seat, spinning around to face the dazzlingly bright face of her best friend Iris. They're in each other's arms in seconds, Felicity awkwardly hunched over to avoid squishing Iris’ 8 month pregnant stomach.

The restaurant around them buzzes quietly in the background, midday hustle and bustle making the place quite busy but not overly so, which keeps it bearable. After releasing each other from the hug, Felicity steps over to Iris’ chair and eases it back so she doesn't have any complications sitting. Seated once again in the chair that she'd been in a moment ago, her hand immediately goes to her best friend's belly, unable to keep herself from feeling it.

“You're literally about to pop babe,” she says, awe evident in her voice as the tiny little girl still growing inside her squirms about, evident by the movement even through the dress Iris is currently wearing.

Iris’ sweet laughter echoes within the space between them, cheeks pinking as the happiness that's been filling up her life lately leaves her giddy. “I know. We can't wait.”

Finally removing her hand from her stomach, Felicity focuses entirely on her best friend's face. “You say that now…” she trails off, the teaseful warning obvious.

Rolling her eyes, Iris scoffs, “I don't need your negativity right now, okay,” she says, playfully holding her hand up as she tries to keep the smile from her face and failing miserably.

“Okay, fine. Ignore me, as always.” Felicity brushes off, picking up the menu to finally choose her order. Iris isn't done though.

“You know, some best friends would use their own experience to _kindly_ give me advice on this whole motherhood thing, especially when they're so awesome at it.” She clears her throat when she's done, picking up her menu as well, and dutifully studying it.

Finally giving in, Felicity snorts, menu forgotten for a moment as she speaks, “Oh you know I'm kidding. It's all going to be sunshine and rain and you'll fall in love the moment your eyes land on her and I'm one hundred percent sure Barry’s going to cry.”

“Oh Barry’s definitely gonna cry,” she sneers, like him crying is the most obvious thing in the world. And, yeah, it is. “I didn't actually mean you couldn't tell me the bad stuff too by the way. I know they're coming. Plus you've already kind of briefed me on it.”

“I know, but I figure I should keep you in your happy bubble. It's a focus on the good, ignore the bad - but still prepare for it, kind of thing.”

“That's… nice of you.” Iris adds after a moment. Their waiter arrives at the table a second later and they both order a salad.

As soon as the waiter is gone, Felicity remembers something and is speaking once more, “Thanks again for dropping Amy off at the daycare last week. Oliver and I were way too busy with work to do it, but we're trying to make sure it never happens again.”

Iris and Barry had luckily been in town to drop off some evidence for a joint case from Central City. They were actually supposed to stop by the office but with her busy trying to sort out the deal with Adrian, they'd only been able to drop Amy off and leave, not knowing when her call would end, which meant she hadn't seen them at all.

“It's no problem. Amy was a sweetheart, as always. She did ask me what Barry and I do as a married couple though… which was a little hard to answer,” Iris trails off, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for a few seconds.

“She what?” Felicity whisper asks, careful to keep her voice down so as to not alert anyone else near by their table in the restaurant. “Why am I just now hearing this?”

Iris shrugs, discomfort evident as she answers, “I just thought it was a typical 5 year old question… What? Is there more to it?”

Felicity sighs, never having really planned to tell anyone this. But if she can tell anyone, it's Iris and she figures she should actually talk to someone about this who isn't Oliver or a toddler. “It's a rather long multifaceted story.”

“Well, I'm here all day. And you're the boss of your own company so your lunch ends when you say it ends.”

Smiling at her enthusiasm, Felicity opens her mouth, only to snap it close again when their waiter returns with their orders. Once he's gone, and the food is before them, Felicity attempts to gather thoughts before letting it all out.

“So it all sort of started last Thursday when Amy asked me when Oliver and I are getting married...”

Iris huffs out an impressed breath, chewing on a bite of her food before mumbling, “A 5 year has more balls than me, would you look at that.”

Confusion floods her at Iris’ off handed comment, “Huh?”

But Iris is already dismissing it, muttering a, “Nothing, go on, go on,” instead of clarifying. Though she might have a clue as to what she meant, Felicity ignores it in favor of going on like she'd asked.

“Yeah so I talked to her, told her that it won't be happening and then I spoke the Oliver later on in the night and told him what she'd asked. He was… pretty weird about it and... I don't know some part of me thought that meant something but then I heard this woman in the background and I know it sounds paranoid and immature and he hasn't told me he's seeing anyone but it was pretty late and-”

“You were jealous,” Iris interrupts, voice certain and steady as if it's already a known fact.

“I wasn't jealous,” she defends, feeling like she has to explain herself somehow. She can't be jealous of some woman that she doesn't know, or that might not even exist because when she'd spoken to Oliver on Sunday night he'd seemed like he didn't know what she was talking about when she'd mentioned a date. Still, it doesn't mean that there wasn't someone that night and she's only now realizing that it's bothering her far more than she'd paid attention to.

But Iris just let's out a tired breath, obviously not buying it, “It's me you're talking to, okay?” Their eyes interlock and she says more with one look than she could say with her words. She knows.

She's never officially told anyone how she felt about Oliver, but Iris by far has known the most about her relationship with him and she’s only person she told about what happened between them last year. She'd been aware of how much it had broken her and so it’s not far fetched that she knows how she actually feels now.

Nodding her head in understanding, Felicity goes on after letting the realization sink in, figuring that that's a conversation for another day. “So, anyways, after that we hung up and then I saw him the next day like we’d planned. We got to my place and everything was good until around dinner. He'd gotten a phone call and was acting even weirder than before, angry at me for some reason. After a while I confronted him and he basically called me a traitor for partnering with Adrian Chase - which I'm sure you've heard about.”

Iris nods, seeming lost in thoughts for a second before focusing once more on her, “Yeah, he ran against Oliver right? Is that why he thought you betrayed him or something?”

“I mean, I don’t think that’s actually how he felt but I guess that's apart of it? Though I can't help but feel like there's more to it.”

Finishing off a bite of her salad, Iris adds nonchalantly, “So ask him then.”

“I can't. I told him I didn't want to talk about Chase anymore.”

Iris’ brows crinkle in confusion, “Why not?”

Felicity sighs, using her fork to move the salad ingredients side to side on her plate, trying to put words to how she's feeling, “Because… look I know Oliver doesn't trust him and even if Oliver didn't I still wouldn't trust Adrian either. He's too nice, too easy going, but I have to see this partnership through. This chip is too important to hold off on just because the guy kind of gives me the creeps.” She learnt a long time ago that business wasn't about trust. It was about opportunity. And this was the opportunity of a lifetime. She's not an idiot. She _did_ tell Oliver that Adrian was charming but that was just to get under his skin. Oliver may let his feelings cloud his judgement sometimes but it's a judgement she trust. All that being said, however, ever since Adrian came into the picture things have just been… not the same. So pushing him aside and pretending he isn't there? Seems like a good option to her.

Iris speaking shakes her from her clouded thoughts, “So well, apart from all of that mess, plus the gossip blog running that news that you're with Chase to make Oliver jealous - which I don't know why I totally forgot about - are you guys are okay now?”

Not even wanting to give that false gossip any thought, Felicity nods, “Yeah, I guess. I invited him to my developmental launch party on Friday and he said he'd come so… here's to hoping that doesn't blow up in my face.” She picks up her glass of water, prompting Iris to do the same.

“Knowing you, it probably will.” The glasses ding together distinctively between them.

 

**

 

“Why can't I come?”

Felicity searches through her jewelry, intent on finding that particular pair of earrings that she knows would go with her dress perfectly. Amy’s sitting on her bed behind her, eyes following her every moment with misunderstood jealousy. If only she knew.

“Momma,”

She swears she left it with the rest of her earrings, the last time she wore it being that gala she went to a year and a half ago. Except it's not there. She goes through her makeup storage, thinking maybe it fell in there. She's careful to keep her dress away from contact with it, mindful not the stain the white fabric.

“Momma,”

Not finding any trace of it, she pivots, mind going a mile a minute as she wonders if maybe she left it at Oliver’s. She has an inclination to call him and ask, but then thinks better of it because he should he on his way over by now.

“Momma!”

Sighing, Felicity faces her baby girl, gaze open in question to what she wants. “What is it, Amelia?”

“Why can't I come with you?”

Blowing out a breath, Felicity marches over to her, sitting next to her and running her hand over her tiny head affectionately, “I told you before, my angel. It's not a party for 5 year olds. You remember that New Years Party last year at Smoak Tech?”

Amy nods, face lit with realization. “It's like that, but like 100 times more boring and adult filled.”

Her lips form a pout, obviously not appeased yet, “But I want to be with you and Daddy.”

“And you will be, as soon as we get home. In the meantime you'll enjoy the night with your Aunt Thea and go to bed when she tells you to.” Thea had so gladly volunteered to spend her Friday night babysitting and both she and Oliver are grateful for it, especially him because he gets to see his baby sister 2 weekends in a row.

Eventually Amy nods, probably figuring that Felicity won't be letting up. “Now, do you want to help me find my earrings for tonight?”

Amy sheepishly avoids her gaze and it's that action that has her eyeing her suspiciously. “Amy.”

Her confession comes sooner than she'd expected, “I was playing with it the other day but only because Mrs. Super Duper Girl needed the jewelry to use for fake ransom against Ms. Evil Steel Girl.”

Felicity’s mouth drops open, but she's unable to form words. Instead of trying to understand what that all means, she just sighs, “Just- go get it baby.” She nods before throwing herself off the bed and running towards the door. “Don't run!” Felicity reminds her. She stops running for all of 3 steps before she's sprinting through the hallway to her room once more.

Shaking her head at her antics, Felicity stands and steps in front of the full length mirror beside her bed. Her hands run over the designed pattern of the top of her dress and the sheer fabric soft underneath her fingers.

[[see dress here]](https://twitter.com/emilyszuko/status/979426436372205568)

A second later her phone buzzes by her night stand and she retrieves it.

**Oliver: We're here, should I come in?**

**Felicity: Yeah, Amy wants to see you off. Use the spare key and let yourself in. I'll be ready in 5.**

Amy steps inside as she hits the send on the reply with the earrings in her palm and she takes them from her to inspect it, luckily finding it in decent shape.

Back in front of the mirror once more, Felicity slips the semi long diamond earring in one ear before turning her head and slipping the other one in.

With that done, she studies her reflection from head to toe, her whole look now complete. Turning around to face her audience, she asks Amy how she looks, “What do you think?”

Her eyes light up in awe and Felicity almost cries at the way she looking at her as if she's never seen something so beautiful. “You look like a princess… wait no. You look like a Queen, Momma.”

Felicity doesn't think she notices the double meaning within her words.

They both startle slightly of the sound of the front door opening but they're at ease when they make out 3 distinctively familiar voices. Amy grabs a hold of her hands, ready to present her to everyone it seems. She stops her for a second, grabbing her clutch and phone before allowing her to drag her down the hallway and then down the flight of stairs.

Once the entire living room is in sight, her eyes immediately go the three people standing by the threshold, but then like they always do, her eyes zero in on one person in particular. Oliver’s dressed in a black tuxedo, bow tie around his neck tied to perfection. She has a sneaking suspicion that it's Thea’s doing but the thought flies from her brain as she eyes him up and down. His built muscular frame fills out the entire suit, leaving nothing to the imagination.

When she meets his eyes, she swallows thickly, his appraisal of her evident as well.

“Daddy, doesn't mommy look like a Queen?”

The choking sound doesn't come from either her or Oliver but rather from the other people in the room, Thea and Diggle, obviously finding the situation amusing.

“She _does_ look like royalty,” is all Oliver says, oblivious to anything else but her as his stare remains fixed on her. She shivers lightly under his gaze, side stepping Amy who's standing in front her to approach the adults in the room.

Unintentionally biting her lip, Felicity fumbles with the buckle on her purse before meeting Oliver’s stares, “Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself.”

“So thank me, is what you're saying,” Thea interrupts, never one to pass up teasing her big brother. “I did basically dress him. Can you imagine? 28 and he can't tie a bowtie.”

“Speedy!” Oliver says, obviously offended.

“She's not lying man,” John says, always up for joining in on the embarrass Oliver train. Felicity shakes her head, stepping up hug John in greeting. She hasn't seen him in while, only because he's been too busy at his security company. But he's on their detail tonight so she's glad for her friend’s company.

Eventually Oliver, John and herself start heading for the door, noticing Amy’s pout all the while. Oliver walks back over to her to pick her up and whisper something in her ear, and she doesn't know what it is but is just glad because she starts laughing a minute later. She walks over to them, forming a cocoon around their daughter as they both give her a tight hug then blow kisses on her cheeks. She might hear the click of a camera go off somewhere behind them but she can't be sure.

Saying goodbye to Thea as well, they finally exit the house and somehow Oliver ends up by her side with his hand hovering over the exposed skin of the small of her back. When they're seated in the back seat of the heavily protected SUV, she makes sure to keep some distance between them, mindful of the way he'd been looking at her just now.

At first she makes small talk with Diggle, asking him how Lyla and the twins are, but then a silence fills the space when there's a lull in the conversation. Then Oliver’s speaking, low enough so only she can hear.

“You really do look beautiful,” his thigh moves ever so slightly closer to hers and she doesn't even think he notices, his focus entirely on her face.

“Thank you, again.” And because she is who she is, Felicity opens up her mouth again and asks, “Where's your date?” He'd called the day before saying that he'd be willing to just let John drive the both of them to the hotel that the event is being kept. But she hadn't thought much of it til now though.

“What date?” His eyebrow lifts in curiosity but before she can answer he asks another question. “Felicity do you think I'm seeing someone?”

“Well… the other night when I was on the phone with you, there was this woman and I thought… you know,” she stumbles out, figuring there's no point in going around it or acting like she doesn't know what he's talking about.

“That was a member of my staff. We'd been going over the details of the trip and I said I needed 2 minutes to call you because I hadn't heard your voice the whole day.”

“Oh,” is all she manages, cheeks heating up at his words. She wasn't expecting that, at all.

“Yeah,” he nods, and she might be seeing things but she swears his eyes flicker to her lips. When she looks down at the space between them, she's surprised to see that it's gone. She doesn't make an attempt to move.

“So, uh… what about you?” Oliver queries, body rocking as they pass over a rough patch on the road. His shoulder brushes hers and she sinks in a breath in hopes that he hadn't noticed.

Swallowing before answering, Felicity whispers, “What about me?”

“Are you see-”

“We're here.”

Their moment is shattered as the vehicle screeches to a halt, and the question goes unasked and unanswered as Oliver let's out a groan in quiet frustration. Diggle had stopped by a service entrance so as to avoid collision with the throng of people at the main entrance awaiting arrivals of the 1 percenters attending the launch party tonight. After the whole gossip debacle from the weekend, John had thought it best if they avoided that all together. She had been in agreement.

All 3 of them exit the car, Oliver helping her out as she steps down from the high vehicle. Once she's on her feet she drops his hand, honestly kind of thrown off by the way he's behaving tonight. It's not like he's never looked at her the way he has a few moments ago, but paired with what he’d said a little while ago, something feels different and it unsettles her.

The 3 of them make their way through the service entrance onto the main floor of the event and Felicity is glad to divert from him for a moment to see that everything is in order. After making sure everything is fine, she gets swepted up in conversations with the attendees at the party.

Felicity genuinely can not tell how long she's up and about talking to investors and members of boards and representatives of companies interested in the chip, but she gets lost in that world, lost in what she's here to do. This is after all why the event is being held. To make people see that it's happening and for companies to be interested in a seat at the table. Once everyone is interested, then that's where it can actually start happening. That's when the phenomenon can catch a frenzy. That's when she can help her mother.

After a little while, she quietly finds an abandoned table and sits there, drawing in a couple breaths to slow her racing heart. She thinks about all the faces she's seen tonight and comes to the realization that she hadn't caught sight of Oliver since she arrived. She slides her phone from her purse, checking the time which notifies her that that'd been 2 hours ago. She wonders if he'd left, but then she shakes that thought away because he wouldn't do that to her.

A throat clearing above her has her looking up and she has to hold back her groan of annoyance as Adrian greets her. “Ms. Smoak. I haven't seen you all evening. You look absolutely mesmerizing, by the way.” Felicity stands, never quite comfortable with looking up at anyone anymore than she already has to with her height.

“That's strange because I've been here all night. And thank you Adrian. You look handsome as well.”

Adrian just smiles, shiny white teeth on full display as he sticks his arm out, “Well I'm ashamed I didn't notice you sooner for you are a sight to behold. May I have this dance Ms. Smoak?” he motions to the dance floor where a few couples are swaying to the soft jazz playing.

 _No…_ is really the first thing that flies through her head but she nods her consent, knowing that she can say no but not wanting to come off rude anyhow.

They make their way to the centre of the room and the first thing she does is put space between them, hand grasping one of his while the other attaches to his shoulder. His other hand lands on near the top of her back. A whole person could probably stand in the space she's created.

She begins talking before he has a chance to steer the conversation somewhere she doesn't want it. “Have you spoken to anyone yet? The ones I’ve spoken to - and that’s a lot -  seem pretty interested and I suspect that they'll be interested in the marketing, production and distribution of the chip once we reach those stages.”

“I have indeed and they've been quite receptive, although…” he trails off, not meeting her gaze as he looks over his shoulder.

“Although what?” she prompts, uncertain of where he's going with this.

“Just… a few persons expressed concerns with the software of the product.” he says slowly, speaking to her as if she's a child, “But not to worry. I assured them that your software is the best in the country.”

“The world,” she corrects, shaking her head as she contemplates his words. She's spoken to almost everyone here and none of them have expressed any such concerns. And it's not a ‘trying to preserve her feelings’ thing either. These will tell you you're worthless in front of your face, so she knows for sure that Chase is lying. Why though, she's unsure of. Which really just adds to her already steady conclusion not to trust him.

“Well, you see, at Kord Industries, we're actually-”

“Hey you mind if I cut in for a minute?” Oliver’s voice washes over them and she sends a silent prayer to God for the interruption because she's honestly had enough of Chase. And it's the not just the relief of not being around Adrian, it’s the relief of finally seeing him after she hadn't all night. The uneasiness from earlier at him disappears and the space that she'd wanted seems almost ludacris now. She might not know what’s happening with him and why he’s so forward with her tonight but she does know that all she wants is to be in best friend's arms right now, even though she knows that not only is it a bad idea, but that she shouldn't want it so much.

“Mayor Queen,” Adrian says, self-confident smile on his face and she… honestly doesn't get men. “Of course you can. Enjoy the rest of your evening Ms. Smoak. We'll have to grab coffee sometime.”

He steps away shortly after before disappearing behind the crowd of people. Oliver takes his place, but where Adrian and herself had been stiff and uncomfortable, her body molds into his as if on instinct. Almost every inch of her is in contact with him.

“What was that about?” he questions, then winces as he catches himself, “Sorry, didn't mean to pry.”

But Felicity is shaking her head where it's resting on his chest. She breathes in the intoxicating smell of his cologne, and her eyes flutter shut for a second as she imagines it all around her.

“It's fine. We were just talking about the chip. That's really all we talk about,” she says, finding the need to add that last part for some reason. She knows that it's because she wants to give him at least a little peace of mind.

He hums instead of answering and the action makes his chest vibrates beneath her cheek. They stay on the floor for a while, swaying almost dreamily within each other's arms. A tiredness slips into her bones and she’s glad she’s in Oliver arms because otherwise she'd be dead on her feet. After a while, the need to pee has her excusing herself reluctantly from him.

She heads to the bathroom to relieve herself, freshening up and checking her reflection when she's done as well. When she's walking back towards the main floor, turning the last corner, she halts and shuffles back behind it as she glances Oliver’s back and Chase before him as the speak.

“--after what you said about her you have the nerve to dance with her as if you hadn't accused her of being a gold digger? As if you hadn't brought our daughter into it too?”

“I don't know what you're talking about Mayor Queen. Have you had anything to drink today? You might want to hold off for a bit. I could get you some water if you'd like.”

“Just stay away from her,” Oliver finishes threateningly. Felicity’s phone slips from her fingers and the bang it makes on the floor sounds far louder than anything she's ever heard in her life. Both their heads snap around to her and Oliver’s eyes widen when he realizes what she probably just heard.

“I…” he begins, obviously unsure how to end it. Felicity ignores him, feeling her heart rip apart the more she looks at him. Her eyes sting with unshed tears as emotions that she doesn't know how to name runs through her. She fixes her eyes on Chase instead. As she's about to open her mouth, a loud boom echoes throughout the entire floor and a moment later darkness surrounds her.

Her heart drops to her stomach, and then the only thing that fills the air is the sound of bullets raining down.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess everything DID blow up in her face huh?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity come face to face with danger at the development launch party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. CON WEEKENDS? AM I RIGHT?
> 
> I'd like to apologize for updating a day late. I literally could not get any work done, but here's the chapter finally! ENJOY

Star City - Over 5 Years Ago

 

Oliver’s pretty sure his hand is broken. He can't really be 100% positive but pain shoots up his fingers each time he tries to flex it. He guesses it’s just a few bones that might just be sprained though and he could get it checked out, seeing as he is in a hospital, but that would mean leaving this room and that's the last thing he wants to do.

Felicity lays almost rigidly in the hospital bed before him where he’s situated in a slightly uncomfortable hospital chair, eyes closed as she's finally allowed the sleep she’s been deprived of after 7 hours of labor. It's almost as if she doesn't want to be asleep, doesn't want to miss out on anything pertaining the angel nestled in his arms. He knows Felicity well enough now to know that that's exactly it. She hadn't said so 2 hours ago when he'd been trying to convince her to rest, but from the way she had looked at their nugget before reluctantly handing her over to him, getting comfortable and closing her eyes, there was no mistaking it.

His eyes circle back to their little miracle, taking on the familiar path that he'd caught on since Felicity had been asleep. His attention has been split between them both and he’s aware that that's how it's going to be from now on. He isn't complaining in the slightest, though he also knows he's going to have to learn how to adjust. He's going to have to learn  _ a lot  _ of things.

He's already taught himself quite a few things along with learning stuff from Felicity herself, but he should probably be more scared of what the future holds for them, right? He's just 23 for christ sake. There's nothing easy about raising a child, nothing simple about a whole other human being relying on you to live. There's sleep that he can already see himself missing out on, tiredness already seeping into his bones at the thought of the adventure he's about to embark on.

But there's also this buzz beneath his skin that hasn't left since the first time their nugget’s cry had filled the room after she had taken her first breath. There's this giddiness in his stomach that has taken over whatever fear that might be trying to gnaw at him. The only thing he's able to see, the only thing that's worth seeing and caring about right now is the tiny creation settled on the cradle of his arm and her mother stirring in her sleep every few minutes 2 feet away from them.

His right hand - the one that was almost crushed by Felicity a few hours ago - reaches down to stroke the short curly wisp of light brown hair on their daughter’s head, taking care not to stir her in her own slumber. She'd been wide awake while Felicity had her, big blue eyes surveying everything around her, probably already light years ahead of him with her understanding of the world. They'd cooed over her, unable to keep their eyes off her and their hands from being in constant contact with her. But as soon as Felicity had yawned 3 times in a row and he'd insisted she get some rest, little nugget had passed out as well, not even 5 minutes after being in his arms. He doesn't blame her. Felicity is much more interesting.

He doesn't think he's seen anything as beautiful as her though, not since Felicity, and he's completely mesmerized by her. He just knows that she already has him wrapped around her little fingers.

Oliver’s also aware that she can't understand him, but he opens his mouth anyhow, needing somehow to say what he has to say out loud to her. He whispers down at his angel’s tiny sleeping form, “Little Nugget - we're probably going to have to decide on a name because I don't think you'll like being called a food - I know we've only known each other for 3 hours 5 minutes and 45 seconds… but I love you so much already. I've loved you for much longer but now that you're finally here I can't stop looking at you. My heart feels like it's throwing up.

“And, look, I know I haven't always been the most responsible guy, but I promise to never stop trying. Everything I do now I realize is for you. Everything that has happened in my life has led to this moment and it's absolutely perfect. You're perfect. You and your mother have made me better these past few months but I know I can do even better. I promise I'll make you proud to call me your…” he stops, swallowing harshly before finally saying the word, “Father. I'll keep you safe and protected and happy. I promise you, Amelia.”

He stutters out a breath as the name as it falls from his lips, something that he hadn't expected. Felicity and him had kept the baby’s gender unknown, but had picked out a few names in both cases. For a girl the final list of names was Elizabeth, Amelia and Adelaide. The boy list was Noah, William and Ethan. Felicity had taken a liking to Amelia but he wasn't really that into it because he always thought it would be a boy. But just now when he'd said it so unconsciously, it felt  _ right _ , like she was meant to be called that.

He looks down at her, eyes trailing over the soft, unweathered skin of her chubby cheeks and he just  _ knows _ . This is Amelia.  _ His  _ Amelia.

“So you finally agreed to Amelia, huh? I knew I'd win you over,” Felicity’s sleepy voice croaks out, and his head snaps up to look at her. The smile that has been on his lips since their nugget took her first breath widens, and he shifts up to the edge of the seat so there's only about a feet of space between them from her position on the bed, the baby still carefully settled in his arms.

Felicity’s face is soft and happy, a clear contrast to the pain wretched expressions that had been there just a few hours ago. Her clear blue eyes remain fixed on him, blonde hair fanning out beneath her head in a halo like manner. Her lips are pink and slightly chapped, likely due to her nap. But she's beautiful, even so with the bags under her eyes and the clear exhaustion still marking her features. The hospital gown and sheets cover the rest of her body that he knows is still aching and sore from the exertion she had to put herself through for hours on end.

“It's a good name,” he finally agrees, watching as she tries to shift up slightly on bed. The entire room is quiet, nothing but the outside noises of the hospital behind the room’s closed door thrumming by unnoticed. There's a trickle of light dew beating in the late night outside against the glass windows of the room, and he glances over at the clock above the bed, noting that it's 12:02 am. Now the day after his child was born - though only a few minutes, still technically the day after November 27 - Amelia’s birthday. He commits the date to memory but he knows deep down that it's a day he'll never forget no matter what.

“So, it's Amelia then? Amelia Queen?” she's now upright, stretching her hands out in a sign that she wants to hold the baby in question. He eases her into her arms, only slightly reluctant to let her go, but figuring he'll get plenty of time with her for years to come.

Shifting forward so much that he's almost no longer on the chair but on the edge of the bed, Oliver watches them, taking in the way Felicity’s attention zeroes in on her tiny face where she's resting against her chest. Her thumb begins running over her soft cheeks, the moment delicate and oh so beautiful to watch. “Amelia Smoak-Queen,” he corrects, wanting and needing her to know that their baby should bare both their names.

She doesn't turn her gaze, but her smile grows as she repeats his words, “Amelia Smoak-Queen... It's… it’s perfect.”

And she's right, not just about the name, but everything right now in this moment in time. He'd freeze it if he could, take this thing and put it in a safe place so he can revisit in whenever, because this feeling he's experiencing is unlike anything he's ever felt. And he knows Felicity feels the same way too, if there's any indication by the smile on her face and the look in her eyes.

“It  **is** perfect,” he agrees, voice coming out way more emotional than he meant for it to. Felicity looks up at him, surprise evident in the reflection of her eyes. Before he knows what she's doing, her body is gingerly shifting to the side, obviously an invitation for him to join her properly on the bed. Never one to resist her advances, he settles himself on the bed beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulder as he does so. She then shifts over against him, half of her back situated along his torso. But he doesn't mind. He  _ really _ doesn't mind.

“I can't believe she's here,” Felicity murmurs, awe unmistakable in her slightly hoarse voice, the overuse from earlier having affected it.

“A whole week early too. Are you sure she's mine? Cause Queens are never early,” her eyes widen as she huffs out a breath in mock offence before lightly hitting him on his thigh, having grown quite used to his humor by now. Felicity had been at home earlier that day and by some strange luck, so was he. He was making her a snack for early lunch when she'd screamed and the horror that had gone through him at the thought that she was hurt is something he never wants to feel ever again. He'd dropped everything to get to her, only to notice a moment later when he ran into the living room that her water had broke. Everything else is kind of a blur from there, something having taken over him so much so that he doesn't understand where it came from. All he knows is that he got her to the hospital safe and sound, and now here they are.

“Hey, she gets it from me, okay? I'm full of surprises and she's obviously following my lead.”

“You sure are,” he hears himself say, and Felicity turns her stare towards him a second later, searching his eyes for  _ something.  _ But as she looks him, and he at her, that same feeling returns. That same line begging to be crossed, that same question begging to be answered, that same kiss begging to be had. Ever since that day when he'd given her a massage, they'd hadn't quite put themselves in a situation for it to happen again. Him too afraid he'll screw things up, and she, he supposes, too afraid to get hurt.

Though nothing has happened, the want hadn't lessened. The desire had only sparked and he's dreamt endlessly to taste her lips. But with everything going on, it was never the right time, never the appropriate situation.

Walls had went up, and he hadn't bothered to knock them down because he wasn't sure he was supposed to. Now though? As he looks into her eyes, taking in the way her gaze flickers to his lips before returning once more to his stare, he can almost hear them tumbling down and he's right there pulling apart each block until there's nothing there.

“Oliver,” falls from her lips, her voice sounding like liquid gold to his ear. He unconsciously moves closer to her, only a breath of air separating them.

And then Oliver thinks that maybe this is it. Maybe this is how it was meant to happen - how  _ they _ were supposed to happen. After months of getting to know each other, albeit it the most unconventional way possible, maybe this was finally the start of them.

His heart doesn't know what to do with itself, beating entirely too fast and too slow at the same time. His ears don't work for anything other than the huffs of nervous air falling from her lips, fanning out on his face a few times. His skin heats up, but he ignores it, focus entirely on the woman before him and the moment that's about to happen.

Happy doesn't even begin to describe how he's feeling, and then he thinks about that one emotion that he's been feeling for a while now but had been unable to name. It doesn't seem so foreign anymore, he doesn't feel so afraid to admit it to himself. He holds his tongue though, somehow conscious enough to know that he needs to really think about it first and that it's not the right time for it.

Oliver stays a breath away from her lips, waiting for her to close that final distance, needing her to take that final step. Her eyes flutter close, prompting him to do the same a second later. He waits with bated breath for it to happen, he waits for her lips to touch his.

And then it happens.

The touch is hesitant and unsure, wanting to persist but fearing for more. Her lips tremble minutely against his, and a small part of him suggests stopping, that maybe she doesn't really want this. But then Felicity’s lips become steady against his, never one to chicken out of doing the things she longs to do. Oliver only wants to feel her, to hear her, to taste her.

His hand flies up to capture her face, needing to be in contact with some other part of her to know this is real. Her cheek is warm under his skin, seeping into his palm and travelling down his arm.

Then Oliver kisses her like he means it, putting aside his own hesitancy and fear. His hand tilts her head up towards him and it must embolden her because her persistence grows by way of  her lips pressing harder into his.

Her lips are the sweetest thing he's ever tasted, and he's only gotten a second of it but he's already addicted. A small moan leaves her lips as he pulls back, but then he's diving back in, something snapping within him by her small display of desire.

His tongue peaks out to run along her lips, and not a moment later she's opening up to allow it to intertwine with hers. Her own free hand flies to the back of his head, running along and tugging on the short strands of hair by the nape of his neck. It sets his already ablaze skin on fire, the blood pumping within his veins like a siren in his ear. Their tongues mingle and mash against each other, an ecstasy he's never felt before bubbling deep within him.

He never wants to stop, he really doesn't, but he knows Amelia will stir awake any minute now, seeking both their attention. So Oliver reluctantly slows down the kiss, pulling back once and then twice, leaving feather light brushes against her wet, swollen lips.

Their foreheads stay touching for a minute, both of them catching their breaths.

“That was…” Felicity starts, voice coming out short and affected and if he smiles smugly to himself for being to cause of it, well, you can't really blame him.

“Yeah,” he finishes, knowing that there's really no words for it. That's the best kiss he's ever had, which is saying quite a lot considering the type of guy he was before Felicity - something he tries hard not to think about nowadays because that's just not who is anymore or who he wants to be.

Oliver opens his mouth again, figuring that they actually need to talk about what just happened, and about  _ them _ . “Felicity, look I really li-”

Felicity’s finger flies to his lips, shushing him before he can go any further. “Oliver, how about we not talk about any of this right now okay? I just pushed out a whole other human being. I'm kinda just looking forward to staring at her face for another couple of hours and sleeping. And maybe kissing you a couple more times.”

She wiggles her eyes as she finishes, playfully suggestive and yeah, he gets it. They have time. They don't need to talk about any of this right now. Plus Amelia is really fun to look at. “I like the way you think,” he dips his head down for a kiss, tasting her once more but stopping himself before it even begins going anywhere.

There's a knock on the door that jolts them from their little bubble, and it wakes Amelia as her eyes finally pop open. After assuring that she's fine, they both turn their heads towards their intruder, recognizing her as one of the nurses that had been attending to Felicity just a few hours ago.

The woman steps inside, and he doesn't know why, but her whole body language screams ‘something is wrong.’ Still, he doesn't get ahead of himself, waiting for her to speak instead of jumping to conclusions. Felicity’s face is blank, and if she notices that something's wrong too, she doesn't show it.

The young woman clears her throat before speaking, “Ms. Smoak, Mr. Queen, my apologies for interrupting.”

Felicity shakes her head before assuring her, “It's fine. Is there something we need to sign or…?” she trails off.

The woman, whose name tag reads Angela, speaks once more, “No- Well, yes, but not right now. I was sent to ask if you are related to a Donna Smoak from Las Vegas.”

Felicity’s eyes light up, head shifting up and to the side to look behind Angela, obviously expecting her mother to barge in any minute, “Yes, it's my mom. I expected her hours ago. Can you send her in, please?”

Felicity’s already readying herself for her mother to come into the room, but that same thing from a moment ago returns, only he doesn't know how to voice it and what the hell  _ it _ is. He waits for the other shoe to drop, realizing that of course something bad had to happen. Of course happiness had to be yanked from him before he'd even really tasted it.

Angela speaks again, “Actually Ms. Smoak, your mother was admitted an hour ago after a car accident. She's in surgery right now following some complications. I was sent to inform you since you were her emergency contact. I'm truly so sorry, Ms. Smoak.”

And she then turns and exits, bringing the happiness that had filled up the room with her.

 

Star City - Present Day

 

Oliver’s ears are ringing. He can't see, and every hair on his skin is standing on edge. It takes a minute for his mind to realize what's happening, and even longer to communicate to his body to  _ move.  _

But he can't. There are bullets flying past him, and he doesn't know what or who the target is. What he does know though is that Felicity was a few feet before him and if it takes one of those bullets finding home in his skin just so he can get to her then it's completely worth it.

So Oliver gets down into a near crouch, pushes aside all of the panic that's bubbling within his bones and focuses on locating the most important person here, to him anyway.

“Felicity,” he whispers, desperate not to draw any attention to them. Now that his eyes have adjusted to the darkness, he can make out the slight silhouette of her body against the wall she'd just walked out from behind a moment ago.

Her body is curled in on itself, probably in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. She doesn't react to him at all, head ducked down into her arms to shield her face from view. He stops before her, reaching a hand to her arm to get her to look up at him. But her entire body jolts at the contact, and she hastily backs away from him, obviously thinking she's in danger.

“Hey, hey, hey, Felicity. It's just me. It's Oliver.”

She stops, and he wishes so bad that he could  _ see _ so he could make out the expression on her face, but the lights are still out around them. “Oliver?” she echoes, almost like she doesn't believe it, voice small and panicked in a way that she's trying not to show.

“I'm here,” he stretches his hand out in the space between them, letting her decide whether or not to touch him, not wanting to push his presence upon her in the state she's in. Eventually her hand molds within his, skin still soft and delicate like he's used to. He breathes out a sigh of relief, at a loss for what he would've done if something were to have happened to her before he'd reached her. “Let's get out of here.”

He sees the silhouette of her head nod, standing hesitantly in her impossibly high heels, and then they're moving towards the hallway that takes them back towards the service door they'd entered through.

Before they can reach the door however, the lights flicker back on and the bullets stop raining. His vision is overshot for a few seconds, and his eyes flicker open and close a couple times in an attempt to clear the whiteness covering his eyesight.

“Where's Adrian Chase?”

Both Felicity and himself spin around to face the owner of the rough, modulated voice behind them. The man is dressed in what looks to be black combat gear, decked out in bulletproof clothing and several compartments hardly hiding the weapons attached to them. He has a high grade military gun trained on them, and Oliver instinctively takes a step in front of Felicity so that she's no longer in his line of fire. Her hand is still interlocked in his, squeezing so tight it almost shuts off his blood circulation.

He can feel the fear coming off in waves from her, and he curses himself for not getting them out of there fast enough. But he tries to appeal the man, unsure of whether or not he intends to use his weapon. “Hey man, please, put the gun down. No one has to get hurt.”

But that was the quite obviously the wrong thing to say, because the man takes a step closer and growls out, “I decide whether or not anyone gets hurt here.”

Oliver raises his hand up in a placating manner, trying his absolute best not to upset him because he sees no other way out of here. He opens his mouth to say something else, not entirely sure what that would've been, but closes it on a snap when Felicity’s small but unsurprisingly strong voice calls out, “Why are you after Adrian?”

He doesn't necessarily want to stand here and have small talk with a criminal, but he recognizes her question for what it is - a way to buy them some time. Felicity takes a step forward, now not nearly as shielded by his body as he'd like, but a burst of pride rushes through him, her strength something that'll make his heart warm even with a gun pointed to them, it seems.

The man's attention turns to her, eyeing her up and down in a way he knows sends chills down both their spines. “Like hell we know. The services of my men and myself are bought and we get paid. We don't know who buys it, and we could care less. Now answer my question. Where's Adrian Chase? This is the last place the security camera saw him head.”

He doesn't have to look at Felicity to know her brows are furrowed in confusion, but he keeps his gaze on the man before them, his anger boiling beneath. “He was around here, but he must've ran when he heard the gunshots. He could be long gone by now.”

The man lets out a few curses in frustration, likely coming to the conclusion that he'd failed his ‘mission’. With his attention on his failure, Oliver begins backing up, making tiny step after tiny step while his hand is still folded within Felicity’s. He glances behind them, the door  _ so  _ close-

“Hey, where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you!”

Yet  _ so  _ far.

Oliver sighs under his breath, glancing towards Felicity and taking in the fear still deep within her eyes covered up by forced control. He squeezes her hand in reassurance, though unsure of how he's going to get them out of this now that the man has all his focus on them.

“You're the CEO of Smoak Tech aren't you? And Mayor Queen. It's hard to forget pretty faces like yours.”

Not wanting to play into whatever game he's trying to start, but knowing he has no choice right in this moment, Oliver cuts to the chase, “What do you want?”

The man's face clouds in mock contemplation, gun still pointed to them as he asks, “You're 2 of the richest people in Star City and since our job tonight was a bust, I don't think we're getting paid. I figure you two can make up for that. I want 1 million. For each member of my team.”

Felicity’s voice echoes, “And how many members do you have on your team?”

The man smiles, grin sickly and eerily uncomfortable to look at, “Oh, just 7. But I know 7 million isn't shit to bitches like you.”

Oliver’s shaking his head before he can even process that. There's no way they're doing this, “No.”

The grin slips from the man's face, and that anger that'd been obviously bubbling beneath erupts on the surface. Oliver takes a step back, prompting Felicity to do the same. “No? The fuck do you mean no? You know what I think you need? Some incentive.”

Faster than he could've processed right then, the man levitates over to them, harshly grabbing hold of Felicity’s arm. The sight of his glove covered large hands on her delicate skin has Oliver seeing red, pure hatred and anger pumping through every vein in his body. With a strength greater than he'd ever imagined himself possessing, Oliver’s hand forms into a fist and he throws it until it collides with the man’s half covered face. The loud cracking sound it makes is far more satisfying than it should be.

“Let her go,” he screams, watching as the man careens back from the force of the punch and he grabs hold of Felicity before she stumbles with him. He thanks his lucky stars that he works out at his home gym daily because the blood pouring out from the man's noise is obviously a testament to that.

A whimper falls from Felicity’s lips and he turns his attention to her, her face still strong but obviously shaken by the strength that she'd been pulled with just now. Ducking down slightly so he's at eye level with her, Oliver questions, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, are you-”

“You son of a bitch!”

Both their gazes snap once more to their intruder with his gun pointed on them, finger placed on the trigger. And Oliver  _ knows _ that he's going to use it this time around.

For a moment, all he sees is Amy and Felicity’s smiles. It makes his next move both easier and harder at the same time.

Without a thought, he steps in front of Felicity, only vaguely hearing her panicked, “Oliver, no!”

The sound of the gun going off is the only thing that echoes within the space for a few seconds, and then confusion fills him as he looks down at his body. He doesn't feel any sting of pain, nor does he see any evidence of him getting shot. When he looks back towards the man, he stops short when he sees his limp lifeless body on the ground, blood seeping from the bullet wound by what looks to be the back of his head.

And then Oliver raises his gaze even more, and he's never been happier to see John Diggle in his life. Felicity's sigh of relief and then quiet horror when she sees the man's dead body doesn't go unnoticed by him, and he longs to offer her some comfort but knows that right now isn't the right time.

John’s gun is still poised in his hands, ready to protect them at a moments notice. After checking behind the 2 other hallways and ensuring that no one's there, he faces them, “Let's go, through the service door!”

Not having to be told twice, they start jogging through the door and then through another hallway and service room until they hit the fresh air of the late night. Oliver lets out a breath of air, relief, exhaustion and every other emotion he's feeling intertwined in that one exhale. His hand just now begins to throb and he looks down at it, noticing the blood on his knuckles, some of it seeming to be his.

“SCPD is by the front of the building. They'll want your statements. That was the last of the men, the rest of them got away once they couldn't find their target.”

But Oliver’s attention is on Felicity, trying to decipher what's going on through her mind. She nods at Diggle, draws in a steadying breath and then starts walking. Her hand leaves his and she doesn't even glance at him as they head to their destination.

 

**

 

“Just keep the ice on it for a little while longer, Mr. Queen.” Oliver nods, barely even paying attention to the man treating his sprained knuckle. His other hand runs over his beard in quiet thought from where he's seated in the back of an ambulance. His focus, however is completely spent on Felicity 20ft away from him where she's giving her statement to a woman who he remembers as Detective Dinah Drake. 

The entire front entrance is filled with the attendees from the party, all thankfully unhurt except for a busboy, who to a lot of them he knows, is practically no body. The shots that had went off had just been warning shots with no intended target and the boy had been unlucky enough to get shot in his leg. Most of them have already given their statements and have left.

Oliver’s mind runs over the night and one thing still especially remains unclear. No one has seen Chase, and it scares him a little because he was literally right next to him when things went haywire. Still, he knows finding him isn't his job, but rather that of the police.

Aside from that, he hasn't had time to think about anyone else except for Felicity, who even from here, he can tell her whole posture is stiff and tense. Her arms are crossed protectively around her body, a couple shivers running down her spine in the cool night air. He makes a note to himself to give her his jacket once she's done.

A second later, Detective Drake points towards him and Felicity glances behind to look at him as well. Her face is straight and closed off and he curses himself because he managed to screw up yet again. They go back to speaking once more, the detective jotting down a few things in her little book every so often.

But Felicity doesn't look back at him again and he's reminded of how horribly things had gone from bad to worse a while ago. She'd found out about what happened with Chase and him in the worst way possible and he knows that had she not been scared, he would've gotten a taste of her loud voice.

He doesn't even really know how to approach her or even how to begin to apologize. He does know that what happened had left both of them shaken and there's no denying that he needs her. Partially he knows that she needs him too, even if it's not in the way he wants.

He'd always known that he needed her and that he'd do anything for her, but when he'd stood in front of that gun, it a brought on a whole new meaning those words. It's clear as day to him, just like his love for her. And it kills him that she probably doesn't want to look at him right now.

His phone buzzes in his pocket with a reply from Thea after he'd texted her to ask if Amy had gotten wind of what happened. He doesn't want her to worry about them, but he knows she will regardless. Thea’s text informs him that she'd just told her that something had happened, and even though their little nugget had tried to stay up so she could greet them, she'd fallen asleep some time after. At least that's one less thing to worry about tonight.

When he returns his gaze back to where Felicity was, it's to see her and Diggle approaching him. He quickly thanks the man that was attending to him before standing and meeting them halfway.

“Are you ready?” Diggle asks, and from the way he eyes both of them, Oliver can tell he knows that something is going on. He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Yeah, let's head to Felicity’s,”

Before they can step off, he removes the jacket from around his shoulders and holds it up to Felicity in invitation. At first she seems hesitant, not wanting to want his offer, but knowing she needs it anyway. After a second she nods then turns, and he carefully places it over her shoulders, the fabric dwarfing her small body.

An uncomfortable silence settles around the 3 of them as they make their way back to the car. Once settled inside and moving, Oliver opens his mouth, figuring he should ask Diggle more information about what happened.

“Diggle, does SCPD have any clue who set this up? And why they set it up tonight?”

From his position at the wheel, Oliver sees his friend shake his head, “No clue. They're trying to work it from the known enemies angle, but Chase had quite of few of them. They're also unsure of who would have enough motive to do what happened. As for why they did it tonight, I don't know. To sabotage his business deal?”

Felicity’s cold hard voice has him turning to her as she speaks, “Well, from what I hear one of his enemies is right here in this vehicle.”

Oliver’s heart dips, and he shuts his eyes as the force of her words hits him. He knows that she isn't actually implying that he did it, but she's hurt and Felicity always lashes out when she's hurt. Diggle, bless his heart, makes a confused noise as he asks, “What do you mean?”

Felicity sits up from her spot next to him, several inches of space separating them, “Oh you know, just Chase accused me of being a gold digger - and I suspect more - and brought Amy into it. And Oliver never told me. In fact, he probably made me appear like an idiot working with a man who likely thinks I'm incompetent. But yeah, Chase must've said some horrible things about him and about myself and Amy. That's why they hate each other.”

Diggle eyes him from the rear view mirror, the disappointment in his eyes unmistakable. Oliver opens his mouth, needing to try somehow to salvage the mess that he's made. “It's more complicated than that Felicity. You have to believe that.”

His eyes are pleading with her, desperate for her to understand that he hadn't meant to hurt like she obviously feels he did.

“How long ago did it happen?”

He sighs, knowing that admitting this won't help in the slightest. It'll make things worse. “Felicity-”

“How long ago, Oliver?”

“A little over three months ago.” He finally admits, because what good would lying or holding back the truth do at this point?

Felicity lets out a laugh, the sound forced and harsh, disbelief at his words obvious. “3 months ago? You had 3 months to tell me and you didn't? I thought we told each other everything-” She stops, eyes flicking over to Diggle before shaking her head and looking out the window, not wanting another person to be partial to this conversation and quite done with it for now. He gets it.

The rest of the drive remains tense and uncomfortable, and when Diggle finally pulls up to Felicity’s house, Oliver sighs tiredly, glad the ride is over, but aware that the night isn't done yet. Felicity is out of the car before they can utter a word, whispering a good night to Diggle then heading inside.

Oliver makes for the door but is stopped by Diggle’s voice.

“You know you have to apologize, right?”

Oliver nods, indeed aware of that, “I know, man.”

“I know why you did what you did, and  _ you _ know why you did what you did. But it's obvious she doesn't. Maybe it's time to tell her.”

He shakes his head, positive that that's the worse thing he could do right now, “No, John. I can't tell her that. It's not the right time. And it has nothing to do with that, not really. I just didn't see the point in making what Chase did public knowledge at the time it happened.”

“So you didn't keep this from the woman you love to spare her feelings? So she wouldn't have to hear what people are saying about her? So you didn't have to see her hurt?”

Oliver doesn't answer, instead eyeing the house as lights are flipped on by Felicity inside. He knows that he can't handle the truth right now, maybe at another time, but not now. He also knows that neither can Felicity, not for a while if he's being honest.

“Oliver, man, if you don't tell her now then I think you should give her some space. Apologize then give her some space. Let her work it out on her own.”

He nods, not really sure of what he's  _ actually _ going to do. “Night Dig,” he says, pushing the door shut and watching as his friend drives off.

Oliver steps inside the quiet house, passing by the living room and finding his little sister asleep on the sofa. It brings a smile to his face, the first genuine one since his dance with Felicity before the night had went to hell. Stepping around the couch, he turns the TV off before scooping her up and heading up the stairs to one of two guest rooms in Felicity’s home. After making sure she's comfortable, he places a soft kiss on her forehead and ducks quietly from the room.

His daughter's room is next to it, and when he peaks through the slightly open door, he spies Felicity sitting on a chair next to her bed watching her sleep. There's a small smile on her face as she gazes at her and when he looks at Amy’s sleeping form next, one forms on his lips as well.

Unable to stop himself, Oliver enters the room. Felicity doesn't react to him entering, but he can spot the tenseness that seeps into her shoulders at his presence. More than anything, he wants to see her smile, and he knows that it's more than just what happened with Chase that has her shaken. She  _ did  _ see a man die less than 2 hours ago. So her anger in the car was rightful and he doesn't blame her one bit, but he's also aware that that's not what's affecting her right now, not really.

He knows Felicity -  they’re each other's best friends before anything else after all - and he knows that while she might seem like she doesn't want him around, there's nothing she wants for more than for him to open up to her and to tell her everything and to just try. So Oliver will try.

He tentatively places a hand on her shoulder and her body jerks  slightly at the contact. But he doesn't remove it, instead, he squeezes her shoulder soothingly, giving her comfort and support and just a small piece of him in the form of physical contact. After a second her hand reaches up to join his and lays it over his knuckle. He winces when it brushes over a cut, realizing that it’s his injured hand. Felicity spins around, hand still in held in hers all the while.

Her face moves closer to it to inspect it, realization dawning on her features when she remembers how he'd gotten the slight injury. Her gaze moves up to his, water filling in her eyes and his heart thuds heavily in his chest at seeing her tears begging to be spilled.

“Thank you,” she mouths, and it’s a thank you for standing up for her against that man. As he's about to answer, Amy shifts in her bed. They look at each other and there's a silent agreement that they should probably talk elsewhere. Both of them place a kiss on her forehead, careful not to wake her and then Oliver follows Felicity’s lead out of their daughter’s bedroom.

He thinks that maybe they'll talk in the living room, but when Felicity turns down hallway to head to the last room on the floor, he gulps harshly. She pushes open her bedroom door, and he follows slowly, still uncertain if she wants him in there as well.

Eventually he enters, finding her sitting on her bed, eyes downcast as she's lost in thought. He stands near the door, not really sure what to say or if he should say anything at all. Felicity takes the decision out of his hands when she speaks however.

“I thought you were going to die tonight.”

She looks up, eyes burning into his, slightly desperate for him to understand what she's saying. He does.

“I was so angry - I  **am** so angry with you, but you stood in front of a gun for me… and then someone was shot in front of us. I'm feeling everything at once but I also don't really know  _ what _ to feel.”

Her voice is low and somewhat broken, and that has him marching over to her. He sits on the bed before throwing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her to him. He expects some resistance from her, but is surprised when she comes willingly. Her whole body goes slack against him, the tension and tiredness slipping from her body. “I know,” he says, not too keen on what else he  _ can _ say at this moment.

“I've never seen a dead body. Up close anyway.”

He has, but there's no point in saying that, so instead he rubs along her arm, hoping that his touch is even a little bit comforting. “It's okay. I'm here. I'm always here.”

He feels her nod against his chest where she'd rested her head. But then a moment later he feels something damp and the realization that she's crying dawns on him. Tonight really did shake her.

He doesn't know how but he vows to fight her demons for her, to be there for her even if she refuses for him to.

Oliver holds her tight, whispering, “It's okay, I'm here,” an uncountable amount of times, praying to some god that she believes him.

At one point he falls asleep, he's not sure when, but she's still in his arms when they both do.

 

**

 

When Oliver wakes up the next morning, confusion swamps him for a good 10 seconds. The room he's in is unfamiliar but also wholly familiar at the same time. Bright early morning sun streams through the windows, almost blinding in the half awake state he’s in. When it hits him that he's in Felicity’s bedroom, on her bed, he's flying up to survey his surroundings.

He knows right away that she isn't in the room and he pushes the disappointment aside in favor of finding her. As he's leaving the room, he spots his jacket that'd he'd lent her last night on a chair, which reminds him that he's still in his suit from the party.

As he's passing by Amy’s room and the guess room that Thea’s using, he checks inside each and blows out a breath of relief when he sees that they're both still asleep.

Landing downstairs, Oliver hears commotion in the kitchen and he heads inside to find Felicity dressed in light blue jeans paired with a black T, hair still damp from a shower, and making coffee. She glances by as he enters, and he doesn't miss the way her eyes run over him involuntarily.

“Morning,” he says, giving her a small smile that she forces out in return. With the light of day reflecting on her features, he can see that her head is a lot clearer than it had been last night. He doesn't know if he should be relieved or terrified by that.

“Morning. Coffee?” she offers, and he nods his head in thanks. He sits on a chair by the breakfast bar and watches as she makes both their cups, hers with far more milk and sugar than he'd ever been comfortable with, and his straight black.

Soon enough, she's laying the cup of coffee before him, then leaning on the island in front of him as she sips slowly on hers. After taking a few drinks himself, he sets the cup down and settles his focus on her, all the while trying to gather his thoughts because he knows now is the time to start talking.

“Look I want to explain what happened first and foremost. I think you deserve that.”

She lowers her cup, searching his eyes for something he's unsure of. “I think I do too. I'm all ears.”

He nods, finding solace in the fact that she doesn't seem outright angry or mad at him. Maybe she's going into this open mindedly. “So during the election, one of my staff told me they got inside information that Chase’s campaign intended to run a smear campaign against me which would include accusations of you sleeping your way to the top. They were going to say that I was the first stepping stone into your ‘gold digging career’. They basically wanted to say none of your accomplishments were yours. They even intended to bring Amy into it, wanted to imply that she wasn't mine and that you blackmailed me.”

He stops there, searching her face for her reaction. She looks slightly pale, the words sickening. He gets it. It's the same way he felt when he'd first heard them himself. But then her face hardens, the anger at Chase in her eyes undeniable. She shakes her head, and he knows she's concocting some plan, but he doesn't ask. Instead waiting for her to give him the go ahead to continue. When she motions for him to, he speaks once more.

“When I found out I was… angry. Really angry. And so I went over to him and I threatened him. I know that wasn't the smartest thing to do but it's what happened. He eventually backed off, said he wasn't going to do it and god, Felicity, I'm so sorry I never said anything. But at the time I thought since no one got hurt I didn't have to.”

Felicity nods her head, deep in thought as she supplies, “So when the news about me working with Chase came out, you thought, what? That this was him going back on his word?”

He thinks about it, running a hand through his hair before he answers, “I mean, I guess so? Like I said before, I acted out of anger when I blew up on you that night. And then when we talked and I apologized, I intended on telling you, Felicity, I  _ swear  _ I was going to. I knew how horrible it was then that I hadn't told you. But then you mentioned your mom and I couldn't do it. Your dream was finally coming true and I didn't want to ruin it. But that was still just an excuse. I see that now. I'm so so sorry for keeping this from you.”

He pleads with her, words seeping with desperation, needing for her to understand that he'd never did anything with the intention to hurt her or to make her look stupid or incompetent.

But Felicity just looks at him before nodding her head, which leaves him unsure if she's accepting his words, or his apology, or both.

“So…” he prompts, trailing off hopefully.

Felicity smiles, the look just a bit too forced to be real. He sighs in defeat. “So I hear you. And I appreciate you telling me now… but I need some time to… think, before I can really accept your apology and forgive you. I'm sorry if that's disappointing to you.” she finishes, of course trying to make him feel better when she shouldn't be making that effort. Her kindness is something that never ceases to amaze him.

But his heart still feels battered and bruised, failing her once again and causing conflict between them again in less than 2 weeks. When will he stop messing up?

John’s words from last night pop up in his mind and he briefly considers taking his advice of telling her how he feels. But then he thinks better of it because what if she doesn't feel the same? What if she just sees him as her best friend and the father of his child and that's it? What if she just thinks he's saying it to make her forgive him, using her emotions to his advantage? None of those situations sound very favourable to him so he holds his tongue and he holds his broken heart.

“I get it. Take all the time you need.”

When she smiles this time, it's far less forced, and he's convinced then that he made the right choice.

Her eyes widen as she remembers something, “Hey, are you still up for taking Amy down today?”

He nods his head, trying to appear okay, “Yeah, of course.”

Just as he agrees, he faintly hears Amy shouting “Mommy! Daddy!” excitedly as she rushes down the stairs to wish them good morning.

 

**

 

Oliver and Amy pull up the building about 2 in the afternoon. Her body hasn't stopped bouncing excitedly since he started driving and he can't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. He gets out of the car before rounding to the backseat and helping her out, her little feet hurrying along to fall in line with his large steps as they make their way to the front door.

Oliver wraps his fingers against the wooden door before bending down to be at eye level with Amy, “Remember, please be on your best behavior. She'll be very happy to see you but don't forget that she can kick you out for being a troublemaker, ma'am.”

She giggles at his words, excitement not lessening in the slightest as she insists, “Silly, she won't kick me out. I'm her favorite!”

“Right you are,” he says, playfully poking her before standing. She pokes him back on his thigh right as the door swings open, and Sally’s bright smile greets them.

“Mr. Queen, Amelia! You're here. She's been talking about you guys all day.” Oliver grins as she steps aside, allowing the both of them to walk in. The home nurse holds out her hand to Amy for a high five, a little routine they've picked up over time.

“Is that my favorite person in the whole wide world?” a voice echoes from across the room and Amy’s running before he can even look at her. She flies up on her lap, using the wheels of the wheelchair she's in as leverage until her arms around her neck in a tight hug.

“Grandma! I missed you!”

Their shared squeals of laughter and happiness echoes throughout the room and Oliver walks over to greet her as well.

With Amy sitting in her lap, her legs unmoving due to her paralysis, Oliver smiles down at the Amy's grandmother, “It's good to see you Donna.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE FEELS.
> 
> let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's determined to find out what happened at the developmental launch party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so, yeah i know i haven't updated in 2 weeks but... i was in a mood. 
> 
> However to make up for that, here's an extra long chapter! 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Star City - 5 years ago

 

Felicity would like to think that her attention span is marginally wide and fairly unlimited. She’d always been confident in her ability to concentrate on multiple things at once and her genius level IQ can attest to the fact that she actually can. She remembers once in high school when she'd tutored a junior, a senior and a college freshman all in one sitting. Sharon Prescott had thrown a fit about the whole thing, something about how she could actually screw up their entire learning process - which hadn't been the case because they'd all expressed how her guidance had led them to being better learners - but that's a whole other story. Point is, she's good at concentrating on things, whether it be one thing at a time or 5 completely varying things simultaneously. 

The fact that the array of papers littered before her are throwing her for a loop is a bit troubling, but also at the same time, not in the slightest.

Felicity lets out a loud sigh, removing her glasses from where it had slipped down her nose and rubbing beneath her eyes, willing her frustration and exhaustion to go away. The muscles in her back burn as she twists her body, finally gaining some reprieve after being in one position for more than 2 hours.

A yawn leaves her lips and she looks back down at the cause of her frustration, frown on her face as she surveys them. She wonders how logical it might be to be malicious towards pieces of papers, especially ones that refuse to bend to her will. The numbers printed on each leaf almost jump out at her, demanding her attention. 

The thing is, it's not the numbers so much that's the problem, or even how to solve them - that type of challenge she's a master of. It's how she's going to turn printed text into physical money that's had her struggling for 2 hours now - and if she's being honest, even more accurately, for a month now.

A whole month since her child has been born - and on a less happier note, a month since her mother has been paralyzed. Having a baby, on its own merit, would've surely drained her pockets, even with the savings she'd managed to accumulate since she started college. She's a serial preparer, always thinking ahead and putting in contingency plan after contingency plan for the probability of anything happening. But it's twice in a little less than a year that she's been thrown a loop, first with the surprise of being pregnant, and now, with her mother being hospitalized.

So it's safe to say that she's broke.

She'd like to think that had her mother not been in the accident that night, she would've managed, that she would have still been able to see to both her child’s needs and herself as well. She's still doing the freelancing, although far less now so she can have time to take care of Amelia, but she's sure she would've found a way to make it all work. She's a genius for Christ sake.

Yet, that's not her reality right now. In fact, it's so far from it. Her actual reality is filled with sleepless nights, long days, never ending stress and a steady flow of hospital bills.  _ God.  _ So. Many. Hospital. Bills.

She's positive the only reason she hasn't drowned in them is because of Oliver. And that's not to say that he's paying any, or that she's taking money from him, but he does his part, pays his half of the expenses when it comes to Amelia, which ultimately is the one thing keeping her afloat. Though she's also aware that he does more than is necessary, knows he sees how she's struggling and often times offers to ‘cover groceries just this time’ or ‘buy twice as much diapers so you don't have to make the trip next time.’ They don't bring it up, though they should, but she clings to those unspoken words, because once it is brought up, then it means she'll have to admit that she's doing a terrible job at being a mother so far. She's not ready to be called out yet.

Felicity sifts through the bills laid out in front of her, blowing a fallen tendril of hair out of her face as it slightly blocks her view.

For the first week, her mother's own money had went into financing her treatment, but the extensiveness of her injuries coupled with the difficulties of the procedures that went into her surgeries had quickly eaten away at that. Now that she's in recovery and on bed rest, Felicity knows that that's another one of the reasons why she isn't up to her shoulders in surgery expenses. They'd done all they could. She'll probably be paralyzed for the rest of her life.

But Felicity still has to pay for her stay and for her day to day care, so in comes the bills, and out goes her sanity and a little bit of her soul, though that had been chipped away the moment she'd seen her mother post surgery that first night.

Felicity squeezes her eyes shut, trying desperately but failing epically not to think about that night, or the guilt that has been eating away at her since. But it's hard not to think about it, especially when she's by herself.

Because at the end of the day, really, what happened was her fault wasn't it? Had her mother not been on her way to see her, this never would have happened. And, yes, she knows there's little she could've done about it. The baby was  _ coming _ , and you can't exactly stop that, but rationality hasn't been her friend for a little while now.

It's like it's crawled into her chest and made a home there, interlocking with the beat of her heart as it sends waves of guilt throughout every pump of blood. Half the time she doesn't know how to breathe.

The only reprieve she gets from it all is with her baby and with Oliver, though she knows she hasn't been very good company as of late.

It's been… challenging to enjoy this new experience of motherhood while her own mother lays in a hospital bed, legs unmoving. Though she's told her time and time again that none of it is her fault, and that she should concentrate on her tiny version of pure joy, Donna Smoak knows her far too well to fall under the assumption that she'll just let that guilt go.

Oliver, bless his heart, doesn't. He tries to cheer her up, to put a smile on her face and erase some of the guilt that's built a home within her. He doesn't push her, but she can tell he doesn't really know what he's doing either. She wishes she could alleviate some of his worry, to ease some of his insularity and assure him that she'll let the guilt go eventually. But that would be a lie and she doesn't take too well to lying to the people she cares about.

So, yeah, she hasn't been the most fun person to be around, either snapping unfairly about the smallest things, or closing off and isolating herself, mostly from Oliver. She'd never had many friends in the Star City to begin with, only her close friend Iris that she'd met a year back, who also happens to live in the neighboring city. She'd had visitors from distant family members on her mom's side, a few childhood friends and a couple from MIT as well. But they'd all come and gone, somewhat immune to her less than pleasant mood. So Oliver had to bare the brunt of it all.

Surprisingly - and also unsurprisingly at the same time, he had taken it all in stride. She's come to realize that had she been in this alone, she would've gone off the rails already.

Her spiral of unsorted thoughts come to a halt as the front door is pushed open, but she doesn't bother turning to see who it is. It's after 6, right around the time Oliver gets home from work. His heavy footsteps can be heard as he makes his way through the small apartment, and he must hear her in the kitchen because a moment later she feels in presence behind her.

“Hey,” his voice calls out, and just that sound alone already lays some of her worries to rest. Not all of them though - never all of them. “Is Amelia asleep?”

He comes around to face her where she's sitting at the kitchen table and Felicity turns her gaze to the tablet before her with the present time display of Amelia’s crib located in her bedroom. Aside from her leg twitching a few times unconsciously, she's still asleep from when she'd put her down before coming to the kitchen to attempt to sort out the paperwork.

“I fed her before so she should be out for a little while longer. But that also means she'll be up tonight,” Felicity responds, eyes flitting back to Oliver as she finally takes him in. His jacket has been discarded, leaving the once crisp white shirt underneath now rumbled and unkempt. His hair is sticking up in varying directions, probably a result of him running his hands through it. His eyes though, are tinted with a tiredness that hasn't quite left since Amelia has been born. She's aware because she knows her own eyes match his.

Though his tiredness is evident, there's no missing the happiness in them either. The joy that'd entered his heart from that moment as well is unmistakable, and it's one of the best parts of this whole experience for her. Watching Amelia and Oliver together is kind of her salvation. It's like home.

“Should be a fun night then,” comes his reply, sarcasm dripping from his words as he pulls the other chair out from the table and plops down into it.

He tries his best to discreetly run his eyes over the hospital bills before her, but she catches his appraisal as soon as he'd been seated. He looks back up at her, and she spots the tiny cringe that runs through him at being caught. His eyes convey his regret and sympathy but she's glad she doesn't see pity there. She doesn't know what she'd do if she saw  _ that. _

As much as Oliver gets her financial struggles right now, he doesn't really  _ get it. _ Sure, he's working hard at his father's company, and sure, he's living a less than lavish lifestyle right now. But those are his choices. He could go back to the Queen mansion today and his parents would accept him with open arms. He could tell them that he doesn't want to work for his father - and though he denies this - they'd still begrudgingly let him try to figure out what he wants to do by himself.

Oliver still has access to his trust fund, more 0's attached to his name than she can even fathom. But she knows he doesn't use it. Ever since he'd taken the job as Junior Manager of Executive Communication at Queen Consolidated, he'd only been using that salary as his source of income. She knows he's not only trying to prove a point to his parents that he's serious about taking care of his child on his own terms and isn't just interested in taking handouts from them, but also trying to prove to himself that he can do it, that he can see it through.

Still, what he makes is far more than what she does, so all he  _ can _ do is attempt to relate to her.

“Any luck?” he finally asks as he motions to the papers on the table, an awkwardness settling around them anytime the bills are brought up. It's always skimmed over, and she figures he asks her as a formality rather than deciding to just not ask it at all. It's like having an elephant in the room and only asking the other person if the space feels a little tight, because then, you acknowledge it, but you're not actually doing anything to solve it.

“About as much luck as spotting a black cat on Friday the 13th,” she forces out a chuckle, the sound coming off as fake even to her ears. That's too bad because forced humor and nonchalance are her forte.

Oliver, for his part, just shakes his head at her, eyes searching hers as it always does when he's trying to figure her out. “Look, I know we don't really talk about this, but I could, you know, offer some assistance with,” he waves his hand around the bills, “all this.”

Well, it looks like now's the moment he wants to talk about the elephant. She'd rather not though. In fact, what elephant?

“No.”

“No?” he questions, face twisted in confusion and slight offence.

Felicity sighs, leaning back in her chair as she rubs under her eyes once more. “Look, I appreciate the offer but I can't.”

“Well why not?” he asks, her answer obviously not obliging him in the slightest. Felicity knows that it's mostly her pride that's keeping her from taking it. What better way to admit to her inability to take care of the people she loves than to accept his offer? She feels like a failure. On top of being the reason why her mother's in this situation, she can't even pay for her journey towards getting better - or rather some semblance of getting better. She's far too stubborn for her own good.

But then she also feels like maybe she's not helping, but rather letting herself become a barrier instead of a leeway. Because here Oliver is, offering to take care of some of the finances, and instead of gratefully accepting it because she  _ needs _ it, she's denying it, for what reason, her pride? Because in some twisted way she feels like she has to bare all the weight seeing as it was all her fault? What is wrong with her?

“I…” she starts, and she has no clue how to finish. Before she knows it tears are slipping from her eyes and cascading down her cheeks, a droplet hitting a sheet of paper and soaking through to create a tiny damp circle.

Oliver’s out of his chair and kneeling before her in seconds. “Hey,” he whispers, hands on her cheek as his thumb rubs away her tears, almost as if he’s collecting each of her worries and guilt and casting them away. “Felicity, hey, what's wrong?”

Her throat feels tight, and it takes her a few swallows to rid herself of that choked up feeling that had taken over her airway. She opens her mouth, words coming out broken and only slightly comprehensible, “I feel like everything's falling apart and I'm barely grasping at any veneer of normality or balance.”

Her breathing is harsh and tight, chest bobbing up and down speedily as she begins to hyperventilate. If she's being honest she knew she would break at some point in time. She hadn't allowed herself to, for Amelia’s sake of course, and a little so she doesn't appear weak in front of Oliver, but it'd had to happen eventually.

She just wishes Oliver didn't have a front row seat to her impending meltdown.

Subconsciously, she makes out Oliver urging her breathe and that everything isn't falling apart, but her ears refuse to work, and her eyes are squeezed shut in an attempt to block everything out.

God she really put her mother in a wheelchair for life didn't she? She really took away her ability to walk again. She's going to need assistance in some way or another for the rest of her life.

She wasn't the one driving the truck that crashed into her mom's cab, but she’s sure as hell the reason she'd taken a cab in the first place.

Fuck, she could've lost her. Her mother could have died, so quickly and simply, her last words to her being, ‘Please don't flirt with the pilot,’ when she'd called her as she was about to board a plan before she went into labour.

Felicity can't breathe, her arms feel like jello by her side and the rest of her body feels numb all the while feeling like hundred pound blocks of stone. Heavy. She knows sobs are falling from her lips, but she can't hear them.

She just… she can't feel anything.

Until she can.

Oliver’s hands on her cheeks haven't moved since he'd put them there, but somewhere in her brain let's her focus on that, focus on the feel on his rough thumb running softly on her cheeks. It happens like water being shaken from your ears. The lag of muted sound lifts slowly and surely until she can make out the soft, worried tenure of his strong voice.

Felicity opens her eyes, and Oliver’s worried face is much closer than she'd realized. His features relax slightly in relief when her eyes meet his and he's talking before she has a chance to put her feelings into words.

“Felicity, you're one of the strongest persons I know. I've seen it first hand. You're brilliant and there's nothing you can't do. But you know what else? You're not alone. You don't have to shoulder all of this by yourself.”

His eyes bore into hers, daring her to belief him, daring her to find fault in his words. It's really no surprise that she does what she does next.

Felicity slants her lips over his, pouring everything she'd felt just now into the action. With him on his knees before her where she's seated, their at an equal height level. Her hand finds the back of his head, tugging on his hair at the nape.

At the back of her mind she's aware that she's not in the right emotional state to be initiating this. With everything that had happened in the past month, they'd had to put  _ them _ or whatever it is that was blossoming between them on hold. She hadn't kissed him since that night in the hospital, and with this one touch she realises how much she's missed it.

More than that though, it's his belief in her that made her heart stutter, shocked and moved that he's confident enough in her to know that she'll get through this. She can't really be blamed that she couldn't help herself.

She's still wound up so tight about everything, still unsure herself about how she'll manage, but he makes it seem not so hard.

Felicity breathes him in, tugging him closer as her other hand slips around his neck.

It takes her a few more seconds to realize that he's not kissing her back.

Panic and embarrassment floods her and she eases back, eyes wide as she looks at him. His eyes are downcast as he avoids her gaze, and she can feel how sheepish he's feeling. Oh god. What had she done? Why hadn't he kissed her back?

“Oliver,” she murmurs, the confusion she's swimming in unmistakable. His stare returns to her, and Felicity gulps when she sees the reflection in his eyes. Had she just ruined everything?

He stands slowly and then returns to his seat, rubbing the back of his neck all the while. She doesn't know if it's because of her touch there just now or out of hesitance.

And then Felicity’s mind betrays her. This was never real was it? This thing between them… was never supposed to happen. Oliver was a one night stand for Christ sake. Here she was thinking that they were on there way towards being together. But they never really were.

Having a baby had their emotions running high, feeling things that weren't real and seeing things in each other that probably wasn't there. How had she missed this? How did she not see that she'd created this unrealistic fantasy that it'd be him and her in the end?

Maybe that's what Oliver had realised. Maybe he'd caught onto it before she did. Or maybe he never felt anything in the first place. God, she's such an idiot.

Words come bubbling from her lips, “I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I kissed you. I can't believe I never saw this. I…” she stops, shaking her head as if clearing the fog that had taken it up, “We were never gonna work were we?”

Oliver’s brows knit together in honest confusion, and she'd laugh at the expression on his face if her heart wasn't battering so painfully within her chest. He tilts his head, “What are you-”

“I created this dream in my head that maybe this was how we'd happen, that somehow because we had Amelia then that meant there was supposed to be an us. But that's not true is it? I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize.”

Oliver’s mouth snaps shut, and quick as lightning something flashes in his eyes, but as fast as it appeared, it's gone not a second later. She doesn't know what to make of it. “Yeah. You're right,” he agrees, and Felicity hopes with everything in her that the sound of her heart breaking hadn’t echoed throughout the room.

Felicity nods, in part to herself, and to him as well. No matter how she's feeling she can't turn back now. Plus, she did the right thing, right?

“Good… um… about earlier. I'd like to take you up on that offer,” she finally admits, because at the end of the day, her pride isn't half as important as taking care of her mother. “But I swear to you, Oliver, that I'll pay you back every cent. And more.”

Oliver lips turn up slightly, but it's too forced to be real. She can't really decipher why that is. “You don't have to worry about it Felicity. I  _ want  _ to help.”

Just then, Felicity catches movement from the tablet displaying the live video of Amelia upstairs. Her body wiggles around as she finally stirs awake. Felicity stands, tucking a hair behind her ear as she does so.

“I'm gonna check on Amelia. But thanks so much for offering. You're a… really good friend.”

Oliver nods, standing so quickly and turning to the refrigerator that she doesn't catch his reaction. Sighing deep and slow, Felicity turns on her heels and heads up the stairs to her daughter.

  
  


Star City - Present Day

  
  


Felicity stands patiently in line as she awaits her turn, fingers tapping a beat against her thigh as she shuffles up a few inches. The coffee shop around her is quiet, the Saturday afternoon one that's a bit chilly, but relaxed and carefree. Which happens to be nothing like how she's currently feeling. 

She checks the time on her watch, noting that she's a couple minutes later than she'd intended to be. It doesn't really matter in the long run, but damn it if she doesn't beat herself up at least a little bit for it.

She worries the nail of her thumb from her other hand between her teeth, a habit she'd beat a few years ago but always seems to pick back up when she's stressed or has a lot on her mind. Or in this case, both those things.

“Felicity!” spinning around at the sound of her name, Felicity spots her friend Detective Dinah Drake as she makes her way over to her. A genuine smile pulls at her lips but then it slips away as her presence reminds her of the night before. Sighing under her breath, she forces a smile on her face as she finally stops in front of her.

“Dinah, hey!” her friend fixes the purse on her shoulders as she swaps her coffee cup into her other hand. “Are you heading to the precinct?” The old brick building is located a few blocks from this coffee house and is frequently littered with officers much like Dinah. That cliche about cops always eating donuts and drinking coffee? Totally true.

“Yeah. A case came up that I've been tasked to work. Thought I'd grab a cup before heading in. How are you?” the concern in her voice is genuine and Felicity blows out a breath in an attempt to centre herself.

“I'm… okay, for the most part. I just have a lot of questions that I need answered.”

“Is that why you're heading into work on a weekend?” Dinah asks, face curious and not in the slightest worried that she's wrong. And, yeah okay. That’s exactly where she’s going. Dinah  _ is  _ a good detective after all. Felicity smiles innocently, moving up a space when the person at the top of the line finishes their order. Dinah follows her.

“Just getting a head start on fixing - or rather trying to fix - the disaster that went down at the launch party last night. Totally not going to do any illegal activity such as hacking. No sir. That is a thing that I do  _ not  _ take part in,” she’s aware that she's rambling and not helping herself in the slightest, but she can't help it. Babbling is also a habit that she’d gotten rid of a while ago, an action that was essential seeing as she needed to be taken seriously in the business world. But sometimes it still happens.

Though right now she’s not worried at all. It's partly because she knows she's not in danger. She trusts Dinah. They'd met 2 years ago through Alena, her girlfriend, and after helping out the police department a few times in terms of special operations, their friendship had grown. Dinah knows what she's capable of, but is also aware that she'd never use her skills to harm anyone.

At the same time she doesn't think it'd be a good idea to say ‘yeah I'm totally about to hack my way into security cameras and personal databases to track down the accomplices of the man that had died in front of me.’ She's not sure but that doesn't seem like the right move right now.

“Right.” She agrees, smirk on her face as she watches her. She squirms slightly under her gaze, that ever present nervousness she gets around persons in law enforcement making itself known. Since her near run in with the FBI back in college, she'd never quite gotten over that sense of caution. “Well, I'm sure you've heard that Adrian Chase was reported to be at his home last night. His security detail had gotten him out of there pretty quickly after they'd spotted danger.”

Felicity huffs out a breath, murmuring, “Yeah,  _ too _ quickly,” under her breath as she shakes her head. Having not heard her, Felicity speaks up to Dinah, “Yes, I heard this morning. Any other updates about the men that attacked? Or who hired them?” Felicity knows that the answer is no, but it'd be weird not to ask. It's basically a formality.

Dinah shakes her head, taking a small sip of her coffee before replying, “Nothing concrete at the moment.” Her head turns to the left then to the right, checking if anyone is watching or listening. The people in line and around them are completely disinterested in them though. “I'm not supposed to disclose the details about ongoing investigations, but we identified the man that you and Oliver had ran into as an ex marine, discharged 7 years ago and has been off the grid since then. It's taking a little bit to gather enough information to put together a list of plausible accomplices.  _ But, _ we're working on it.”

Dinah eyes her, and she can tell she's feeling a strange mix of wanting her to leave it alone, but also knowing that Felicity’s going to be all over this in about 20 minutes. She can't say she's wrong.

“That's very useful information and I'm positive SCPD will figure it all out in no time.” Dinah sighs, rolling her eyes playfully at her. She follows her as the line shortens once more, now just 2 people before her.

“How's Oliver? And Amy?”

Trying not to physically react at the mention of his name, Felicity turns her head towards the menu by the cashier's stand, pretending to be interested in the words scribbled on the surface. But they both know she only ever orders one thing. “Oliver’s fine. Amy’s driving me crazy as usual, but she's into superheroes now so that's an interesting time.”

Dinah chuckles, always amused by her daughter's antics. “Let her know that my offer is still open for that tour of the precinct.”

Felicity snorts, cause that's happening - never. Guns and 5 year olds do not go together. “I'll pass it on,” she supplies, sarcasm obvious as she side eyes her. The person before her moves up and Dinah’s laughter causes them to glance at her momentarily as they do so.

“One day you'll give in. Anyways I have to get in or Singh will be on my ass. I'll see you when I see you Felicity.”

“Bye, Dinah,” they wave at each other as she makes her leave, but Felicity’s mind is already miles ahead as she thinks about the ex marine and how she's definitely going to find out more about his time off the grid.

 

**

 

When Felicity steps onto the executive floor 20 minutes later, her mouth is poised to greet Jessica, her assistant. She snaps it closed when it hits her that it's a weekend and only a few people are here. Still, she likes the silence, even looks forward to it as she pushes the glass door of her office open. Doesn't mean that it's not lost on her that at the same time, she loathes it. 

Silence means peace and quiet and time to concentrate on solving this mystery that's been presented to her. It means contemplating why someone was after her ex project partner.

It means coming up with a way to fix her company after the huge blow it had taken last night.

But then she loathes the quiet because she's never done well with it. Her mind is wondrous and often times betrays her as it ventures into things that she'd rather not even ponder. And right now, she's trying not to think about one person in particular, not for the first time in 2 weeks.

She's honestly tired of being afraid to think about him.

But she pushes that aside and sits at her desk, booting up the computers before her. She has work to do.

She cracks her neck, formulating her plan of action for the day. She should probably make some calls, get a feel of how badly the night had left everyone feeling. Felicity had already sent Adrian a Contract Termination Letter, already alerted her lawyers about the legal actions that'll need to be taken to ensure proper disclosure and the members of board have all been notified and informed. Still, they have an emergency meeting on Monday, one that she's not particularly looking forward to.

Adrian hadn't formally said anything to her about their project - in fact, he hasn't said anything to her at all. But she's not about to continue doing business with a man who thinks less of her or brings personal things into business. She's also not about to continue to work with someone with a target on their back, because as easily as she'd gotten away last night is exactly as easily as she could've been shot, or worse, Oliver.

She just wishes she'd trusted her instincts and looked into this man more. From the get go, something about him had nagged her. He was too easy going, too nice and eager to see things through but because she was so blinded by the aspect of finally helping her mother she'd just pushed it aside. Hadn't really contemplated it even when Oliver had expressed how little he trusted him too. That's not to say that Oliver was in the right, but God, if she'd just listened, maybe the news wouldn't be running endless segments titled along the lines of ‘Smoak Technologies and Kord Industries deal up in Smoke?’ or ‘Miracle Chip no longer a miracle.’

It kills her. Absolutely kills her to see how little people trust her now. As she makes call after call to investors, and CEOs and people of the like, it's obvious that they're no longer very confident in the project. And it's not even a direct link. It's by association. They'd been after Adrian, and the fact that they'd targeted the launch party for the chip means that they could very well target them as well, or at least that's the general consensus that she gathers. She wouldn't go as far as to say that her company will fall apart, but she's definitely about to fall down a little on the stock market.

The worst part though is the chip. The timeline that she'd created is completely shot to the water. She has to go back to the drawing board, and her dream to see her mother walk again is even farther away.

It's not that she's disheartened, or even plans to simply let her dream go, but it's every bit as hard to see something you've wanted for years finally within grasp but suddenly yanked from your fingers without a moment's notice.

She's all too used to that feeling.

Felicity is confident she'll figure something out, but if she decides to wallow in self pity for a few more hours, well, who can blame her?

She'll need to come up with ways to garner trust and interest in her tech again and she already has a few prototypes in mind, so with those more positive thoughts, she jots down a few notes and decides she'll pick those back up on Monday along with her plans of fast forward the re-development of her  _ own  _ hardware for the chip. Because maybe this all happened for a reason. Maybe she was supposed to do this without outside help all along. It doesn't really matter now because that's how it'll have to be.

Everything else she has to do with the help of her colleagues. Some heavy PR has to be done, legal actions implemented, finances shifted, among other things. But, like she said, that's a worry for another day, namely, this coming Monday.

Felicity’s mind shifts its focus, and then momentarily she's in a hallway with her hand nestled in Oliver’s as he faces a masked man. A harsh breath leaves her chest as she recalls the moment, every emotion that had ran through her making a comeback. Her anger, desperation, confusion and gut wrenching fear is swift but branding it's in intensity. That night it had felt like it wouldn't end, but right now she has a choice. And she's choosing to let it go.  _ You're not in danger, Amy’s not in danger. Oliver’s not in danger. _ Those words are repeated in her head until she somewhat believes them.

She focuses instead on the conversation she'd had in the coffee shop. That, she can deal with. That, she can control and work her magic on.

With the click of a few keys, Felicity hacks into the precinct’s computer network - completely undetectable of course - and then she's digging up the information that Dinah had so kindly told her about. She finds it within seconds.

The man that had almost shot at Oliver is the deceased ex marine Henry Jackson, 35 years of age, no spouse or children, and orphaned as of 2 years ago. Dinah had been right when she said it'd been difficult to find any connections. She can't outright locate anything related to this man within the last 7 years. Which really means that he  _ could _ actually have a spouse or a child or both. Something tells her he doesn't though.

She'd seen the look in his eyes, seen the monster for who he was, greed for solely himself obvious. It'd been sickening.

She tries a few easy hacks and when she still comes up with nothing, she ups the ante to search for information she  _ knows  _ is there on this guy, because it's a fact that most things are traceable, especially by her. The code is advanced and much wider in terms of the search range, so she turns to something else as it runs, knowing it'll take a little while.

On the 3rd of the 3 monitors before her, Felicity hacks in the security feed of the hotel they were in last night. She clicks through until the finds the correct time and frame of the hallway they were in, cursing under breath when she realizes that the screen is black as a result of the lights being cut off.

Those men knew what they were doing. She'll give them that. But so does she. She tries out a few easy tricks - something someone with photoshop would’ve been able to do - enabling a few keystrokes which allows the tint on the footage to lighten. Enough for her to make out each person in the room. When she plays the footage once more, now with herself, Oliver and Chase visible right before the lights had been cut off, she makes sure to keep her eyes locked on Chase the whole time.

It turns out that quite honestly the second the lights had went out, 2 large men had been at Chase's side, escorting him quickly and quietly away through the exact service door that Oliver, John and herself had taken. She knows that to many other people it would look like an innocent reaction to danger, that his bodyguards were actually doing their jobs.

The only thing is, Chase looks way too unperturbed by their actions, even so by the lights going out. He doesn't look affected or scared or anything of the sorts. He just nonchalantly follows his men out, as if expecting all of it, not surprised in the slightest.  

Something isn't right.

The ring of her cellphone has Felicity jumping in her seat, hand flying to her chest in shock. She blows out a breath, counting to 5 as she calms her pacing heart.

When she picks up her phone, she sees it's a facetime call from Oliver. If she hadn't known already that it's Amy’s usual Saturday facetime call, she probably wouldn't have answered… who's she kidding, she definitely would've.

Felicity swipes the accept button on  the call, smile already widening as Amy’s wide grin comes into view. Her face is entirely too close to the camera, holding the phone too close to herself something she enjoys doing because she knows it makes her laugh.

For all the struggles and the frustrations of the past night, Felicity finds solace in the shine of her daughter's eyes. There's no company to fix, no mystery to solve, no apologies to contemplate, not when she's talking to her. It's just her baby girl and herself.

“Hi mommy!” the tiny squeak of her angelic voice settles over her and Felicity sits back into her chair, back no longer rigid and straight as she’d hovered over her computers.

“Hey baby girl! How was your visit with Grandma Donna?”

Amy beams even more, if that's even possible. She'd always loved her grandmother. There was a time where she had been slightly jealous about how easily they'd bonded, but the feeling had been dashed rather quickly because, well, she was blessed that they got along so well. There's really nothing wrong with love being so easy and uncomplicated.

“It was awesome! We played superhero all day! And Daddy played with us too, isn't that true Dad?” her eyes move away from the screen, focus somewhere else behind the phone that she can't see.

“Oh yeah, we totally did. And you beat me up really bad,” comes Oliver’s voice, only a bit low due to his distance away. Despite herself, despite however she might be feeling towards him, a smile breaks out Felicity’s face. And she's self aware enough to know that it's her ‘Oliver smile,’ or so her mother would tease her.

“Because you were the bad guy! Superheroes are  _ supposed  _ to beat up the bad guys Daddy,” Amy rolls her eyes at her father, this topic obviously one that they've been over more than once. She gets her exasperation though. Sometimes Oliver’s head is really thick.

“Sometimes the bad guys aren't that bad. Maybe they're not villains but more anti heroes. They use different, more violent methods but they're doing it for what they think is the right reason…” Felicity trails off, not completely sure where that small tangent she just went on came from.

Amy’s gaze returns to her, confusion wrinkling her tiny brows and then a second later Oliver’s face can be seen in the frame. His face is smeared with what looks like flour, probably a result of him baking a treat for Amy. He sits on the couch before pulling Amy onto his lap, taking the phone into his hand so that both of them are properly in frame.

“Someone's thought about this.” His voice is teasing and playful, and if her cheeks warm up slightly in embarrassment at being called out, well, she'll blame it on the atmosphere in her office.

“What kind of violent methods mommy?” Amy interrupts, her inquisitive nature getting the best of her. Felicity’s eyes widen as she meets Oliver’s gaze, a little panicked because, well, how do you explain this to a 5 year old? But Oliver just shrugs as if to say ‘this is your doing,  _ you _ fix it’ and she'd punch him in the chest if he wasn't miles away in his penthouse.

“Violent like pulling on someone's hair. Which good girls like Amy never do, right?” she answers, pleased that she could turn this around before it could spin into something that her little girl isn't quite old enough to grasp yet.

Amy’s eyes light up in innocence, “No mommy. Pulling hair is mean.” Just as she finishes, Oliver’s hand sneaks out to grab on one of the braids in her hair, pulling on it lightly. Amy twists around to face him, betrayal written all over her tiny face.

“Hey! Mommy  _ just  _ said pulling hair is violent and good girls shouldn't do it!”

“Good girls like Amy,” he corrects, and then the two of them are bickering back and forth about being rude and how technically Oliver isn't a little girl so that doesn't include him but then Amy’s shooting back that if he acts like one then he should be treated like one too and it's honestly the best thing that's happened to her all day.

Felicity watches them and listens intently as they go on, not in the least bit interested in interrupting. When it's just the 3 of them, it's so easy to forget everything else. It's like a piece of cake talking about things that mean absolutely nothing at all, and arguing about small things with no actual anger behind their words.

If there was ever a place in this world where Felicity felt she belonged the most, it's with Oliver and Amy. The smile on her lips does not go away.

“Anyways,” Oliver’s overly loud interjection prompts. Felicity chuckles at the side eye Amy gives him as they both finally draw their little argument to a close. “It's after 5 and we got back from visiting Donna a little while ago. She says she wants to see you by the way. But… that's not…” he blows out a breath, nervousness slipping into his demeanor as he attempts to go on. And then suddenly Felicity is reminded that things aren't A-Okay between them. “Are you coming over for dinner tonight? If you don't want to, Amy and I would totally understand.”

He tries to go for casual and indifferent, but he knows what's going on in her head, knows she hasn't made up her mind about him yet. God, they literally just spoke this morning and she'd been doing her absolute best not to think about him. Something tells her she should now though.

“I couldn't miss dinner with my favorite superhero Mrs. Super Duper Girl, now could I?” she questions, gaze on Amy as she'd awaited her reaction. She doesn't know what Oliver had told her about what's going on between them but she doesn't seem to be outright troubled about it. Amy grins, nodding excitedly at her agreement that she's coming.

A small smile alights on Oliver’s lips, and it's the type of smile where he can't help himself. When their eyes meet, somehow she's able to say without words that though things aren't 100% fine between them, she'll try. And going by the small nod he gives her, he gets it. The smile is a little sadder now though.

“I'll just finish up here and I should be there within an hour. See you troublemakers in a little bit.” The both of them wave frantically at her, each of them trying to outdo the other in the flamboyance of their waves. The call ends when Amy’s hand accidentally hits Oliver’s phone and sends it careening across the room. Oliver’s ‘Hey!’ is the last thing she hears before the screen goes black.

Shaking her head as she sets her phone down, Felicity takes a minute to gather her bearings so she can concentrate on what she'd been doing before the call. When she looks up at one of the monitors, it's to see an array of information gathered by her code.  _ Yes! _ She exclaims, diving into what it had discovered.

A few minutes later, Felicity knows more about this man that she'd ever need to. So it turns out he's been using an alias the past 7 years. Henry Jackson aka Richard Sangson was working as a janitorial serviceman. His small ‘company’ with 7 other janitors like himself all turn out to be ex marine from his unit as well, also all living under aliases for varying lengths of time.

Felicity gathers a portfolio on all of them, verifying the skills each men has and the plausibility that they're in fact the men that were present last night at the launch party.

The most difficult part is finding out who paid them. Richard - or Henry, more accurately, had been telling the truth about not knowing who hires them for the jobs. Because the money hadn't been wired to them yet due to their failed op, she can't use that as a way to trace the mastermind behind the plan. She hacks their phones and sees that in their messages they'd said that a file had been dropped off with a name, a time and a place in one of their mailboxes, which also happens to be on a street with no cameras.

She sighs heavily. There  _ has _ to be a way to trace this person.

For now though, Felicity sends the file with all the information she'd gathered to SCPD, untraceable back to her and under an anonymous tag. Maybe the other men knew more than Henry. Maybe the police can get something out of them.

When she turns her gaze back to the video of Chase, indecision swamps her. Because as weird as it is that Chase appeared to have known what was going on, there's also nothing actually incriminating about it, or anything that traces him back to the men or what happened. She decides she'll keep this one to herself. Though she has a nagging feeling it'll come up again soon enough.

As she's packing her things up, checking the time on her watch and hurrying a little when she sees it reads 6:12pm, a knock on her glass door has her looking up in shock to see who it is.

John Diggle’s wide shoulders and boulder size biceps are incredibly hard to forget and she relaxes as the man pushes the glass door open. “Only Felicity Smoak would be working until 6 on a weekend.”

“Unless you're here for a quick chat you're not much better,” she teases back, watching as the smile on his face widens.

He shakes his head, “You've got me there. Oliver asked me to pick you up. Said you said an hour but that actually meant you'd take 2. And by the looks of it, he's right.”

Rolling her eyes, Felicity throws her purse over her shoulder as she heads for the door, John following her as they make their way into the elevator. “Yeah, well he knows me too much.”

John huffs out a breath, and Felicity eyes their reflection in the glass of the elevator. She looks tired as hell. John hits the button for the parking garage. “If he didn't after all these years, I'd be worried.”

“Can't say the same for myself though,” she murmurs out, but somehow she just knows John heard her. The man has ears like a bat. He frowns down at her, but Felicity keeps her gaze in straight in front of her, watching as the numbers on the elevator go down as they descend.

“And what exactly does that mean, Felicity?” he eventually asks, though it's said in a way that she doesn't have to answer, which ultimately makes her  _ want _ to answer. Damn him for being so good.

“That I don't really know Oliver like I thought I did,” she finally admits, both to John and herself. The elevator comes to a halt and they step out when the door slides open.

John’s steps usually outpace hers, but he slows his throt as they make their way to her car. “You don't actually believe that, do you?”

Felicity remains silent as she walks, opening the passenger door to the car as John slides in the driver's seat a minute later. To be honest she doesn't entirely know what to believe. She wouldn't have ever thought that Oliver would keep something that directly involved herself and Amy from her. When she'd almost slipped last night and said that they told each other everything, she wasn't lying.

Okay, maybe she was - only about that one fact about her feelings for him - but that's besides the point. He kept something from her for 3 months, then watched her work for a man that thought she was incompetent. She  _ knows  _ that's partly because he wanted to see her make her dream come through, but in the long run it doesn't really matter. He should’ve said something. The Oliver she knows would have said something.

So yeah, she maybe she doesn't entirely know this man anymore.

“And what if I do?” Felicity eventually asks, watching as John eyes her out of the corner of his eyes. The traffic around them is loose, so they're able to weave around the other vehicles fairly easily and should be at Oliver’s even quicker.

John shakes his head, “Then I'd call bullshit.”

Feeling mildly offended, Felicity faces him fully in her seat beside him. “And why is that John?”

He sighs in exasperation, glancing at her before focusing on the road once again. “You're telling me that after 6 years of knowing each other, being each other's best friends and confidantes. Experiencing death and birth and just  _ life  _ and so many other important accomplishments and milestones in both of your lives… you don't know Oliver Queen like the back of your hand? The man that you spend almost everyday with? That Oliver Queen?”

Felicity sighs, deep and harsh and low. She knows he's right.  _ God,  _ he's so right.

“I just… I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to come up with a reason for all of this.”

John hums, contemplating her words before going on, “And that's perfectly fine. Look, I'm not trying to say what he did wasn't wrong or out of character, but trust me Felicity, it's not a case of him changing or you not knowing him any longer. You know more about him than most married couples know about each other.” He huffs out an amused breath, “You're more married than Lyla and I.”

Felicity laughs outright at that, throwing her head back against the headrest. It's not the first time she's heard a comment like that, in fact, whenever they go out together people always assume they're married or together. It's amusing yet painful at the same time.

“Come on, you and Lyla are marriage goals,” she teases, watching as an unabashed smile settles on John’s face. They bicker back and forth until they arrive at Oliver’s a few minutes later.

As she's opening the car door to step out, John stops her, “For what it's worth, I truly don’t think he did what he did to hurt you, or kept it from you to make you look stupid. His only fault is that he cares about you too much. Just- see if you can find it in you to forgive him? Please?”

Felicity thinks about his words, somewhere within her knowing that there's truth behind them. She nods, “I will. Thanks for the ride John.”

“Anytime.”

When Felicity uses her spare key to enter Oliver’s penthouse, she's met with the now familiar litter of Amy’s toys across the whole living room. She doesn't hear their voices, but she does smell the enticing aroma of whatever it is that Oliver had cooked still sitting on the stove in his kitchen.

Guessing that they're upstairs, Felicity heads in that direction. As she's passing Amy’s room, she makes out their muffled voices in her bathroom, probably cleaning her up before dinner.

She pushes open her door but comes into a halt when she hears what the topic of the conversation they're having is, “And what kind of superhero is mommy?” the shrill of her small voice sends warmth down Felicity heart.

“She's a real life superhero. She creates things that help people. She's super smart and she can figure out any problem, no matter how hard. And she's the kindest, sweetest person in the whole world. You get all of those things from her.”

Felicity has to sit down on Amy’s bed as she takes in Oliver’s words. Her knees feel like jello, heart thumping heavily in her chest at the admiration in his voice. He's making it far too hard to stay mad at him.

Amy’s voice sounds again, “Really? Am I gonna be a real life superhero too? Can I create things to help people too?”

“Whatever you want nugget. You can do whatever you put your mind to.”

Felicity thinks back to John’s words a little while ago, about how Oliver’s only fault is that he cares about her too much. And she knows it's true. He kept it from her because he cared about her. It doesn't make it right, and they're seriously going to have to have a talk about that, but she can already feel herself forgiving him.

She doesn't fight it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW CUTE ARE THEY?
> 
> so i have finals coming up and sadly that means no update for a little while. hope that isn't too disappointing. 
> 
> let me know how you feel though!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver, Felicity and Amy have some unexpected guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i KNOW i havent updated in a while and it's not because of college because ive been done since May, but, tbh i just couldn't sit down and write.
> 
> anyways, a new chapter is here now (the longest chapter so far too). Hope you enjoy!

5 Years Ago - Star City

 

“So, I'm thinking we head to the park today, I carry Amy around for a little bit, get a few numbers from the single moms hanging out around the play area. Boom, Amy’s happy, you're happy and I'm happy. We're all happy.”

Cellphone nestled between his shoulder and the side of his head, Oliver bounces Amelia in his arms as he makes what must be his one hundredth trip around the tight living area space. Her loud wails fall against the walls of the room, echoing off them and only making Tommy barely audible as he speaks.

Sighing so deep, he can feel it in his weary bones, Oliver spins and continues his trot across the hardwood floors, “For the last time, Tommy, it's  _ Amelia _ . And no, I'm not taking my nearly 2 month old child to the park so you can score a few numbers. I'm pretty sure you're capable of doing that all on your own.”

Almost as if she understood his words, the pitch of her wails increases in volume, and he whispers a quiet, “Shh,” as he bounces her a bit more in an attempt to sooth her.

“Amelia’s too much of a mouthful, okay? Amy  _ will _ catch on,” he insists, the sound of a car horn blowing in the background of the call. “And I was just teasing man. I'll be over in 15.”

“Sure you were,” Oliver adds, removing one his arms from around Amelia’s tiny body and grabbing hold of the phone before clicking the end button on the call. Tossing it aside on the sofa, he returns his entire focus on his daughter, the ring in his ear persistent as a result of her less than pleasant mood since Felicity had left that morning.

“Amelia, my nugget, you're being unfair here. I know you miss Mommy, but can't you just not cry for like, a minute? Just one?” he pleads, pausing and staring her down as her big, tear filled, blue eyes stare back up at him, mouth opening and closing as she lets out another cry - almost as if in rebellion.

He blows out a tired breath, because of course that didn't work. Nothing has worked at all since he had to pry her off Felicity when she was leaving, and he's running out of ideas. He’s fed her, burped her, given her a bath and a fresh change of diapers a little while ago. He’d thought that she’d be tired, but after putting her down only to see her still fussing and crying minutes on end in her crib, he realized that that wasn’t the case.

Which ultimately resulted in him walking around in circles as her cries sound throughout the apartment and then deciding to invite Tommy over, because while he doubts he’ll be any help at all, in the couple of times they’ve met, Amelia did seem to take a liking to his best friend. Plus he’s bound to distract her. Lord knows he’s been distracting him for  _ years _ .

“Look, your Uncle Tommy’s going to come over in a little bit. You like him, right? You’ll stop crying and laugh at his stupid faces?” he attempts, searching her eyes as if he’ll find an answer there. It’s not a surprise that all she does is scream in his face once again.

“What am I going to do with you?” he asks, surprisingly amused as he rubs a thumb over her soft chubby cheek. It’s not the first time that she’s drove him or Felicity to near insanity, and though he’s pretty sure he’s going to be half deaf by the end of the day, there’s no place else he’d rather be.

He still finds himself marveling at the fact that this is his life now. It’s not just him that he thinks about day in, day out. There’s this tiny little person that depends on him entirely, and though it’s only been a little less than 2 months, he hopes he hasn’t messed this kid up too bad yet. Because with him as her Dad, he’s bound to rub off on her somehow.

With her still nestled in his arm, he goes about cleaning up the apartment a bit, even though he knows that Tommy wouldn’t mind or even notice. Oliver breathes out a sigh of relief when her cries die down for a short moment as she watches him, fascinated in that way all babies get about everything around them. But he has to curse under his breath when she resumes crying, disappointed, but not surprised that she doesn’t intend to give him a break for any longer than a few minutes.

He’s doing another trip around the coffee table when he makes out a knock on the front door and he pivots on the spot to answer it. “I come bearing gifts,” Tommy starts, stepping threw the small threshold empty handed and entering the living area, “It’s me. I’m the gift.”

Oliver sighs, looking down at Amelia as if she’ll even understand his reaction and then shaking his head at his best friend. He closes the front door on a dull snap before making his way to the kitchen. “I don’t really see your presence as a gift, but, that’s just me.”

Amelia, for her part, stops crying once more for a second as she takes in the new comer. Though modesty may not be her forte because she’s back to sobbing not a moment later.

“Says the guy who practically begged me to come over,” Tommy comments, settling down on the sofa and spreading his arms out on top of it, looking for the most part like he owns the place. “Why’s she so fussy anyway?” he deters.

Tommy’s watching him as he opens the refrigerator, balancing Amelia on one arm as he does so, “All we have is iced tea, soda and water. Which do you want?” he asks instead, looking back towards him as he awaits an answer.

“Really? Why do you only have those things? What happened to a good ol’ six pack of beer?” he questions dramatically as he sits up in his seat, truly seeming to be shocked by his lack of adult drinks.

Chuckling softly, Oliver grabs a can of soda and kicks the refrigerator door closed before subconsciously placing a soft kiss on Amelia’s forehead. “Well, for one, technically, if you’ll recall, this isn’t my place. It’s Felicity’s, and she gets to put whatever she wants to put in her refrigerator.”

Tossing the can towards him, he waits to ensure that he catches it before he resumes his slow march with Amelia across the living room. “Oh? Because I thought you guys were roommates, which, by definition, means you  _ share _ the space.” Tommy adds, clearly having no intention to let this go. His tone gives off how thrown he is, and it also doesn’t hide the entitlement behind his words either.

He doesn’t think he says half the things he does to be an ass or to be offensive, but rather because he’d never been taught any better, and he gets it because after all, he was just like him a year ago - still is, if he’s being brutally honest. Bouncing his baby in his arms, Oliver whispers another soothing, “Shh,” before answering his friend, “Yeah, but it’s still her place, and I mean, I’m sure if I put them in there she wouldn’t have a problem, but that leads to my second point, which is I don’t want that stuff either.”

Tommy’s brows crinkle in confusion as he takes in his words, leaning back on the sofa he watches him. Silence - or rather, some semblance of silence settles around them as Tommy contemplates his words and Amelia continues in her attempt to break the world record for the longest crying session. Finally, his face clears up as a hint of astonishment marks his features, “Dude, did you age by like, 10 years, or something?”

Just barely muffling his laughter at his question, Oliver decides to sit in the armchair next to the sofa, shifting Amelia until she’s cradled properly in his arms, “I know you’re just joking, but I might as well have, if I’m being honest.”

It’s honestly not the first time that he’s felt like he’s on a different wavelength than his friend. Tommy’s still in college pursuing his medical degree, but he hasn’t had to do a lot of growing up like he has in the last year. In the admittedly limited amount of time they’d had to hang out over the months, it’s plain as day that things have changed. He knows that it’s for the better, but he’s unsure if his best friend thinks so as well.

He isn't blind. He sees the way his smile drops when he turns down a night at a bar, hears the disappointment in his voice when he tells him he can’t be his wingman for a good time at a club. Oliver knows he understands  _ why _ he can’t do the things he used to with him, but he doesn’t really know what to do about the fact that Tommy’s having a hard time coming to grips with it anyway.

They’ve been best friends since they were kids and, well, quite honestly, they’re more so brothers than friends - but now that he has a kid of his own, he’s not just Tommy’s best friend anymore. He’s Amelia’s dad: the first and most important role he has and will ever have.

He’d thought that stepping into that position would have been harder for him, or that he’d be reluctant or too afraid, but these past 2 months have shown that though she throws him for a loop at least 10 times a day, he takes it all in stride, even if he messes up more than half the time.

He  _ loves _ being her Dad. And if that means giving up a night or two hanging out with Tommy, he’s not that sad to say that it’s well worth it.

That being said though, he doesn’t want to make him feel like he doesn’t want to be his best pal anymore. In fact, that’s the last thing he wants. They’re at different stages in their lives, himself having had to grow up far quicker than anyone had imagined he would. Before Felicity and Amelia, Tommy had always been the more responsible one of the two of them - though that isn’t saying a lot - but, now he knows he feels somewhat left behind in the adventure of a lifetime that is them, even if neither of them will outright admit it.

His friend isn’t a selfish person, and he realizes he’s just trying to adjust to the changes brought on by Amelia, even if he’s having a bit of difficulty wrapping his head around it all.

He’s also aware that because Tommy knows his life is different now, he tries to incorporate her into things so that he’ll spend time with him, hence his idea earlier about going to the park. It’s touching, and he’s figured he should do more to meet him at least a little half way. Which, yeah, inviting him over was mostly so he could get Amelia to stop crying, but it’s also so he could actually spend time with him.

Oliver continues, “Look, dude, I still drink beer and stuff of the like when the time and place are appropriate, but I figure with a 2 month old on my arm, things like that shouldn’t be around her.”

Tommy’s gaze leaves his, head ducked down in thought before he looks in his direction again, only he doesn’t meet his eyes, instead settling them on Amelia. The corner of his lips tick up in a small smile as he takes in her red, scrunched up face, “Yeah - yeah… I know that. I get it.”

Smiling knowingly at him, he shifts in his seat towards his friend, “You wanna hold her?”

He doesn’t miss the slight panic that passes over his face, and he can’t help but laugh when he sees him swallow thickly in fear. When all Tommy does is look at Amelia wide eyed, Oliver attempts, “Man, she’s not gonna bite you,” he pauses, thinking on it for a bit before rectifying his wording, “Well, I mean, she has no teeth, so… I think you’re good?” He’s aware that it comes off more as a question that an actual statement.

Tommy isn’t a stranger to Amelia, nor is she to him, but he’s never actually held her. She’s always either been in Felicity’s arms or his. He isn’t naive enough to not recognize the weight of the moment, but he can’t help but be amused at the way Tommy wipes away at the perspiration building up on his forehead out of nervousness.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’ll hold it against you for the rest of my life,” he jokes, trying to at least alleviate some of his fear with some light humor. It does it’s job, if the chuckle he lets out is any indication, and he shrugs in clearly fake nonchalance as a sign of agreement.

“Sure, but, I mean, If I drop your kid, that’s not on me. And also, fair warning, she might not want to leave my arms after being in them,” he finishes off his comment with a wink, and Oliver has to hold himself back from punching him on the arm in slight disgust.

“Bro, it’s my kid. Refrain from using any sexual innuendos around her, please.” He stands from the armchair and sits beside his friend, waiting until he sets down the unopened soda can and stretches out his arms before he begins to hand him a squirming, irritated Amelia.

Tommy’s voice is affected and slightly cracked as he speaks next, eyes locked on the baby and back straight as a rod as he awaits instructions, “Fine. But don’t act like those don’t roll out of Felicity’s mouth at least twice a day.”

“Yeah, but not only is she Amelia’s  _ mother _ and doesn't mean them most of the time, but she’s also adorable when she accidentally says them,” he insists, at last carefully placing his daughter in his best friend’s arms as he whispers guidance on how to hold her and adjusting her a tiny bit until she’s squirming comfortably in Tommy’s arms.

His comment about Felicity fall on deaf ears though, because as soon as he’s full on cradling her in his arms, Tommy seems to be lost in the tiny miracle that is Amelia.

He gets it.

Oliver barely makes out his next words, but the astonishment in his voice isn’t hard to miss, “Man… she’s everything. Even with snot running down her nose.”

Snorting at the awed look in his eyes, Oliver leans over and uses the towel that had been on his shoulder to gently rub away Amelia’s runny nose. It’s then does she stops crying, though this time, she doesn’t continue like he’s come to expect. Instead her big, curious eyes flit from him to Tommy continuously.

Tommy looks up at him, face open and soft, but serious as he speaks again, “She’s beautiful, man. I see the appeal now.”

Giving him a gentle slap on the back, Oliver inquiries, “You act like you’ve never seen her before.”

He ducks his head again, seemingly abashed and slightly embarrassed. “There’s nothing like holding a baby for the first time, I guess,” His shoulders rise and dip as he shrugs once more.

His meaning is clear even if he doesn’t explicitly admit it. It feels like they’re finally somewhat on the same page.

“There isn’t. And thanks man. But she gets all her looks from Felicity.”

“Oh, that I’m certain off,” he teases, laughing out loud when Oliver gives him a straight face. Right then, everything between them feels like it has changed, but at the same time, it doesn’t, not at all really.

“Why was she so upset?” Tommy asks again, focus back to her as her eyes flutter close every now and then in a sign that she’s finally beginning to feel tired.

Sitting back in the sofa and relaxing into it for the first time since he’d been left with her almost 5 hours ago, Oliver lets out a relieved breath, “Oh, Felicity left for a hospital thing about her Mom this morning. Couldn’t be avoided. Usually Amelia doesn’t really get upset when either one of us isn’t around but I guess she’s recognizing us now, so she’s much more aware of our presence - or lack thereof.”

Tommy nods his head in understanding before his gaze finds his, “So she was crying because you're on your day off and she’s been stuck with you for so long? Hey, I totally get it.”

Huffing out an exasperated breath, Oliver shakes his head at his best friend, though there’s no actual anger behind it. It feels good teasing one another like this. It makes it all seem like as of now, things can always be this easy and from the sounds of it, it occurs to him that Tommy might now feel the same.

His friend speaks again when it’s clear he’s not dignifying him with a response, “Speaking of Felicity… are you finally going to tell me what happened between you two?”

Tension fills his relaxed body at Tommy’s words far quicker than he’d thought it could. Oliver sits up, diverting his eyes to Amelia’s practically asleep form. When his intention to take her from Tommy is clear, he carefully hands her over and not a moment later Oliver stands and heads up the stairs Felicity’s bedroom. “I’m gonna put her in her crib,” he eventually mumbles right as he knows he’ll be out of view.

The scent of Felicity’s perfume travels up his nose as soon as he pushes her bedroom door open, stopping him dead on his feet for a short moment as he takes it in. A bit of the tension leaves his body right then, but he forces that aside in favor of finally putting Amelia to bed. Continuing on a slow, cautious thread, he stops at her crib before allowing himself a minute to look at her.

Her eyes are pressed shut, mouth open in a little O as puffs of air leave it every once in a while. But she looks... happy and satisfied, whether that's because she's content she managed to drive him mad all afternoon or it's just all in his head is a question for another day. For now, he places a delicate kiss on her forehead then lowers her down into the crib, tugging her tenderly every which way until he figures she’s perfectly comfortable. Smile slipping onto his lips, he whispers, “Sleep well, Amelia. I love you,” one last time before he makes his exit.

Once the door shuts on a quiet snap behind him, Tommy’s question forces itself to the forefront of his mind - almost as if it’d been waiting for him to give it his full attention.

The question isn't new or necessarily unexpected or unwarranted. It’s literally almost been a month. His best friend has been asking him about it ever since he’d slipped and admitted to having screwed up with Felicity, but he’d closed off pretty quickly, not wanting to talk about it because somewhere in this barely working heart of his, there's something that shatters just thinking about what happened.

He quiets his footfalls until he returns to the living room, spotting Tommy at exactly the same place he'd left him, only he's sipping on the can of soda he'd abandoned moments before. Oliver seats himself in the armchair, “She’s out for real this time. Will probably be out for a little while too.”

Swallowing down a drink, Tommy comments, “Good. You don't have any excuse to run this time then.”

Scoffing at the absurdity of being accused of running even though he knows there is truth to his words, Oliver attempts, “I wasn't running.”

“Man, you literally high tailed it out of here as soon as I mentioned what happened with Felicity. And it's not the first time either. You've been coming up with excuses to avoid talking about it for 3 weeks now.”

Sighing in defeat, he hangs his head all the while rubbing at his chin as he's at a lost with what to do with his hands. “Well then that should tell you that maybe I don't want to talk about it, Tommy,” he laments, somehow still able to try to deflect even though he's barely hanging onto a reason for why he should.

“And it's the very fact that you  _ don't _ want to talk about it that tells me we should, Oliver.”

He's looking at him like he's exasperated with him, even throwing in an eye roll as if he's completely tired of his shit.

It's not that he's afraid to talk about it, per say, but he's never, ever been good with expressing his feelings. He doesn't even know what it is now that he's even feeling. How is he supposed to put it in words?

But he's aware that he needs to start somewhere, if the huff of air in annoyance Tommy lets out as he waits for him to talk is any indication, so Oliver decides to start with what happened. Maybe he can go from there.

“Alright, man. Stop looking at me like you want to run me over. I  _ can _ beat your ass, please keep that in mind.”

Tommy doesn't reply, instead just spiking one eyebrow up as he awaits his explanation. Cursing under his breath, Oliver attempts to sort out his thoughts.

“Fine. So, you know what happened to her mom obviously messed her up, bad. She was - is - struggling, in more ways than one, and one day I’d had enough of seeing her almost tear her hair out so I offered to help. But she's stubborn, like, more so than I am, which says  _ a lot _ but that's beside the point. She said no and I couldn't understand why so I asked and she just… broke down. I’ve seen that woman give birth, Tommy. She's strong as hell, but right then she just didn't look like herself.”

He remembers how she'd hyperventilated, and how she'd been looking at him but wasn't really looking  _ at him _ . He’d never seen her so completely incapable of keeping herself together than in that moment and it had broken his heart. He doesn't know how he'd managed to break her from it, but, eventually he did. Thank God.

“After a while I somehow got her to come back from whatever it was that had taken over her, but she was still very much… not right. God, I don't know how to explain this properly at all, but she just didn't look okay yet. Then… she kissed me. And I didn't kiss her back.”

Tommy eyes take on the size of saucers, shock and disbelief at his words evident. “Wait, what? So, she kissed you, what's the big deal? I thought you guys were, you know, on your way to being something more...”

Oliver sighs, low and deep and long. “We were, but, man, like I said, she looked so broken still. And vulnerable. And I felt like I'd be taking advantage of her if I'd returned anything right then. So, no, I didn't kiss her back, but that's not because I didn't want to - boy did I - but because I thought that she wasn't in the right state of mind and that we should talk first,” he pauses, finally getting to the part where he can already feel a gut punch.

“I was going to say all of that, but she spoke first. She started apologizing for kissing me and then implied that we were never gonna work. And after I asked for clarification she basically said that what we had wasn't  _ real _ . That having Amelia made us believe that there was supposed to be an us, but in reality, there isn't.”

“Damn,” is all Tommy says, looking more sorry for him than he's comfortable with right then. “You agreed, didn't you?”

Oliver shrugs, unable to say anything for a moment. He doesn't know what he feels about the whole thing. On one hand, she could be right. When is she ever not right? They could've manifested all those feelings under the impression that they're supposed to happen because they had Amelia.

But then he also knows that his entire day becomes better once he's in her company. He knows that kissing her is a kind of mercy he'd become a religious man just to experience once more. He knows that no one has ever really understood him the way she does, even if there's still a lot more to learn.

So while what she'd said made sense, he can't help but feel heartbroken because he still very much wants her, even with it obvious that she doesn't want him back. And he has to force himself to not  _ feel _ that way. As a result he's just a conundrum of varying thoughts and feelings and he just wants it all to go away.

“Yes, I agreed.”

Tommy takes a sip of the soda, swallowing it down as he seemingly gathers his thoughts. “Maybe she's right man. I don't really have the right to speak on your situation, but maybe subconsciously you feel like since you knocked her up, you have to be with her too. But you don't have to. There are many different types of families out there. Yours just probably won't be the traditional type. And maybe, one day, you'll both find the person you're supposed to be with, all the while raising Amelia together.”

He’s thought about that scenario before, of course, and he's sure that Felicity has as well. He knows sooner rather than later, one or both of them are going to start dating and a part of him still finds it absurd. But what can he do? Tommy might very well be right. All he’s capable of doing for the time being is suppressing his remaining feelings and taking care of and loving the tiny baby fast asleep upstairs.

“You're being annoyingly wise right now,” Oliver eventually teases, his desire to put this conversation behind them obvious.

Like he expected, his best friend completely drops it, “Man, I know. I've been seeing this therapist…” he trails off, “And by seeing, I mean going out with… not like, for my mental health. Although, she keeps asking me ‘And how does that make you feel?’ Do you think that's weird?”

 

**

 

Star City - Present Day

  
  


“Knock, knock,” 

Felicity’s familiar voice sounds from behind Amy’s bathroom door and Oliver has to hastily wipe the last of the water on Amy’s hands before she attempts to jump from his grasp to excitedly greet her mother.

Once the door is pushed open, her squeal of glee has him standing back and chuckling while he watches her run into her Felicity’s open arms. “Mommy! You're finally here!”

In between the kisses she’s planting all over her face, Felicity explains, “I am. I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner. Kinda got caught up in my work.”

Having begun busying himself with putting the things they’d used just now to tidy her up back in place, he glances at them when Amy mentions him, “That's okay. Daddy said you were busy saving the world and that you'd be home when you could. And you did!”

Felicity’s eyes are on him at that those words, he knows, but his cheeks burn too much in embarrassment for him to meet her gaze just then. Instead, he ducks his head and focuses on his task of quickly putting things back in order. Though his ears stay keen on the conversation they're still having.

“Your Dad is exaggerating a bit, but, that was kind of him to say. I'm just glad we can spend some time together now.”

“Me too,” Amy echoes adoringly, having always been enchanted and mesmerized by her, which is at least one thing he knows for sure that she gets from him. Amy is a bright, optimistic ball of sunshine that oozes love and compassion. She's brave and strong as hell, but stubborn to a fault, adventurous and outgoing but vulnerable and soft, both in the way she reacts to people and also in the way she treats others. She's only 5, but he sees so much of Felicity in her. He’s always figured that must also be the reason she looks up to her so much.

“Hey, your toys were all over the living room when I was passing by just now. Do you think you could handle putting them away? Your Dad and I will be down in a minute.”

Always up for a challenge, he faces them just in time to see Amy nodding vigorously as she squirms in her mom's arms until Felicity gets the point to lower her down to stand.

Feet now on solid ground, Amy shouts an enthusiastic, “Okay,” before speeding off from the room, almost knocking over a low shelf in her haste.

“Don’t run, baby girl. And be careful not to knock over any furniture,”

She's met with nothing but the distanced pitter patter of her feet as she heads downstairs.

She faces him, “Why do I feel like I'm going to regret asking her to do that?”

Barely hiding his amused smirk, Oliver finally finishes his task and stuffs his hands in his front pockets as he provides her with his full attention. “Probably because you most definitely will.”

She rolls her eyes playfully at him before lowering her gaze and pushing a loose lock of hair behind her ear somewhat nervously. And then the obvious awkwardness and tension between them forces out any attempt at humor they'd been subconsciously trying to exchange.

Things are still not good between them. He's been lying by omission to her for months and she found out in the worst possible way. And though he's explained the situation to her, it hasn't even been 12 hours since he has. Neither has it been more than 24 hours since they saw a man die in front of them.

It's all pretty jarring. Pretending that everything is okay and going about life like nothing happened when in reality, they can't nor should they ignore it. He knows enough about psychology to be aware that this is something they should both talk about, but on the same hand, he’s convinced himself that he's finally done it this time. He's lost his best friend.

“I heard… what you said just now about me to Amy…”

The burn in his cheeks return again much like before, but he doesn't shy away from her eyes, this time meeting them because he'd never want her to believe that his words were anything less than genuine.

Felicity continues, “Did you really mean all those things you said?”

He has to think back to recall what exactly it is that she’s referring to, mostly because whenever he's having a genuine conversation with Amy, they bounce around to about a hundred different topics. She hadn’t let the topic of anti-heroes go and he’d had to do his best to innocently give her some information. In a roundabout way, they’d ended up talking about Felicity and how much of a superhero she is, all the while being sweet and kind. So, yeah, it takes him a bit to remember what she's talking about, and when he does, he can't help but smile.

Not because what he'd said wasn't true, but because she seems truly shocked that he'd think that - let alone say that of her.

“Of course I did,” he huffs out an amazed breath, “Felicity, you're astounding. You  _ know _ that.”

She smiles again, this one more self confident and much like the Felicity he knows, “I do know that. But… I don't know. I guess I forgot that you do too.”

That throws him for a loop, and he guesses she realizes it too by the confused look that must cross his face.

She sighs before trying again. “After… what happened, I sort of fell under the impression that I didn't know you anymore, and somehow by extension, I didn't really know what you think of me anymore either,” she grumbles in annoyance at herself, “It's stupid, I know.”

Dissecting her response so he can try to make sense of it all, he starts, “What happened… meaning me keeping the truth about Chase way from you?”

She nods at his words, seemingly hesitant to actually talk about it as she searches his face. After a second though, she must come to same conclusion he does - they shouldn't go around it.

“Yeah. I mean, Oliver. We tell each other  _ everything _ . That's what we decided after what happened all those months ago, remember?” she pauses, and it's long enough for him to feel his heart sink within in chest. She pushes pass it like she always does, and he follows her lead. “And even before then, we did that anyhow because that’s just what we were and are for one another. And because we're best friends. And also because it involved my child and I  _ need _ to be privy to everything concerning her, by the way,”

The last part she adds passive aggressively, though he doesn't fault her. Not in the slightest. But he doesn't have any excuses for that so he just settles on a feeble, “I'm really sorry.”

The breath of air she lets out is palpable even from where she's standing all the way across from him by the bathroom door, “I know you are. But, that decision to keep this from me just wasn't like you. So, I've been trying to make myself not fall under the impression that you've changed right under my nose or something,” the chuckle she lets out to try and lighten the mood is too forced to be anything but just sad right then.

She's right though, as easy as that is to admit. Keeping it from her isn't something the Oliver she knows would have done. But the Oliver she knows isn't in love with her. The Oliver she knows is just the father of her child and her best friend.

He thinks back to John’s words last night about how he didn't want to see the woman he loved hurt because of someone else's words. He can admit to himself now that there's nothing truer. John was always wiser than he was.

So while it's not an excuse, nor is it something he can admit to her, at least he can finally  _ handle it _ .

What he settles on saying to her, he hopes has enough truth to it for her concerns and insecurities when it comes to knowing him to go away.

“Felicity, I haven't changed. Or well, maybe I have, but never in a way that you weren't there to see the transformation yourself. What I did is inexcusable, and again, I'm so sorry. I made a mistake because I didn't want to worry you with what people thought. And I'll never make that decision again because I know you're strong enough to handle just about anything.”

He'd begin to close the distance between them as he spoke, too caught up in his determination for her to believe him to try to keep his distance. When he's done, he's only about a feet away from her, watching as she tips her head back in an effort to maintain eye contact with him. It reveals the enticingly creamy expanse of her neck and he squeezes his hand by his side into a closed fist to control himself.

“Promise?”

Her voice is layered with the uncertainty and unsurety she feels, but there's also no mistaking the unwithering amount of hope she's barely fighting to keep down as well.

“Promise.”

He absolutely means it.

“C’mere,” he says, erasing the space between them as he engulfs her into a hug. Her arms wrap around his midsection, face nuzzled in his chest as he squeezes her shoulders and tightens the embrace. He doesn't know if she forgives him, per say, but for the first time since last night, he doesn't feel like he's a thousand miles away from her, both physically and emotionally.

When he pulls away, he grabs her face between his hands before bringing his lips to her forehead to press a long kiss on her soft skin.

They linger in that bubble for a while, and though there's nothing being said, he feels like their thoughts are so loud, they're able to hear one another.

Felicity pulls away first, wiping away at a tear before it gets the opportunity to fall, her other hand still wrapped around his back. “Let's never fight again.”

He lets out a breathy laugh, touched that she's about as big a fan of them not being on good terms as he is. He meets her stare, “I'm inclined to agree with you, but if we never fight, then you never win. And I know you love winning.”

She hums, pondering his words and even bringing a finger to her chin as she taps it in mock concentration. “No, I love being  _ right _ , winning is just a natural occurrence for me.”

He'd roll his eyes at her if she weren't actually right. Damn.

“How'd today go?” he asks instead as he finally puts some distance between them, somewhere deep inside that aches for her touch but conscious enough to know that he can't take more than what's deemed safe.

A hint of what looks to be disappointment crosses her features, but it's gone before he can make any sense of it. What does stick is the tiredness and frustration from what he guesses must've been her day of trying to get ahead on damage control at her company.

“Today was… enlightening. And confusing. And frustrating. And that's just one issue,” she blows out a breath, the weight of the day seeming to finally catch up to her. “I saw Dinah at the cafe before I went in. She said that they couldn't identify the guy - you know, the one that died in front of us.”

Her eyes glaze over at the mention of him and he just knows without asking that she's imagining his dead body before her. He hurries to nod so she can move on and stop thinking of it.

Felicity shakes her head as if clearing the image from her mind, “Right, yeah, they couldn't identify him so… I tried my hand… and it turns out he's a discharged ex marine that dropped off the face of the earth years ago, and so did a few of his buddies. Anyways, I sent that info to the Police Department but for the life of me, I could not find out who hired them.”

“Good.”

Her eyes widen in disbelief, but he speaks again before she can, “That's not your problem. Or your job. It's the Police Department's, and you've done more than enough.”

She slouches, like she's mad at him for pointing out that very accurate fact, “Yeah, but it's a mystery. And you know how I feel about mysteries.”

“So watch the mystery unfold on the news like the rest of us mortals…” he trails off, hoping she'll let it go. But there's still a hint of defiance in her eyes. “Felicity, these people are dangerous, and I know you're smart enough to know poking around in dangerous things lead to… well, danger.”

Eventually seeing the truth  _ and _ the weight of his words, she reluctantly relents and drops it, “Fine. I'll leave it alone. Speaking of mysteries though. I found out what really happened with Chase last night.”

Frowning in confusion, he crosses his arms over his chest and questions, “You found out  _ that _ much stuff? In one afternoon?”

She shrugs, moving pass that fact like it's nothing. Maybe it isn't in her eyes, which makes it that much more fascinating.

“Yes, now - I watched the security tape and, Oliver, I don't think he was worried about those gunmen at all.”

He pushes past the discomfort he feels talking about him with her with everything now in the open, instead attempting to make sense of what she's implying. “What do you mean he wasn't worried about the gunmen? They were literally after him. That's why his detail got him out of there so fast.”

“Except they didn't… not really. Look, maybe you'll have to see it for yourself, but Chase didn't even so much as flinch when those men started firing shots or when the lights cut out. He almost looked as if… he expected it.”

An ominous feeling settles in his stomach the more she goes on, and he has half the mind to find Chase right this second and get answers from him. Because from the sounds of what Felicity saw - and he trusts her implicitly - he'd had a part in what went down last night, something he can still see the effects of in Felicity’s eyes. For that alone, he shouldn't be walking free.

As though seeing the thoughts running wild in his mind, Felicity places a hand on his chest as if to keep him in place, “Hey, I don't know what it is you're thinking but stop thinking it. What Chase did was suspicious, but that's all it was. There's nothing that links him back to what happened. If there was, I would have found it and SCPD would've brought him in as soon as I did.  _ But _ if he does have anything to do with this, the smartest thing to do would be to stay away from him. For now though, I’ll evilly laugh as he continuously falls on the stock market until his company plummets and he rots in hell. Other than that, let's relax and let the police do their jobs, okay?”

Blatantly throwing his words back into his face, she pats his chest placatingly before withdrawing her hand and meeting his eyes as she awaits his response. He groans in annoyance, “Fine. We'll let the police do their jobs for  _ all _ of what you found out.”

“Fine,” she mocks, “Guess I'll just have to fix my company like a normal CEO,” she sighs, sounding for the most part like that idea may bore her to death. Though that's only for the most part. He does not miss the frustration in her words, and it has everything to do with how hard she must be taking the hit from what happened last night.

Her dreams had been shot to the water, and from what he saw on the news, companies aren't too eager to work with Smoak Tech at the moment.

“Look, I'm sorry about-”

“Mommy, Daddy! Grandma and Walter are here!”

Both their heads swivel around to sound of Amy’s voice downstairs, and it hits him then that they've probably left her alone by herself for far too long. He's not exactly worried about her safety because his home is basically a fortress, and Amy’s always enjoyed her own company, but Felicity and himself  _ had _ been talking for a little while.

The fact that they'd had this whole conversation in his daughter's bathroom does make him chuckle for a bit, though it dies in his throat when he realizes that his mother invited herself over seeing as he most certainly hadn't made plans for her to be here.

Felicity looks back at him, question poised on her lips, “Why didn't you tell me she was coming over for dinner?”

“Because I was also unaware,” he sighs, “We better go. We'll talk some more later.”

That he can talk to her again isn't something that goes unappreciated by him, and he follows her lead with a small smile on his face as they finally leave Amy’s bedroom and head downstairs to his unexpected company.

“There you are. I was beginning to think you'd stay up there too. After all, you'd go through any lengths to avoid having a conversation with me,” his mother greets, always one for warm welcomes.

“It's nice to see you too, Mom,”

His mother, his stepfather Walter and Amy are all seated on the largest sofa in his entertainment room, Amy squished between the 2 of them as she'd seemingly been engrossing them with a story. His mother stands at his response though, poised and elegant as always as she steps towards him.

“Don't patronize me, Oliver.”

He muffles a laugh before pulling her in for a gentle hug, shy smile settling on his lips when she whispers, “I've missed you, my beautiful boy.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he echos, pulling away as she does, her gaze shifting behind him as she moves away as well.

“Felicity, darling, I heard what happened,” his mother starts softly, pulling Felicity into another warm hug before stepping back. “Are you alright?”

“I am. Shaken up a little bit, but mostly just motivated to get things back on track at the company,” she replies, voice genuinely calm as she reassures her.

His mother nods in understanding, resting a hand on her shoulder as she kindly asserts, “And I have no doubt that you will. In fact, things will be even better than they were before.”

“Well, I sure hope so,” she agrees, though he does not miss her uncertainty.

“They will,” Oliver joins in, taking a step closer to them as he insists. Both his mother and himself are pretty stubborn, and while Felicity could beat him at this any other day, for today, 2 against 1 will win this one.

She shakes her head in defeat, but a smile does blossom on her lips once again so he doesn't feel too bad about that. “Okay, okay.”

“Can we eat now?” Amy chimes from her seat, Walter chuckling at her impatience in his spot beside her. After greeting him briefly, Oliver turns to his daughter.

“We can,” he steps towards the sofa, pulling her into his arms and heading to the kitchen, playfully teasing her as he adds, “But you'll get your share last.”

She falls for it, of course, “Hey, why do I get my share last?”

 

**

 

They’re well into the meal when his mother resumes her usual pestering and guilt tripping, though she tones it down a bit for Amy’s sake. Their relationship has improved a lot over the years, but more times than not they'd been forced to do that by the situations that fall on them. 

Currently, he's been busy with mayoral duties, limiting his time - and his tolerance - for her. It's not that he doesn't love her or doesn't want to spend time with her, or that she hasn't become far less cold and harsh over the years, but it's just a case of him being annoyed by her in that way children grow exasperated with their parents.

And with Thea away at college, he’s become the main subject of her of doting. Although she does extend most of her affections to Amy, the two of them having formed a surprisingly tight bond over the years. Amy thinks the world of both her grandmothers, and they think the same of her. Despite a lot of rough patches between the adults over the years, especially involving his mother who'd eventually come to accept Amy as his, in the end they'd all just wanted Amy to always be surrounded by love and he's glad to say that they've achieved that.

He's seated at the head of the table, Felicity and Amy to his right and his mom and Walter to his left. Felicity offers him a sympathetic smile as his mother shares her thoughts on his presence - or lack there of - around her as of late, “Walter has been quite busy at the bank, and with my charity events being as successful as they are, I've had a lot of free time to myself. So much free time that it made me realize that I hadn't seen much of my only son in over 2 weeks. Now imagine my disappointment when my only avenue of learning about what's currently happening with you is through the news,”

Swallowing down a sip of water, Oliver glances at Walter, who for as short a time that he's known him has always tried to intervene whenever his mother was being unfairly overbearing towards him. This time though, he only gives him an apologetic shrug and that makes him even more aware that his mother isn't over exaggerating.

“The news  _ is _ very efficient,” he mumbles sarcastically, though it must have been loud enough for everyone to hear if the looks all the adults at the table give him is any indication. Amy’s too busy stuffing her face to listen to them, and he's glad for it because he'd hate for her to be privy to the conversation around her.

Oliver blows out a breath as he tries again, “I'm sorry, Mom. I've just been busy and I didn't think to keep you updated on what's happening with me.”

For her part, her face softens while she reaches a hand out to squeeze his, “I always want to hear what's happening with you  _ from _ you, Oliver. Just, keep that in mind the next time your name gets splashed all over gossip sites or you go through near death experiences, okay?”

He figures he can give her that. As a parent, he supposes he gets it - even though he knows just about everything that happens with his daughter, but still, he understands. He nods at her, and she returns it before she continues her meal. But curiosity must get the best of her because she puts down her fork not long after to ask, “What happened with that young man? Adrian Chase?”

Tension fills his body at the mention of his name and he almost chokes on his food after having not expected her to bring him up. He glances towards Felicity tentatively, because as much as it seems like they're on good terms now, this man is the very reason there'd been a rift between them in the first place. He doesn't want to say something that could mess it all up.

He doesn’t even know what it is he's supposed to tell his mother. She's aware that he'd run against him for mayor of course, but like everyone else, she has no clue what had happened between them. And he doesn't know how much of it Felicity would be comfortable with him sharing. He can already feel the discomfort forging in his throat at the very thought of telling her what went down.

But Felicity’s face remains soft and unworried as she gives him a small nod in a sign that she's got this. “Turns out he wasn't as trustworthy as I'd thought, so coupled with the fact that there are hitmen are after him, Smoak Tech won't be doing business with him anymore.”

“Oh, wow. Excellent choice then,” his mother replies, but he sees it in the way that she ducks her gaze for a moment in contemplation that she isn't satisfied with that watered down version of the story. She wants the full truth, and if he knows one thing, it's that she  _ will _ get it. For now though, she simply accepts what she's given, “Well, after what happened, I know that some companies are rather cold towards yours right now, Felicity. But, I will see to it that Queen Consolidated doesn't waver in its support. I promise you that.”

“Mom,” he starts, stunned for a second, “You don't have to go to him,”

“He’s right. I appreciate the gesture, but you most definitely don't have to do that at all, Moira. I'll work to gain  _ everyone's  _ trust by myself just fine.” Felicity insists, staring ahead at his mother where she's seated directly across from her.

Walter speaks next, immaculately calming British accent drawing all eyes to him, “If I may… there's no doubt that you could fix this all on your own, Ms. Smoak, but, after what happened with that hitman, it’d be smart to not have too much things on your plate - it must be weighing on you. Help is always good when it's coming from the right people.”

He can tell that even before Walter has stopped talking that he’s convinced Felicity and he doesn't really have it in him to attempt to counteract him. He's somewhat right, even if he doesn't necessarily want his mother going that route. And truth be told he knows better than to try to make her not do something she's already made up her mind on.

Eventually Felicity nods in acceptance and they all finish their meal in relative silence.

It's after 8 when he leaves the kitchen after doing the dishes by himself, and he walks into the living room expecting to see all of them were he'd left them. Only, Felicity is missing from the group.

Amy’s snuggled in his mom's arms, head resting on her chest as they all watch the TV before them. Clearing his throat so they're aware of his presence, Oliver asks, “Hey, did Felicity leave already?”

“No, mommy's on the balcony. Said she needed fresh air. I told her to go to the beach for that but she just laughed…” he chuckles at Amy’s response as he steps forward to ruffle her hair a bit. Protesting with a, “Hey!” she pushes his hand away in offence.

He shakes his head as he walks off in search of Felicity.

He finds her where Amy said she'd be on the balcony outside the entertainment room, her back to him as she leans against the tall railing. He can tell even from here that there's about a million things running around in that mind of hers and he approaches her somewhat noisily so she doesn’t startle at his presence.

When she glances behind at him, a small smile blooms on her lips as she takes him in, eyes not leaving his as he comes to a stop beside her, only he spins and leans his back against the railing.

The night air sways the trees surrounding the house, and except for the background noise of the TV inside and his mother, Walter or Amy’s voices sounding a few times, the place is quiet and serene.

“Hey,” he begins, watching as her loose curls sway in the wind. She looks mesmerizing, blue eyes staring into his completely open for him to inspect for the first time in a little while.

He sees a lot of emotions in them, all of them varying depending on the different things she's currently dealing with. He wishes he could erase all the ones that threaten to take her smile away.

“Hey,” she returns.

“Where's your mind specifically right now?”

Her eyes move from his, focusing instead on nothing specifically in front of her as she thinks. “Well, it bounces around continuously but I'd say right this second it's on how you almost died in front of me.”

“I-” he begins, only then realizing he doesn't know how to finish. The decision to do that wasn't even a decision really. It was instinct. He'd choose her over him. Every time. He can't necessarily say that, so he settles on, “But I didn't. And that's all that matters, Felicity. And we'll just take extra care that a situation like that one doesn't happen again.”

She nods, hearing him, but he can tell, she's not really  _ hearing _ him. “Just… don't die, ever. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you anymore.” He's surprised at how serious she's being, and it causes his breath to stutter for a moment.

“I won't die, ever. I promise.”

She smiles. He pulls her into a hug again, not caring in the slightest that allowing her into his arms this much in one day might be hard when he later realizes - like he always does - that it likely means way more to him than it does to her.

“Okay, where has your mind travelled now?” he whispers, chin tucked on top of her head as her arms stay wrapped around his torso.

“Smoak Tech. The chip,” she mumbles almost incoherently, “Disappointing my mother.”

He grasps her shoulders lightly and pulls back to look down at her, “Is that why you're avoiding talking to her?”

She groans, reaching a hand up to her forehead to rub at it harshly. When he'd visited Donna today, she'd told him about how she'd been trying to have a conversation with her for longer than a minute since what happened at the company, but Felicity wasn't having it.

“I'm not avoiding her. I just - how can I look her in the face and tell her, again, that I still haven't fulfilled my promise to fix all of this? I told her that it was all finally going to come true. She's going to hate me.”

He grabs her by her face, urging her to look at him and to see the conviction with which he believes what he says next with.

“First, it's not your fault. I know I've been saying it for years, and I'll probably be saying it for even longer, but what happened to your mother wasn't your fault. Second, your mother would never hold any of this against you. She loves you, and she knows you're trying your hardest to do this for her. And please, please, don't forget that her being unable to walk doesn’t define her. It's just something that's apart of her. She's not waiting teeth and nail for the day that it'll all be fixed. So, please, don't feel like you've disappointed her. That's far from the truth.”

Felicity’s lips quiver like she's about to cry, but she holds back her tears from falling, instead flattening her hand over his chest right above his heart. Ignoring the quickening of his heart beat, he concentrates on the way she attempts to accept his words for the truth that they are.

“You're right. I'm just… really disappointed by how everything fell apart so quickly,” she admits, meetings his eyes again and giving him a sad smile.

He sighs, disappointed along with her, “I know you are. But you're Felicity Smoak. And there's nothing you can't fix.”

  
  


**

 

The bell above the store door rings as he pushes it open, stepping aside and allowing Felicity and Amy to enter before he follows them in. 

“Can we get chocolate  _ and _ strawberry?” Amy squeaks, already heading in the direction of the frozen foods area as she grabs both of their hands and tugs them towards their destination.

Felicity chuckles and they both wave to the old lady, Marge, at the register as they pass by her. “Are you looking to get 10 cavities?”

Actually thinking on it first, Oliver muffles his laughter as Amy finally answers, “No?”

He meets Felicity’s eyes and they both let out a hearty laugh at her response. And this, right here, right now, feels like  _ them _ . It finally feels as if what happened with Chase is behind them, and now they're just doing their normal Sunday shopping of ice cream. It's their family enjoying time together, and he feels like all is right in the world.

He couldn't be happier.

“No, nugget. You don't want 10 cavities.”

The confusion that had curled her brows disappears and she smiles his favorite smile as she squeals once again, “Oh. Okay! So, chocolate  _ and _ strawberry?” she strategically asks, grin wide as she looks back and forth between them.

“Here's the deal. We'll get both, but you don't get to open the other until one of them is finished. Sound acceptable?” Felicity offers, though it's not really an offer. It's definitely what they're going to do, but it's nice that she makes it out as if she has options.

Amy agrees, nodding her head vigorously because like always, she’s none the wiser.

“Felicity Smoak! Is that you?”

All three of their heads spin around to the voice behind them, Oliver almost immediately ready to deal with the situation if need be. But if the way Felicity’s eyes widen in shock is any indication, she recognizes the man quickly approaching him, so he relaxes a tiny bit.

“Ray! Hey! You're back in Star City?” Felicity replies, accepting the hug he pulls her into. It's not until he's in front of them that he realizes that there's a woman with him, and some part of him sighs in relief because he's pretty sure he's in a relationship with her. Just like he's pretty sure this man is Felicity’s ex boyfriend from 6 months ago.

Amy shuffles a bit closer to him, not unkind to strangers but decidedly not very open to them either. He rubs a hand over her hair and squeezes the hand he's still holding in comfort.

“Yeah, we're here for a little while, but then we'll be back on the road again,” Ray says, taking a step back and wrapping an arm around the woman's waist as he brings her forward.

“We as in…” Felicity prompts, obviously not familiar with her yet.

Ray shakes his head a tiny bit at himself before he introduces the woman, “Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. This is Anna.”

Felicity’s eyes widen, stretching a hand out to shake hers but keeping her eyes on Ray as she asks, “ _ The _ Anna?”

“That would be correct, yes. After what happened with us, we sort of found each other again and we worked things out, so now, here we are.”

Anna, for her part, can’t seem to keep the smile off her face and she looks at Ray like a woman in love, “It's so nice to meet you, Felicity. I've heard a lot about you, both from Ray and from just about every tech outlet.”

Felicity’s eyes soften, and he knows that she's already found a friend in her, “At the moment, that can't possibly be a good thing, but it's very nice to finally meet you too, Anna.”

“Mommy… ice cream,” Amy mumbles, impatient and decidedly not very good at manners at the moment it appears.

All heads turn to her but he tugs her hand so he has her attention, “Ice cream can wait until Mommy's finished talking with her friends. We don't interrupt conversations, especially ones adults are having, remember?” His face is closed off and mildly stern as he reminds her, and it's enough for her to recognize her fault.

Turning to their company, she whispers, “I'm sorry,” before bowing her head in shame.

Felicity grabs her hand and she looks up at her again at attention, “This is my baby girl Amelia,” she gestures at him next, “and this is Oliver. We were actually here to get ice cream as she so kindly pointed out.”

Ray and Anna exchange looks then return the small wave that Amy gives them. “We're here to get some ice cream too. How about me, you and Felicity go check out our choices and us girls choose the best flavours, okay?” Anna suggests to Amy, and he decides he like her then too.

“Okay!” Amy agrees, ever one to be easy to appease.

Anna, Amy and Felicity walk away from them, and Felicity gives him an apologetic look right before they turn the final corner. And then they're out of view.

“Oh, hey, congrats on becoming Mayor,” Ray surprises him and says, and he clears his throat to stall for a minute before he answers. There's no reason to dislike the guy or to be intimidated by him, but he  _ was _ Felicity’s ex. Clearly he had something that Oliver doesn't.

“Thanks, man. Congrats on the engagement.”

From the way his eyes widen in shock, it's obvious he didn't expect him to catch it. “How did you-”

“Well, I mean, that  _ is _ an engagement ring on Anna’s finger, right?”

The man chuckles in clear disbelief before admitting, “Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's new, and quick, I know, but I wasn't cheating on Felicity or anything like that. We were together for 3 years before then we broke up for a little while. Then when Felicity and I ended I realized that I had to fight for Anna because I'd already found the one, you know?”

He thinks about Felicity’s smile.

“I do,” he agrees.

Ray shakes his head at himself again like what he'd said isn't something that's really damn obvious. “Duh, of course you do. I mean, you and Felicity are together now.”

His heart shoots up, beating far too frantically in his chest for a second, “Oh, actually-”

“I mean, I guess I always knew she was in love with you? I’d never met you but, I felt like I had because she talked about you  _ so much _ .”

He feels like he's about to go deaf, blood rushing into his ear so loud, he can't hear. But at the same time, it's like the store is eerily quiet, and each of Ray’s words echo throughout his brain.

“Ray, you have it all w-”

“She never said it, but on top of her never letting me meet Amy, or how she'd always relate everything back to you, or how whenever I'd ask her about her day, I knew she'd already told you every detail about it first, it was so damn obvious that she was in love with you. I'm just happy that you guys finally worked it all out. Your family is beautiful.”

“Ray, we're not together.”

He snaps his mouth shut.

“Daddy, look! We got chocolate and strawberry!”

He turns towards his daughter's voice as she, Anna and Felicity return, forcing a smile on his face and avoiding Felicity’s eyes. “That's great nugget,”

Anna greets her fiance again, showing him the cartons she'd picked up. He makes the mistake of meeting Ray’s eyes, his sympathy and remorse shining within them as he looks at him.

He really doesn’t know what the fuck to even think.

“Are you alright, Oliver?”  _ she _ asks, and he bites down on his tongue before he can say something he'll regret. Like hell he knows.

But, she can't possibly know the storm of emotions wrecking havoc in his mind right now, so he settles on a simple, “I'm fine.”

He hopes she buys it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there's your serving of drama.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh that's it! How'd you like it?
> 
> you can find me at:  
> tumblr: [@emilyszuko](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/emilyszuko)  
> twitter: [@emilyszuko](https://twitter.com/emilyszuko)  
> to check for updates
> 
> interested in my other work? Read [For My People (especially for you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683813/chapters/31431447)


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